ANSWERS: 27
  • I agree. Understanding your past and why you are the way you are helps you to deal with your problems and take responsibility for your life. But in the end, you are the one responsible for your life no matter what kind of parents you had.
  • agree completely put people will place blame
  • Yes...mostly. For some it's a gradual process of taking over the reins of one's life, for others it may be a more dramatic realization. And some never seem to realize this. There are some extreme cases where someone may never be able to move past his or her past...but I believe everyone should try.
  • I agree! :)
  • Yes. There comes a time when the "blame game" no longer works. Adolescents tend to blame everyone else for their real or perceived problems and 'unhappiness'. I don't know when the idea that everyone was intended to be ecstatically happy all the time by 'divine decree' came into our culture, but many seem to think it is their right, simply for getting born. And if they are not happy, it is somebody's fault,...anybody's but their own.
  • I believe you are absolutely and infactically correct!
  • I agree with that, I also think there comes a moment of clarity when you realize your exactly like them; the harder you fight it, the more like them you become.
  • I think there are extreme cases where you have been so damaged by your parents that the ability to grow into the person you would perhaps like to be has been taken away from you. Your parents actions/treatment/decisions do shape you as a person (good and bad) and so really you are what you are in many respects, because of them. I do think though, that for the average person - if you don't like who or what you are, and you recognise that fact in yourself, then it is up to you and you alone to work on yourself and change who you are. Nobody else can stop you, or do it for you.
  • I agree !
  • Yes you have to take responsibility for your own life, of course you do. But you can also blame your parents for what they are to blame for.
  • Yes, I agree that adults need to take responsibility for their own actions. This business of saying I can't help it because my parents mistreated me is ridiculous.
  • Absolutely agree. If you don't do that you'll remain bitter/ negative/ helpless - a prisoner of the past. We all have the power create ourselves and overcome bad things that happened in the past.
  • I absolutely agree to a point. If everything you underwent as a child as a consequence of child rearing is nowadays considered wrong, then pretty much all that you are really shouldn't be. You're a walking contradiction. What next, therapy? What if you can't afford it or have no insurance? You spend the rest of your life as a square peg trying to fit into a round society. No, continuing to blame your parents does not help your problems. It just serves to produce ugly echoes in your mind.
  • To my mind we should be gradually taking control and responsibility as we grow. With my two (almost) grown up children I have given them control of aspects of their life as they have seemed to be ready - gradually handing over the reigns for them to steer their own course. If they blame me for becoming rational, balanced individuals with a sense of right and wrong, understanding compassion and that for every action there is a consequence - well, then I am quite proud to take the blame ;0)
  • 110% AGREE. I'm sick of the blame game. Me & my two sisters had the same childhood. One is a crack head who blames all her problems on her "childhood", the other is addicted to pills. Hell, if I went out & shot a 100 people, I don't think the judge would accept the fact that my childhood was shit as an excuse& I don't accept theirs
  • I agree. We are 50% what our parnents made us and 50% what we make ourselves. They can do bad things to us, but there must come a point where we say: enough. I will break this pattern.
  • Agree! But there's never any denying the "emotional" and psychological scars.
  • Agree,,,100%..After 18 you have the right to make your own choices.
  • I am in total agreement with your proposition. Those who fail to take the responsibility of their own lives go astray or perish.
  • I most hold heartedly agree with that statement.
  • I agree for those who blame their parents but I have never done that. I have nothing to blame them for. I'm happy with the person that I am.
  • I agree.
  • Depending on how your parents treat you and raise you, it can determine the person you are in the future, Of course as an adult you are responsible to know right from wrong but being raised by parents that think rasism and discrimination is not a bad thing, it may be a different matter. But over all yes i agree.
  • Well I don't think it's ever a good idea to blame your parents for who you are, even if you're 5 years old. 5-year-olds aren't known for their wisdom on this topic, so they do it anyway. But, clearly it takes time -- years typically -- for a human to develop to the point where they can authentically hold themselves responsible for becoming who they are. The thing I would argue with is something you haven't actually said, but is implied in the background: "blame" and "responsibility" aren't the same thing. Nobody can really be "held responsible", in a strict interpretation of the word. Why? Because responsibility is a *chosen* state. To be responsible is to consider yourself to be the buck-stops-here causal force in the matter... by its very nature, that state must be chosen. Nobody can thrust it upon you, no external group or entity or rule of law can "make you responsible". Responsibility is an act of creative initiative. It's stepping forward to say "I will be the causal agent here". It's an expression of freedom and power. Someone who is "made responsible" by an external force is a victim, and victims are never responsible. So nobody "must take responsibility" for their life. Doing so is a privilege, and it's a powerful thing to do, but nobody must do it. From a strictly ethical standpoint, it's fine to blame and blame and blame until you hit the grave -- in a sense, we're all right about our parents -- we're all products of our past and environment, the causal chains are infinitely complex and go back to the beginning of time. We're all victims. However, to live that way is profoundly unsatisfying and incomplete. To mature and come home to true self, one must grapple with this matter until they see with clarity... "oh... the only way to untangle this mess is to step up and hold myself responsible for all of it!". That's what growing up is, to me.
  • Disagree. You can only take responsibility for your actions. You are not responsible for that which you were subjected to when you were a child. Whether you can forgive/forget is an individual thing..depends on how egregious your experiences were. We all do the best we can..but I take no responsbility for my mother's parenting style just as I don't expect my kid to take responsibility for my parenting style! :)
  • I agree. To blame parents, regardless or whether or not they are at 'fault' is to bind yourself more thoroughly to whatever shortcoming you are blaming them for. If you're over eighteen it's YOUR shortcoming now and you're the only one who can do anything about it.
  • 8-20-2017 [Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.] But you say a child can train up himself at some point. Either God made a mistake, or you did. Which is it?

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