ANSWERS: 72
  • That's why you set up his or hers accounts for them with the idea that, they don't get an account unless you set it up yourself, that way you have the password and monitor what they are doing...I know that does not answer your question so here is something you might want to try...BEAT IT OUT OF HIM OR HER lol or maybe not...
  • See that long cord in the back? Pull it out of the wall and take the unit away. You are the parent. He is the child. Kids have never before been exposed to more danger than through the internet. Exercise your right as a parent.
  • It is called take the computer away and ground him until he does as it is plain that he is hiding something from you.
  • I am assuming you own the computer.Take the computer away until he shares the password. Asking him/her for their password, shows me you dont trust them, I am sure he/she would feel the same way. I wouldnt ask for it unless they have proven to me they are not trustworthy.
  • I'm with Gideon. Unless your child is paying your mortgage and bought the computer himself, both the bedroom and the computer belong to you. He has the use of both as long as he follows your rules. Take the computer away and tell him he may get it back, if he supplies the passwords and lives by your rules.
  • You can always just search him on youtube, find his page and then just monitor the videos he may be uploading without use of the password...unless your only concerned for the messages he may be recieving, but the videos and comments can usually be seen unless set to private in which case only him or his friends can see them.
  • Take away the computer access until he gives you the YouTube access you want. It's your house, your rules.
  • can i ask who is the parent here??? my goodness....who does not want to trust their kids , BUT TRUST IS EARNED MY DEAR...same as RESPECT...teach him some...AND THATS BEING A GOOD MOM NOT HIS WORST ENEMY !! IF YOU DONT DISCIPLINE AND CONTROL THAT BOY AT 14, GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT HE WILL CONTROL AND DO TO U AT 18.... it is ur right and as of til 18, his are limited in ur house!!! a friend got access to her 16 yr. old daughters and had no idea she was so nasty talking,sexually promiscuious...she was never allowed on it again..thats what trying to trust got them...it broke her and her husbands hearts terribly....and they realized right fast how irresponsible and far too lenient they had been.....these are kids, that need responsible ,guiding and teaching with firm lessons learned...they are not adults ,but ur kids who have to LEARN WHAT THEIR PARENTS TEACH...and hopefully , WHO THE BOSS IS...JUSTME:)P S , IT IS SAD ,BUT IT TRULLY SOUNDS LIKE "TEACHING HIM RESPECT" IS A LITTLE TOO LATE....
  • No password, NO COMPUTER. Unplug it, pick it up and march it right away. See how fast that works!
  • Hmm.. I think there might be a way to do this reasonably. Try looking at the situation from his point of view. I imagine it would seem pretty hostile. How about you ask him to log in, and you can look at all you need to see, without having his password. I'm a big youtuber, and I can tell you there really isn't anything on there that is too innappropriate for a 14 year old. No creepy stalkers, no viruses, and no nudity.
  • Man just take his TV, Computer, Bike and anything besides clothes and food you paid for. Make him pay rent and make him get a job. Bet if you tell him he has to do these things he'll realize quick he isn't grown
  • OK ... I can understand Monitoring a MySpace, Facebook, or a Twitter ... Account to see if there are any pervs trying to get too chummy with your child ... AND; If you were not allowed to monitor those accounts with your son at your side as you look thru any of those ... then; I'd be taking away his computer access. BUT: a u-tube account is , in my humble opinion , different ... I do not se how any perves ect could try to reach your son , contact him ect ... or he anyone esle ; since it is the posting of funny stuff ..mostly ... ect ..and NO personal contact . Maybe ; you need to re-think your idea of just What to monitor .... and the two of you can reach a Happy medium that works for the BOTH of you .... However; with that said ; YOU are the Mother / Parent and it is YOUR home . YOU are the BOSS and he needs to learn and accept that fact .... IF it comes down to it ; Take Away the Computer ... Minimum of 60 days !!
  • um hey. i relly don't think there is anything on youtube that you really need to monitor your son on. all on there is music, t.v shows etc. ntn on there like porn, nudity, things like that.
  • Okay, there are of course a few solutions to your dilemma. 1. Don't take the computer remove the cabling and or Ethernet card. Then your 14 year old will be able to use the computer but won't be able to get on the internet. Much more cruel but as with taking the whole machine it doesn't solve your problem. 2. Buy one of the many monitoring software packages. With that you can actually see what your child is actually doing. You can record chat sessions and track what web pages you child visited. 3. Just go into the Web history on the computer. It will show you what you child has been looking at.
  • Youtube isn't much of a threat... if it was myspace, bebo, etc then sure! Even so I can understand him getting annoyed at the lack of privacy... 14 year olds seem to think they're grown men! So at I think he should still be monitored but you don't really need his password, as other people have said. On youtube you can see his profile without being logged in. Maybe limit his internet time?
  • You are the boss. I would stop him from using utube also. You are the parent. Technically, you can find his password but I don't know how. Cell phone use could also be restricted. Grounding works like a charm. No phone, no tv, no friends over. Make sure he knows who is in charge.
  • YOU are the parent!!!!! Take charge!! It's your job to instill the best morals and values you can provide. Will he be mad . . . sure . . . but he'll be mad again sometime anyway. You're there not as a friend but to lead him in the right direction. Good luck! :)
  • Wow, controlling much? I don't blame him for not giving you his password. I probably wouldn't, either. Yes, that includes when I was 14 years old. Do you think your son is stupid or something? My parents taught us that passwords should NEVER be shared. They never asked us for our passwords so that we could learn to keep our passwords to ourselves. Even websites say that you are NOT allowed to give anyone else your password, EVER. I don't even understand why you're so worried about YouTube anyway. I don't really think most people who go on that website send a lot of messages to each other. I have a YouTube account and I mainly use it to look up videos and watch them.
  • just search his username up on google and then click on the youtube result. i could check my youtube there, found by accident, when i typed in "betony24". lol. hope this helps. =P
  • why do you need his password he is entiteld to his privacy allso there are much worse thing on the internet then utube.
  • Leave it alone, there are boundries of privacy that teens should have, and this is one of them. Besides, youtube doesn't have a feature that lets you see every video he's watched, thats what the browsing history is for on your browser. If he doesn't want to give you the password, that's his right, because while you may be his parent, it's still his private account information. It's like when i made my first bank account, my dad didn't ask for my pin because it's not appropriate. I understand you want him to be safe onj the internet, but we have parental controls for that kind of thing. Asking for a password is a little too far.
  • As a parent I think a 14 year old needs to understand who is the parent and who is the child. If he wants computer privileges then, like all other privileges in life, there are rules, regulations and guidelines which need to be followed. I agree with you wanting to know his password. I understand what others have said about YouTube not being predatorial and that may be the case. I don't think that is the big issue. Your son needs to know you are the one who will determine his boundaries, not him. It is your right and you will flex that right when you feel the need. End of Story. Good luck.
  • You could invest in a CyberSitter account or something to that effect, or set up parental controls to disallow that website. He'll very likely turn over the password (or at least let you have a glance at his account) in lieu of losing it entirely. As far as "no nudity on youtube", that's just not the case. There is plenty of inappropriate material on youtube, and all it takes to find it is "confirming" your birth date. If your son is anything like I was when I was 14, YouTube thinks he's 35.
  • Take away his computer OR trust him. Tell him to go on it with you there to view it.
  • I am sorry you are unable to trust your 14 year old. all you can do it deny him computer access.
  • ... on the one hand, YouTube is a very low risk ... ... on the other hand, you may just confiscate the entire computer and refuse to allow him to access it until he complies ... you may even install a spyware keystroke & mouse click recorder to monitor everything, then just check the log file ... you may also setup a home network with YOUR computer as the server and his as a mere network terminal, this way, he is required to go through your computer to even get to the internet, again giving you a usage log file to check ...
  • Okay. Look I am a 14 year-old. And that's not the way to do it. I know you want to see what he is doing. Don't push the issue. If you are worried he is watching something he shouldn't be dont worry. Youtube is pornography-free. None of that is allowed. If you really need to know what is happening I suggest you follow some of the guidelines above, but in a NONINTRUSIVE way! pushing your nose in where he thinks it doesnt belong is NOT the way to get things.
  • I would let him keep his computer. I would set a time that is convinent for me so I can sit and moniter him. He will stay home and go to school only. I will monitor his cell phone use. I will take the door to his room. When he start giving me reasons to trust him, he will gain some of his privacy back..your house your rules. I also saw the on the news about two things that were mentioned above (spyware keystroke & mouse click recorder)..They seem to be effetive.
  • Has he done anything wrong for you to have reason to need his password? I wouldn't agree that you have the right to have his password unless he has done something wrong to deserve his loss of privacy. If you really want that much control then you just need to take away his computer use.
  • Pull the plug!
  • What did he do to lose your trust?....to be honest if I was 14 I probably wouldnt hand over my password to anything either. But if you feel the need to that much...get a keystroke recorder.....
  • Its not a matter of whether or not you trust your child, its who you can NOT trust on the either end of the computer. In my house, I have all my children's passwords for whatever they do. The computer is in a location where its visible by myself or my husband at all times. We also have a program installed on our computer that will tell us any passwords to any accounts if they should decided not to tell us. If this offends my children, if this makes them upset, if this causes them to pissed off at me, then so be it. I'd rather them be all of the above than kidnapped by some sick pyscho freak and raped. There are way more important issues to be aware of than their privacy.
  • I see most everyone sheares my thoughts to: You are the parent. I have a offer for you I have a program (you can research it one line:goldeneye)I would be more than happy to share with you with the serial-it's mine that runs in the background and logs EVERY keystroke typed on your PC...sound dishonest...WHATEVER..Your home~your rules-don't feel bad. In this day and age our children/teens need to know that there are consequences for there actions be them good or bad. For the one comment I saw that said there is no need to worry about nudity and stalkers and ect....check it out for yourself ...do a simple search on youtube using the tube "sex" see what comes up...I promise it won't be suger and spice and everthing nice. He doesn't want to give you the password take the pc or take matters in your own hands....want the program email me~ mltandblm@aol.com Best Wishes!
  • Do you need the password to see his youtube page? You can try just looking at it from the same point of view everyone else does; and if he posts something you don't approve, you can see it. - Teenagers are not children. They need to learn responsibilities and have some space. But of course, neither are they adults; they are still learning.
  • Lets see, how much does the puter weigh? Do you have your own private room in this house? Do you know how to un plug the puter? It will it hurt your feelings if your son shoots you in the back of your head? What is wrong with you??
  • Either my kid would give it to me or he/she would not use my pc again. And I would probably ground'em for good measure.
  • if by utube you mean youtube then he's proboly just embaresed cause he was looking at some soft core realy inocent "dirty" pics and videos. come on...who would want there mom finding that out. that being said...if you ask for it, he dosent have a choice. pull the cords if you have to. but keep an open mind, i remember my mom finding my playboys when i was 14...it sucked...she could have just pretended to not notice. im realy happy that your showing any concern all. i'v lost a lot of faith in parents latly and you'v restored some of it. thank you
  • disconnect the internet.... tell him unless you see his account theres no mre computer, he has got 2 give in. hell im 23 n nothing cud m8k me give up my computer
  • Put a password on your computer and limit his access until you can see he is being appropriate. Also there are cheap snoop programs that will key log all of his chats, passwords, etc and he never has to know they are there.
  • youtube doesnt have any explicit porn on it i dont think its allowed, but there are ways online to track what people do on your computer, and put a password on the computer so he can't get on it until he tells you....
  • Put a keylogger onto the computer. In our house the computers' in an open part of the house so there is little chance of him doing anything untoward on it.
  • Ground rules, written of need be, inculding when he/she can be on-line, how long, prohibited sites & content, a password list, & consequences for violations, plus follow up by the parent from time to time.
  • It is your right, because I know (I hope, at least) that you're concerned for his safety online. But -please-, don't pull the "I'M MOM, YOU WILL DO WHAT I SAY, WHEN I SAY" card. I got that all the time growing up, and all it ever made me want to do was get further away from her rule, faster. Explain to him why you want to check the account, in a person-to-person manner, not PARENT to CHILD. Assure him that it's not because you want to snoop, just want to do the occasional check to make sure he's not gotten into anything that could be dangerous. Chances of him taking offense to this are high, he'll probably think you're insinuating that he's either stupid and can't stay out of trouble, or that he's intentionally doing something he shouldn't. If he still refuses after you speak to him and you think there's really something to be concerned about, place an internet lock on the computer. I used to use http://www1.k9webprotection.com/ for my younger sister.
  • Huh, you think it's 'your right'?, maybe if you didn't have this attitude your son would trust you enough to give you his password. Of course if trust existed you wouldn't want it in the first place.
  • Shut down the computer. Parenthood is a dictatorship, not a democracy.
  • You don't have a lot of options if you can't trust him. If he has access to a computer, either yours, his own, or even computers at a library or other public place, then he has access to porn. The less you trust him, the more he will hide what he's doing, and the farther he'll have to go (and will go) to do that. So as long as you make this about "forcing him to do what you want", then you have given up a lot of the "trusting him to do what is right ... and telling you when he has made a mistake, or might be about to". Have you sat him down and spoken to him about sex, including relations with others (girls and boys included), masturbation, and other aspects of his own sexual maturity? Does he have a lot of close friends in school and outdoor physical activities that don't involve the computer (so that you have less to worry about from online predators)? Have you talked to him about pornography and some of its variations? After all, Playboy isn't the same as some of the really vile stuff that's available. And if not, why not? These are absolutely necessary. (Most of the other American men that I know -- and I -- grew up with occasional to frequent access to Playboy magazine, for example, and it doesn't seem to have harmed us. If your son is interested in photos of nude women, then that's a natural and normal thing that you should expect. If he's obsessed with that, then you have a problem, but that comes down to knowing your son.) After that I would tell him -- did tell my kids, and they're in their 20s now and healthy and well -- I'm not going to give you a credit card or access to my own credit card, and I'm not going to monitor you closely and watch over your shoulder. But I do want to meet your friends, and I expect you to tell me if you're contacted by anyone who seems "too good to be true" or just plain older or "creepy-feeling" to you. We taught our kids to respect their own bodies and to respect others' feelings and privacy, and kept channels open for them to communicate if they wanted or needed to. "Pulling the plug" and "denying access" are unworkable -- because those fixes are easily bypassed by tech-savvy kids -- and the wrong approach in any case. Good luck to you and your son.
  • Simple. You take away the internet until he provides you with his password
  • You unplug the computer and put it away where he can't get at it until he is willing to comply. I doubt very much that he earned the money for the computer himself. Even if he did, I doubt he is paying rent. As long as it is your home and your computer, you get to make the rules. I worked with sex offenders for three years. They are extremely devious and persistent at getting what they want. Your child will be a very likely victim if you aren't watching over him. If he doesn't allow you to check his account, he is in harm's way. Taking the computer away is just being a good parent.
  • Put a lock on the door of the computer room and do not give him the combination.
  • if he doesnt want to give you his password, more than likely he is hiding something. Dont allow him on the internet until you know what he's doing
  • I'm 16 and my mom has my passwords to everything so you're just being a parent. When I refused to give my password to my mom for myspace she took the computar out of my room and put it in the family room and also blocked me from using it for a month. She now has parental codes set on all unsafe websites and chat rooms so I can't enter them. Make sure your son has all his things set to private so only friends can visit is web page and that he don't give out to much information. It's better safe then sorry.
  • No password - no access, & it will help build trust if you show a little understanding & not freak out over every little thing, in my experience.
  • If he will not do what you ask then put the computer in your room or disable it or disconnect the internet access. You can get a keylogger and find out everything he does online. However, for his refusal to provide the information there should be additional consequences.
  • Take his computer OUT of his room OR if he uses a family computer in a central location ; change the administrator's password and don't give it to him ... While you are checking ; lok at his MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter IF he has those accounts ... you'd be surprised at what you might come across ... +5
  • This is a tough one to answer. As others have said, you do need to protect your kid from the creeps, and you have a right to know what he's doing. But you also need to look at it from his point of view. If I were your kid, I wouldn't give you my password either, out of principle, even if you took the computer away because I refused. If I were your kid, I'd be thinking: you don't rspect my privacy, and you don't believe in fundamental civil liberties, so why should I respect your rules? Again, you have the right to impose whatever rules you want on your child, but you're asking for trouble by raising a child that has no respect for rules because he'll see the rules as blatantly unjust. So work out some sort of compromise. Let him log on and then, together, look around YouTube periodically and look at his favorites and subscriptions. He probably also has accounts on MySpace and Facebook, and maybe even Answerbag. Do the same there, too.
  • I'm guessing you still own the computer your son uses, and anything on that computer technically belongs to you, so you can do what you want with it. A less obvious path of action and probably the easiest is to simply look at the "Browser History", this will give you a list of the videos they've watched and other internet activity, unless they are smart enough to delete that. If you use FireFox simply open a browser window and hit Ctrl+Shift+H. Mine goes all the way back to May and lists every site I've visited. Before you do something like this, understand your son is discovering his own path at that age, it won't be long before he's old enough to move out and do things without your permission. So how you handle this will shape how your son treats you in the future. I would say, now is the time to start giving him a bit more space and with that space more responsibility. You can use a more diplomatic approach to this situation. If it is again, YOUR computer. Make this fact known to your son and state, If he wants to keep stuff from you, it's about time he starts earning money to buy his own computer. Because you have a right to know how and what your computer is being used for. Another point is that YouTube is a place where teenagers tend to vent and use profanity that they would never speak aloud in front of their parents, so I would suspect this might be what he's been doing. Another more controvercial options is to in stall a "key logger" without your son knowing, the next time they type in their password, you will have it. I don't fully suggest doing this unless you have evidence that your son is doing some that may harm himself or others. But you can tell your son that there are way of finding out without him telling you and you would prefer you hear from him what's he's been up to so you can talk about it. I wish you luck, it's a double edged sword so I hope you make the right decision. Chances are whatever he's doing he's going to find a way to do it with or without your permission, so make sure it's something really serious before you make too much more fuss over it.
  • I'm gonna get lots of DR's for this, but your son is in an age when independence starts becoming important. Just as he doesn't want his mum listening to all his conversations, he wouldn't want you reading his messages and having his passwords. Just because you have the right to do something doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. You could be forcing your son to be more distant to you and to treat you as the enemy, that he has to "protect himself" from you. Unless you have any particular reason to suspect he's doing something bad or dangerous, it may be better to leave him a certain amount of privacy. I can tell you that if, at 14, my mum started looking through my messages I'd hate her for it.
  • You want to be VERY careful here. If he ISN'T doing anything wrong, he will resent this intrusion into his privacy, and will remember it. He could start to feel like he isn't loved and trusted. And grow to resent YOU. Consider this a cautionary tale. I have a friend who's parents constantly spied on her, snooped into her life, and everything else. She had NO privacy with them, and grew to feel that she wasn't trusted. She HATES them, completely and utterly now. She left home at 17, and cut them out of her life completely. She's never talked to them since she left. She has married and had a child since then, and the parents have never met either her husband or their granddaughter. They were not even invited to her wedding. She says that her parents do not exist in her life, and she looks forward to the day they die, so she can dance on their graves, then hire a drunk to piss on them. I've begged her to reconcile, but she refuses. I believe that the gulf between them is too wide, too deep, and can never be bridged. Tread lightly in this, and be careful. You do have a right to know some things, but if you push it too far, well, in 3 years you could easily find yourself in a similar position to my friend. And I can imagine that it must be painful for a parent that happens to.
  • I believe you're just being a mom; I'm 16 and my mom has my passwords to every site I'm on and she is real strict. Make sure also that if he has a myspace or anything like that his setting is set to private so only friend can view his page. Also get yourself educated on these sites.
  • You are the adult, he/she is the child. No password. no Youtube. This is just another example of why my wife calls the internet the devil. It creates another problem for parents. This will not stop your chid from using another computer somewhere else, but at least you will know that he is clean at home. Break this refusal now, or you are in for more trouble from you child now and in the future.
  • You're his parent, not his buddy. I'm under the assumption that you're looking out for his best interest and not just being nosy. If that's the case, if he doesn't want to give up the passwords, take the computer away until he does. It's that simple. Also, install some type of key-logger and parental controls so you can control what he's accessing.
  • 18 is the magic number. Until your child reaches 18, you have every right to make sure your child is not using the computer for other purposes for what it was intended. Checking his Youtube account is well within reason. Not giving you his password can mean a big red flag to possible sites he should not be visiting. Give him/her one more chance to give up his password. If this does not happen, grounding is in order. Respect and trust must be earned. If your child is trustworthy, then your child should give you the respect of checking his Youtube account. I suspect there is something going on that your child does not want you to know.
  • A 14 year old does not have the right to tell you that you can't have his password. As a parent, you have the right to not allow him on the computer. Period.
  • this is why i dont tell my dad about sites i go on.
  • Really? It's freakin' youtube. Nothing is on there. It's self monitored. And anything that can be of..."questionable" content is censored so that no junk is seen. Youtube is so not something to worry about. Helicopter parenting. FYI.
  • Do you also think you have the right to listen to every single one of his conversations with his friends? Control the girls he dances with at discos, run his life? If you have raised him to be a honest, moral boy you just have to learn to trust him.
  • You pay for the internet, you get his passwords. Take away his internet.
  • As a responsible parent in this day and age, you should be able to have access to all your child's internet activity. No I don't like it either...but you and I all know some of the horror stories. It is your duty to have protection take precendence here. He might not like YOU for a while....but he'll still love you and he will get over it.
  • take the whole friggin computer
  • if you know his youtube name, just look up his channel. you can see what he's posting. i think even though he is a child, he has a right to privacy. if you don't like ot, take away the computer or his internet. but don't take away his freedom. he's a kid; if you're too strict & try to oppress everything he does, he'll only get wilder & more rebellious.
  • You don't need to "handle" you 14 year old. It's your computer, right? Just take it away from him. Lock it up where he can't get to it. Tell him why. Remember who is in control and who is the boss. Be a parent, not a whimp. Be kind. Be joyful. Be safe. Sincerely, Uncle Floyd
  • I'm an older guy who by choice has never been a parent, but I find the question somewhat disturbing. In rerospect, I don't think that at 14 I was smart enough to make serious decisions for myself. Somewhere in my teen years I was mouthing off to my mom, and with one quick and unexpected smack my dad set me straight. Don't take me wrong on that statement. I don't believe in child abuse, but it would be good if the younger generation tried to learn from their elders rather than thinking they already have the answers. You have the right to supervise your kids while they are young, and I suggest you exercise that right.

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