by gone on February 15th, 2007

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What is the best advice you've ever heard about marriage?

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  • by Anonymous on February 17th, 2007

    Anonymous

    Well, this is a huge topic. OK, here are my best thoughts off the top of my head from what I know and have learned and read:

    1. The quality of your marriage depends on the extent to which it is built on a solid friendship and how well it meets the needs of BOTH people.

    2. If you put your marriage into a win-lose situation, it will be a lose-lose situation. Learn to argue and fight so there is no loser!

    3. You'll get back what you give out. When you give out better, you will get back better!

    4. Forget the crap about who is right or wrong. The main question is this: Is what you're doing working or not working? If is is not working, then change it or talk about ways to change it.

    5. Find your own ways that work in your marriage to make both people happy. It's different for everyone. Just be sure to realize when it's not working. Then work to fix it.

    6. This is VERY important: "Falling in love" is not the same thing as "being in love!!" Being in love takes alot more work. And Staying in love takes even more work!

    7. You will not solve your problems by trying to change your partner. Change how you work and act and talk with each other, and that is how you will most likely come to a good resolution.

    8. Smile often and forgive and if at all possible, don't go to bed angry with things all up in the air.

    9. Respect and treat your partner always, as you would want them to respect and treat you.

    10. Always communicate. Never stop. And remember that actions speak alot louder than words.

    No magic answers. Just some thoughts and words of wisdom I have heard and read and also experienced.

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  • by Anonymous on February 15th, 2007

    Anonymous

    Keep your conversations about each other to yourselves. this will develop into a strong bond and trusting relationship.

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  • by Valparaiso on February 15th, 2007

    Valparaiso

    Get pre-marital counciling.

    It has a huge success rate in increasing the likelyhood of a successful marriage. Especially if your councilor is good.

    Get on the same page on Money, Kids, Religion and Inlaws. Pre-marital counciling should help you do this.

    Oh and don't live with your partner before marriage. Statistically people who wait to live together til marriage are 80% more likely to have a successful marriage.

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  • by -Ben 10- on February 15th, 2007

    -Ben 10-

    BE TOGETHER FOR HUNDRED YEARS

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  • by Lazlow on February 17th, 2007

    Lazlow

    Probably live together first. I also agree with that one the most cause you don't want to move in with someone after marriage and find out all the little things you never noticed before drive you nuts.

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  • by anonymous on February 15th, 2007

    anonymous

    Dont do it until you are positve that you are ready.

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  • by GingerL on February 15th, 2007

    GingerL

    Don't dredge up old arguments. Let them die.

    Or you can do like I did, marry a real jerk, leave him, then marry a really nice guy.

    No matter what the nice guy (or gal) does, he will always be WAAAAY ahead of the last one. You can always think to yourself, "Man, that was really annoying, but at least he doesn't wet the bed." Or, "At least he doesn't hit me for stopping at the grocery store on the way home from work."

    That way you will always love and appreciate your mate.

    Better yet, pick a good mate to begin with. If you have ANY doubts, don't do it.

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  • by Chairman of the Board on February 15th, 2007

    Chairman of the Board

    Live together. Have sex.

    There are more levels of compatibility than those that come at face value. It takes a lot to make things work.

    Overall: Make sure you are not being emotionally abused. Emotional abuse is easy to overlook in the beginning, but it will eat at you as time goes on.

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  • by Esteban-- Smart ass Pumpkin on February 25th, 2007

    Esteban-- Smart ass Pumpkin

    stop answering "braveheart reject" has the best most definative answer.

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  • by lizizhere on February 25th, 2007

    lizizhere

    The way I'm feeling right now I think I would have to go with the best advice that was given to me.........DON'T DO IT!!!!!

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  • by RockAngel on February 17th, 2007

    RockAngel

    Never talk behind each others back
    Never tell family or friends what faults each has
    If you can't agree, compromise
    Never take each other for granted
    Men, Keep the flowers and the I love you's coming
    Women, Love him when he leasts expects it
    Men, say yes dear and take the trash out
    Women, pamper your man when he is tired

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  • by Mrs.Dufresne on February 17th, 2007

    Mrs.Dufresne

    Respect, appreciation, compassion, communication and laughter. If you can master all of these, then you've got it. Oh, and lust doesn't hurt either. :p

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  • by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on February 17th, 2007

    Sheriff Raff  -Answerhag

    don't expect anything from your partner.. keep your expectations low and you will never be disappointed

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  • by Patti jo on February 17th, 2007

    Patti jo

    You can't expect it to just work
    You have to work at it
    Everyday in Everyway

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  • by singwell-is off researching a lot on February 17th, 2007

    singwell-is off researching a lot

    Marriage is an honourable institution, but who wants to live in an institution. LOLOL
    Seriously, you can't beat it for fulfilling so many of life's basic needs (love, care, sex, friendship, stability, trust etc) and even though I joke about it, I have been married for 27 years this year, and am still in love and enjoying the ride....:-)

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  • by lizizhere on February 17th, 2007

    lizizhere

    Keep the mystery alive, never let them know everything about you. Treat them as you would like to be treated & if that don't work & you don't get respect for it keep trying. Don't expect it to be like a ferry tale marriage. Try not to take your partner for granted we are never promised tom. with them. And try not to go to bed angry.

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  • by This Daley has a new bundle of joy on February 17th, 2007

    This Daley has a new  bundle of joy

    Begin as you mean to go on.

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  • by Patti jo on February 15th, 2007

    Patti jo

    Communicate and talk things through
    Take time to know them and respect them with all your heart -

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