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by xo.Gannicus.xo on February 1st, 2007

xo.Gannicus.xo

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Can having a threesome be dangerous to a relationship? I'm scared that having a threesome is just an excuse to have sex with this girl that we are friends with.

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Answers. 9 helpful answers below.

  • by manda on August 14th, 2007

    manda

    Having a threesome when being in a relationship is definitely not healthy at all. Just makes you realise that if he/she wants to be interacting in the siutation he/she is not really interested in having a serious relationship.
    Relationships were made to be just one man and one woman not three people. So think carefully before making the decision whether or not to having a threesome. As you could regret it for the rest of your life

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  • by Patti jo on July 14th, 2007

    Patti jo

    If you have to ask this question , then YES

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  • by Uncle Lizard on January 19th, 2008

    Uncle Lizard

    listen sweet i male and have a wife who i been with for years we bin child hood sweethearts. we have had 3somes before but with other guys(no male contact) and she does enjoy it. she would now like to try another girl no complaints here of course finding another woman a different matter. if you think it may just be to sleep with this girl then dont do it. if you would like to try it make sure your relationship strong. and if you just want to have sex with another woman then let him watch not join in.

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  • by Zebulon on July 14th, 2007

    Zebulon

    If you're uncomfortable at all, dont do it. You both should be totally comfortable with each other and with the third party.

    As far as sexual diseases and other dangers, so long as you're careful and safe, as you would be with any sexual partner, and so long as you trust the third party, you should be just fine.


    And the first answer is a tad narrowminded as far as I'm concerned. Just because your husband/boyfriend wants to have a threesome with you and another girl doesn't mean that he's wanting to include his sister, mother, grocery clerk and secretary.

    Have a little sense.

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  • by Ankhorite on March 17th, 2007

    Ankhorite

    Yes, it's dangerous.

    It's likely to ruin your friendship with "this girl" (your friendship with her and your partner's friendship with her; and her friendship with either or both of you).

    It devalues "this girl." She deserves to have a whole partner all to herself, not half of yours. YOU deserve a whole partner to yourself, too -- so this devalues you also.

    It devalues "this girl" further by using her as a living sex toy to spice up your relationship. If you two want spice or change, go buy massage lotion or something. Don't inflict your sexual curiosity, or sexual boredom, on this woman.

    Adding a third person doubles your risk of catching a sexual disease, because it doubles your own number of current partners.

    Finally, I think playing along with this desire to be unfaithful with you right there and watching starts a line of rationalization for your partner that may lead to them deciding it's okay, or even "better for the relationship," to be physically unfaithful when you aren't there, and aren't watching.

    You are right to be scared. Many people fantasize about women they see, women they know, their partner's relatives or friends, their kids' teachers, and that's okay. That's fantasy. But deciding to get your partner to help you wheedle sex out of another woman... that's not okay.

    Finally, who's next? Your sister? Your mother? Some cashier at the grocery store or teller at the bank? A hired sex surrogate (prostitute)?

    That's my opinion, and others may disagree.

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  • by julie_johnson on March 16th, 2007

    julie_johnson

    You should never have a threesome, if either of you have any doubts at all. Most times it never turns out as good as the fantasy and is best left as one. If you feel the need to involve other people, then it means you need to make more effort with each other. There are other exciting ways of making things interesting, without involving a third party.

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  • by -ashley- on February 16th, 2007

    -ashley-

    Yes it can be. Unless you feel strongly that it will not harm your marriage, you should not do it. Hope that helps!

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  • by Funfunfun on September 6th, 2009

    Funfunfun

    What it takes is boundaries. You have to be ready for the unexpected, if you think he won't fuck her, he might, if u think she wont suck him, she will, so have the rules set before for all parties. The best is for the guy to watch the two girls and only touch the girl he's dating, and tell the third party that too. And only having her as a play toy, don't be friends and try to hang out casually, awkward.... Friends are friends, business is business, sex is sex. Have no loose ends or your going to regret it and probably break up.

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  • by Wickels on August 15th, 2007

    Wickels

    Yes, if you are not wanting to have a threesome, you definatly should NOT. If your partner acn't handle it, thats fine. If they respect you so little that it's a threesome or them, they weren't right for you anyway.

    Having a threesome can be a great excuse to have sex with someone new while in a commited relationship. This only works out, though, if both people in the relationship WANT to have the threesome. If one doesn't, it will end in disaster.

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