I would make changes based on the guidance of heavenly father and not my own will.

Absolutely nothing. Before I change anything I want to know why it is the way it is first. A leader always has information available to him/her that is not readily available to the rank and file.

There is NO way that this would happen to me as I've become very vocal in my scorn for any gods.

Yes. I would immediately demote myself and find someone else actually WANTS to go into full time ministry. (The fool! The fool!)

Well I don't do church. So that's what I'd do. I'd undo church.

Well this question is just too delicious to let pass by without this - and I've thought about this for a LONG time: What if I were the "Mope" (that is, Mormon Pope - a la Stephen Colbert) After all Whew you DID post this in the Mormonism Section and while I'm not Mormon, I AM a Mormon Studies Scholar, I have some suggestions for the guy - and I'm going pretend like I'm that guy for the sake of discussion - who would assume the LDS President's "Mope" role: 1) Proclaim "Camelot II" and open up the Church Archives to ALL Scholars not just those who agree to write "faithful" Mormon History. 2) Mission the Church Education System with publishing TRUTHFUL Mormon History rather than the white washed, spin doctored "Faithful" Mormon History that they currently publish. 3) I would merge with the RLDS and as a result take the following actions: * Declare Joseph Smith a remarkable man and charismatic leader but not a Prophet of God. * Decanonize "The Pearl of Great Price" and admit that the papyri that the "Book of Abraham" was translated from are nothing more than copies of the "Egyptian Book of Breathings" that Joseph Smith used to retain leadership of the Early Saints and keep the movement going. In other words, he lied and deceived for what he THOUGHT was a worthy cause. Oops! * Decanonize both the LDS and RLDS versions of "Doctrine and Covenants" and reclassify them as historical records useful for better understanding Joseph Smith and the Early Church but nothing more than that. * Declare the Holy Bible as the ultimate authority for the LDS Church and encourage members to use Modern Translations rather the inaccurate and antiquated 1611 King James Version of the Bible. * Declare "The Book of Mormon" to be a fascinating work of 19th Century Fiction akin to, say "Pilgrim's Progress" but not real history. This, of course, would decanonize it by implication. * Declare Baptism for the Dead to be unBiblical and is a colossal waste of time because it's based on a corrupt interpretation of Paul's tongue-in cheek parenthetical clause contained in I Corinthians 15:29. * Declare the Aaron and Melchizedek Priesthoods unBiblical and all present and past Endowments null and void in accordance with the Book of Hebrews (Chapters 5-7 in particular). Release all Endowed LDS from their Temple Oaths and Vows and encourage them to share their Temple experiences with the public so that the silly rumors and speculations are dealt with once and for all. Oh, and whoever wishes to can feel free to remove their Temple Garments. * Shut down the LDS Temple system since it was initiated solely to cover up Joseph Smith's secret Polygamous Marriages as well as a means of injecting Masonic teachings into Mormonism. It was born out of corruption and needs to go! * Convert the Temples to PUBLIC Church meeting halls and wedding chapels. Insist that EVERYONE is welcome at LDS Weddings regardless of sect, race, or creed. ALL are worthy! * Apologize to people of Color for the LDS Doctrine of, "The Curse of Cain" and state that the racist passages in the Book of Mormon are reflections of 19th Century racist based Theology in general and the expansion of the "Curse of Cain" doctrine was due to Brigham Young's personal racism in particular. * Make Tithing, monthly Fasts and Fast Offerings voluntary. * Reverse all past Excommunication and Dis-Fellowhship actions and apologize to all who suffered under this system. * Restore the New Testament Charismata (Spiritual Gifts) to the LDS Church making it Pentecostal as it originally was. * Encourage the membership to develop forms of "Loyal Opposition" and listen, really listen to what they have to say. 4) Mission the General Authority with realigning LDS Theology with Biblical Christian Theology while still retaining the aspects of the legacy LDS Church that were Biblical, positive, and good quality distinctives. 5) Invite Biblical Christian Theologians to aid and assist the GA with #3. 6) Remind LDS Missionaries and parents of Missionaries that such service should be completely voluntary and that should be NO stigma for not serving a mission. I would also encourage any active Missionaries who felt like they were pressured or coerced into going on a Mission to return home - at Church expense. 7) Apologize to ExMormons and encourage them to try the "New, Improved and Biblically based" Mormonism. 8) Apologize to the LDS world (main SLC and splinter groups alike) for the "false revelation" of Polygamy and the harmful fall out that has ensued since. 9) Lobby all Southwest State Attorney Generals - especially the Utah State Attorney General, who's Mormon BTW - to actively begin prosecuting Polygamists within their states. 10) Mission the Relief Society with developing the means and methods of helping the women and children who want to escape from Polygamist Communities to do so WITH LDS Church support - including financial support for a set period of time. 11) Liquidate Church holdings in non-religious assets to back fill for reduced revenues due to a significantly smaller membership and tithing base. Consolidate Ward Halls to accommodate the smaller attendance base and sell extraneous Ward Halls. I'm sure that I'm forgetting a bunch but that's a pretty good start I would say. And if I could somehow manage to dodge all the Danite Assassination attempts I might even live to see all this fulfilled! And through these changes I believe that we will see the TRUE Biblical Restoration of the LDS Church finally begin!

My clothes.

let preists marry, stop the bullshit in regards to homosexuality being wrong and... then leave :D