This is a first: 21 year old female lives at home. she works everyday. mother has curfew time for her to be home. mom charges her $20 for each hour she is late from a date. whats with this?
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 27
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rare, indeed. my daughter is 21. she has no curfew, but I expect her to contact me if she is going to be late, out of courtesy.
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That is a different way to get your kids to get home and i think that is way 2 much money.I dont think money should be used to get your kids home on time.
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This is very unconventional!
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Those are the rules of the house, and if I may say so, they suck because they are oppressive and disrespectful of an adult's ability to determine what's best for her. If that'd been the rule in my house when I was twenty-one, I'd still be paying off the debt thirteen years later.
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As long as a "child" is still living at home, especially if rent free, then the homeowner (parent) can enforce a curfew and penalize financially. I think it is a brilliant idea because the parent can not really put a 21 yo on restriction or ground them, but hitting them in the pocketbook is really tangible to a 21 yo. If the 21 yo is working, she can either move out or deal with the house rules. If she is late home because of the job, I think some arrangement of understanding should be made with the parent. Perhaps parent and child should sit down and negotiate some "house rules" that pay respect to both parties.
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The charges are ridiculous, it seems to me that the money is more important. I understand that she wants her home, but come on, whats with the charges? is she trying to run a bank?
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Parents that don't know when to let it is what it is. My parents pulled the same thing, if you are dependent in anyway on your parents, they use that as levrage so they can still control your live.
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I can understand the parents of adult children who live at home wanting the kids to still respect the rules of the home, etc... but there is a way to do it without being condescending or disrespectful to the 21 year old. Sounds like the mom has some control issues.
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Your living in her house, so you live by her rules.
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Wow, sound like she needs to cut the apron spings.
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poor girl. She can come live with me
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If you don't like Mom's rules, then go rent your own place, pay your own bills, and live like you want to. Mom is probably trying to get you to see that living at home is not as much fun as moving into your own place, and letting mom have that room to make into a sewing room.
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I left home because of similar stupid rules. I never looked back. Find some roomates to split the rent with, have a good time.
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The $20:00 an hour is a bit much. A parent should not profit from punishing a child. My aunt had a good way of dealing with my cousin when she was living at home to cut living costs while doing postgrad study. She bought her a car, but retained legal ownership herself. Minor misconduct was dealt with by a reprimand, but more serious stuff (e.g driving her mother's own Jaguar without permission or insurance) would lead to the use of the 2nd car being withdrawn for a period appropriate to the misconduct. This would mean getting up about an hour earlier to use public transport, and having to arrange a ride or take a cab if going out for the evening.
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The mother sounds like a complete bitch, but it is her house. My recommendation is move out as soon as possible and sever all contact.
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Mom's home, mom's rules. Don't like it? Grow up and move out!
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I guess her Mom is looking for some extra money for booze and smokes or something. Bizarre. But, the girl is 21 and has a job so she certainly doesn't have to continue living there.
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ok. i'd say that's too extreme on the mom's part. but she's 21. if she really doesn't like that, either 1 don't be late, or 2. move out and make her own rules
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Run baby run.
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This is control the daughter is allowing the mother to have over her; answer is she should move out and never let someone control you like that; if it were me I would move out, not tell her where, come back and burn down her car for playing extortion games; a head for an eye!
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i feel sorry for that girl. sounds like the mother has her brain washed and controlled. its easy to say she should move out but if she was raised that way its difficult for her. if your her friend, then try to help her not judge her or critize her. she needs counseling to help break moms control.
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It sounds like it is time for that 21 year old female to move out.
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Under Mom's roof you follow Mom's rules! Wanna make your own rules then move out! The $20 an hour is not proper. That is childish in my opinon. +6 Anonymous!
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Its a dictatorship. And its revolting that the mother would do that; sad that the girl puts up with it.
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Yeah, everybody can say the 21 year old should move out and all...but what the mother is doing is pretty freaking maniacal, let's not overlook that.
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Her mother is a genius. What she is doing is making life unbearable for an adult, so she'll eventually want to get her own place, because she's learning the lesson that it's under her mum's roof, it's her mum's rules, if she doesn't like it, get her own roof and make her own rules. She's forcing her to act like an adult by treating her like a child, it's genius, I say she moves out in 2 months.
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Independence is your answer.
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