It is not humanly possible to tell from the information you have provided. It is possible that he is cheating, but nobody here will be able to do anything more *wildly guess*. Please could you provide more information? I don't think your relationship sounds very positive though. He is either cheating, or/and you don't trust him. (Trust is a requirement in every relationship.) There also seems to be some big communication issues.

I cannot say for sure, obviously, but this behaviour is certainly suspicious. Anytime someone gets defensive in a relationship, it means that there is something that they don't want you to know. The comment about needing space is a clue that he doesn't feel as close to you as he once did. He may just be needing some private time, but coupled with the phone issue, it means that you should have a long honest talk about the whole relationship very soon. BTW, how do you know that the phone number he has been dialing belongs to a girl? -- reply to anonymous: Wow! This guy is more than disrespectful to you, he's downright hostile. It's pretty obvious to me that he doesn't love you anymore, if he ever did. He's just using you - for the bank account, the cell phone and maybe for sex, although it seems that he can get that elsewhere as well. You are better off without him; he needs to do a lot of growing up and he's the only one who can do that for himself, you can't do it for him. He's like Peter Pan - don't be his Wendy or you'll be trapped into mothering him forever. You are a very clear-headed young lady and you deserve better than a boyfriend who cheats on you then blames you for invading 'his shit' (I assume this means his privacy) when you find out that he's being unfaithful; the best defence is a good offence and all that. He has already moved on and is perfectly happy to enjoy the advantages of you still being attached to him, emotionally, financially, and every other way. Kick him to the curb, my dear and don't look back. This relationship is over. It will hurt more than you have ever hurt but you will come out of it stronger and better able to identify a loser before you get involved with another one in the future. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but this has happened to just about every other woman out there at least once in her life and we have all come out of it, a little bruised, but much wiser. Keep us in the loop and let us know how things turn out. --- 2006-02-11 I just read your latest comment. I don't think that his reply to your texting him is an indication that 'he cares', so much as an indication that he is not ready to let you go. But that is not an proof of love, it's just proof that he is still getting something from the relationship. What that something is could be a sense of control or just a convenient sex partner. The hostility he has already shown you, especially calling you an ignorant moron, is more proof of lack of love than a text message , which doesn't mention love, is proof of love. He is still being hostile or angry with you. He is the one who messed up and he hasn't even apologised, much less tried to heal the relationship. You two need to talk face to face, not over text messages. You seem to be waiting for him to tell you that 'It's over'; don't wait for him, do it yourself. Don't avoid it and hope that things will go back to what they used to be; it's too late for that. You must be the one to declare the relationship over because he is too cowardly to do it himself. Be brave, girl; take the power in your own hands. Yes it will hurt and yes you will cry an ocean of tears, but he has already damaged your love in a way that cannot be repaired. In the end you will feel better for having done it yourself. This happened to me with my first husband; he wanted me to hang around while he waited to see 'how it would turn out.' Well, after many months, I got tired of waiting for him to decide who he wanted to be with and I told him that I had made the decision for him - I didn't want someone who couldn't look the facts in the face and who couldn't admit that he had messed up and who was waiting for some 'sign' of what he should do. Making your own decisions is one of the characteristics of an adult. You mature by making them and living with the results. He hasn't reached that point yet because he can't make the difficult decisions, only the easy ones, like taking risks and cheating. He isn't the only fellow around - you will meet many more in your life and most of them will be better men that this 'man-child' who can't treat a woman with the respect she deserves. -- 2007-02-13 I just read your most recent update. It really does sound like he's trying to break up with you, but he can't quite do it right. A part of him wants to keep you hanging on in case he wants you again later, but for now he has no use for you. That could explain the obvious hostility with which he is treating you. My first advice is to close the joint bank account. If he is on drugs, he will just use it to feed his habit. That will be the easy bit. The hard bit will be to accept that you can't 'rescue' him from anything that he is doing - he is not willing to stop what he's doing, especially since he hangs out with friends who are doing just exactly what he's doing. He doesn't want to be rescued and you will just be wasting your time and your love. His stepdad seems to be trying to get him to behave with decency, but he isn't interested. I know that you have been with him for awhile, but that is no reason to stay with someone who doesn't want you. The time you spent with him was sweet, but, sad to say, that time is over now. He has moved on to a more selfish place and you should actually be glad that you didn't follow him there - or else you might be caught up with the drugs, as well, and maybe even worse things. This is the time to look after yourself; you need it because you have had a crisis in your life and you need to make some big decisions. Take time to grieve for the end of the relationship; don't try to stop the tears or get over it too quickly. It was a big part of your life and you have to heal before you can move on. Let your friends and family help. I'm sure that they are feeling your pain and wishing they could help you - let them help. I'm sending big waves of empathy to you because I have been through a few break-ups. Believe me, the first is usually the worst, so the hardest part is over now, even though it doesn't seem like it. That saying you quoted sounds good, but don't live your whole life by it - it's a simplistic explanation for a complex life crisis. A big part of how your life turns out depends on decisions that you make for yourself, not on waiting for other people to make them. You sound mature enough to accept that life throws you some heartbreaks; how you react to them, whether you hang onto a dead love or whether you move ahead, that's up to you. I am sure that with this door closing, you will find another door opening. You will be in my thoughts today. When I get home from work, I hope to see that you have read this. Please let me know if it helped.

The way you've described it, i would say there's a good chance. But then again, this is a 50/50 situation. I think you need to decide whether he's worth the doubt, hassle & worry. Is he making you feel bad more then making you feel good, which is the opposite of what a good boyfriend does?

Drop him. I hope by now that you have dropped him. Drop the telephone arrangement too. Let us know what you've done in the past month.