I think it's a mistake to get attached to some notion of how you should be and then try to pursue that image or idea. Part of the problem is that any idea of how you should be is going to be a kind of "prison": the mind gets tangled up in self-manipulation and self-judgment, constantly trying to correct behavior, attitudes, and feelings in order to make them fit your idea of assertive (or loving, or wise, or whatever your favorite ideal is). This produces very unnatural results, and I never have found it to be satisfying. However, it CAN be valuable to turn these kinds of questions upside down and make them into self-awareness exercises. The way to do that is to ask "what's the opposite of assertive?", and then start paying attention to your own behavior, thoughts, and feelings, and noticing when that comes up. So, let's say that you decide that the opposite of assertive is "timid" -- you can make a useful awareness practice out of trying to notice where you're being timid in your life: where you're letting other people run things to your dissatisfaction, where you're failing to take initiative because of fear, etc. This kind of exercise works because it raises awareness, which is the opposite of what happens when you try to pursue some concept of a fixed "goal" for how you should be.

I like to get what I want!!!

I don't know... what do you think?

If it's something I really want, I can be very assertive.

very flexable

I'm very decisive so I suppose being assertive is part of that. If I have a definite opinion I express it. If I don't, I say so. If I'm not sure or I don't know I say that too! :) ((hugs))