ANSWERS: 14
  • Your parents are ignorant and fucked up. Yes they were bad parents. Do not take after them.
  • So are you trying to justify them beating you?
  • They may have done the best they knew how but unfortunately, beating children is a bad thing for parents to do
  • I wouldn't say bad parents exactly, my word choice would be they were bad at parenting-not they they were bad people. Perhaps they had horrid things done to them as well. My mother used to hit, slap, shake, yell, and swear at me, she is not a good parent, but a good person who was hurt very badly growing up. I am not stating the abuse is ok, b/c no abuse is ok. I'm sorry you went through that.
  • Short answer, yes they were bad parents. (please keep reading)That does not mean they were bad people, they were bad parents. How does beating their children make them bad parents? Children who are physically, emotionally or mentally harmed by their parents have long term problems. The problems come up in many different ways and at unpredictable times often creating a situation that the child cannot succeed or is driven to succeed at all costs. Parents are charged with the responsibility of creating a whole (undamaged), person as prepared for the world as possible. Damaging children creates damaged adults = bad parents.
  • I don't subscribe to "beating" kids. I never had to. My voice, the expression on my face and my general demeanor were more than sufficient to bring about the desired results. Beatings are the "quick fix" to people who do not know how to control their anger and pursue better methods. Anyway, the past is passed insofar as your parents. Tell me, how did you turn out? +5
  • Yes, bad parents but maybe also people who didn't know any better. Whatever you do, if you have kids of your own, don't beat them. Stop the cycle of abuse with yourself.
  • Some let their kids rule them, and some over discipline their kids. Sorry to say, I was the latter. Here is the truth of the matter: Colossians 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Proverbs 29:17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. Finding the middle ground isn't easy for any parent.
    • Crazychick
      Why do people keep bringing religion into this?
  • I don't think that makes them bad parents per se, you can't blame them because they probably grew up in a society where beating was the norm...just like in out society today, beating is bad! Parents are just human beings and yours probably had some anger management issues that should have been resolved. I think that's what spanking is: you get mad at the child, a surge of anger and *slap!*
  • i WAS SERIOUSLY ABUSED BY MY FATHER AS A CHILD KICK IN THE ASS RAPE and many other mental tortunes along with my slibings and my mom who he beat brutally almost each day for NO REASON. HOWEVER, ONCE WE LEFT HIM AND LIVED WITH MY GRANDMOTHER WHO WAS NEVER TOLD OF THE SERIOUS ABUSE, SHE ISSUED SPANKINGS WHENVER WE WERE DISOBENDIENT AND SHE STOOD FOR NO NONSENSE OF BEING BAD AT SCHOOL, SAYING FRESH THINGS TO ADULTS AND ALL OF US APPRECIATE HER FIRM BUT SWEET WAYS WHEN SHE NEED TO BE. I KNOW THE DIFFRENCE BETWEEN ABUSE & A REPRIDMAND. SHE GAVE ME WISDOM BUT TOUGH LOVE NOT ABUSE AND I DID THE SAME TO MY KIDS AND THEY TURN OUT VERY CLOSE TO PERFECT ESPECIALLY MY YOUNGEST.
  • I feel for you. I really can relate to what you're going through. I'm much older than you but I can relate because my parents beat me as well. I am one of 3 girls 9in the middle0. and not a :"planned" pregnancy as my mother so un-delicately told me once I was an adult. My parents were brutal in every way. They beat me atleast twice a week, deprived me of food, cut up all of my clothes (because my father felt it was a good punishment for swapping clothes with my friends) and always,always demonstrated to me that I was not even a thought but a BOTHER. I'm all grown up now, married and a mother. I have emotional scars and permanent spinal issues as well but (and this is big), I have my own family now. I have had to go for counseling for support to help me :"accept that I did nothing wrong and that they were/are the people who were/are in need of serious help. Today, they could very possibly be tossed in jail and I would be placed in a foster home. I won't lie and say it is easy because it's not. Every time something bad occurs in my life, I find myself weeping over a particular time that my father ripped me down from my top bunk bed where I in turn fell on my back.(hence chronic back issues. Yes, I'm bitter, I'm angry and I have self esteem issues but I am trying to work through them and every day that I get through, I win. I'm hoping that anyone that has been abused and neglected by their parents can find some sort of peace and hope to get them through life and be whole. There is always hope and with the help of a trusted love one and counseling, you can atleast find some peace. On a spiritual note: I know that the God that I love will get me through this and I also believe that it's not about what they did and didn't do to me, it's more about what I do now and in the future that will make my life better. They were horrible parent's and they have to live with that, even thugh they will proclaim that they were great . The truth is, they should serve time for what they did. I hope you get help and support, it wil get you thruogh this. peace : )
  • There is no excuse for beating a child. There is no rationalizing and/or justifying of it. I was hit and fairly often by both parents and all it did was create a resentment that will always be with me. HItting,slapping,and also verbal abuse makes the child feel not only helpless (nowhere to go or run to) but also defeated and worthless which translates to:zero self esteem. Bottom line is abuse is and can be permanent damage to a child's life. Imagine growing up in an environment and never knowing when you will be hit or put down or told that you are worthless. Children need love. No question they need boundaries but boundaries set with reasonable consequences and not consequenses that involve violence. HOw can any parent expect their child/children to love and respect them when the parent's behavior is that of violence. This will gain FEAR. Instill fear=gain control. I never mentioned love. If a parent chooses the route of violence/abuse they will gain fear not love. So, that said a loving hand, a set of boundaries, consequences ie:take the phone away, take privelages away, any number of activities that you know will send the message :"YOur behavior is unacceptable and now tis will be your consequence" If you give love in a manner in which is heartfelt and still setting an example of respect for all , I feel that kids will respond in a postive way. NOw, ofcourse a wham bam slap is the :"quick fix" but remember when you hit a child they never/ever forget it. Oh you will get the wuick fix but you'll also get the long long term resentment. That's my 2 cents. Best of luck to all of you out there. Growing up with abusive parents is the absolute worst and I have been there.
  • Showing love is not and never has been limited to any point in time. There are no excuses for abusing a child, not 100 years ago, not today, not tomorrow... There is always a way to discipline without abuse.
  • How seriously did they "beat" you? My parents spanked me a lot, and some call that "beating" although I didn't see it as abuse myself.

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