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...(cont)I want him back so bad and at least before there was hope that we might get back together but now he doesn't think he could ever be with me. On top of that my virginity was always sacred to me I am almost 21, and some how making out turned into sex when those weren't my intentions at all. This guy just stuck himself in me without warning and me being out of my mind drunk(blacking out) didn't stop him. I can't stop crying I'm miserable and don't know what to do.
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It sounds like you messed up terribly. People expect certain things in relationships, sometimes they may even be a bit unrealistic. I don't know where he stands or if he has his head straight but regardless, if you don't fit the image of what he wants in a partner, there really isn't much you can do. It sounds like friends is the best you can do with him. Take a good look at yourself and consider whether you feel you are a good candidate for a meaningful, trusting relationship or not. You may have lost your chance with him but another will come along.
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