ANSWERS: 9
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he forgives you because he likes you enough to overlook faults. that's a good thing. hitting out of anger is a pretty terrible thing - and i speak from experience. you stop yourself by controlling your emotions. the next time you two fight, take a step back. breathe deeply and try to calm down. if need be, discontinue the argument and let him win. if you don't stop violent behavior, it will become a habit, and eventually you will hit someone who hits back. just try to practice more self control.
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You'd have to ask him why he forgives you. He may have any number of reasons. To stop, perhaps you need to change the whole way you fight. When you are getting into a fight, and your emotions are getting worked up, perhaps you could try to walk away, take time to calm down, then have the discussion when you're more in control of your actions.
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eventually you will go to jail - that should put a stop to it
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You have taken a HUGE step by admitting you have a problem. I think you have an incredible boyfriend. Remember, if you hit, you eventually will lose him. I would look into some anger management classes. I took a few classes and they helped me. You will find a controlled environment where you can learn to vent your anger in a more positive way. People usually hit when they cannot articulate words to defend themselves in a fight. I would try to work on expanding your vocabulary so you can defend your position with words instead of a fist. If you find you are losing control, during an argument, then put your hands behind your back when you argue. As a previous answer said, walk away if you have to. Change your behavior or you will be forced to change it. Good luck! Please post a comment on how things are working out.
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Why does he keep forgiving you? He needs therapy to figure out why he thinks being abused is acceptable. Maybe he was abused as a child. Many men and women who were exposed to abuse as children and that's all they know. But, he is doing you both a disservice by putting up with the abuse. It might be wise for the two of you to separate and get the help you need. You both need therapy - you for being abusive, and him for being willing to put up with being abused.
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I have been doing the same thing too. I don't know how to stop but it kills me. We've gone through so much and I dont want to lose him because I cant control my emotions. what should i do?
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You need to terminate the relationship and get help. That's the only way to put a stop to it. He needs to get help too, otherwise he will find himself back in the same situation.
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Well, you realize you are doing it and that what you are doing is wrong. So that's the first step. Just because you are a woman doesn't mean it's not domestic abuse. I've been hit by women and even if they are smaller and weaker, a hit is still a hit..it still can hurt. Obviously you have to get a handle on your anger, quit lashing out and if needed get some help. You are lucky, some men on this planet might not be so forgiving and open up a retalitory can of ass whoopin. I hope not, but some men are like that...be grateful you have one that is not and get some help so you can treat him with the respect he gives you.
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I have too. I love my boyfriend,we met in college and have been together 3years. I was abused as a child and I sometimes blame that althoughI don't know how logical that is as I was very yong and don't have a full memory of it. Sometimes (usually there's drink involved)we have massive fights; he always be-littles me and it gets me so frustrated I want to walk away but he always wnts to talk it through which I find really difficult. I sometimes end up hitting him so he will leave me alone. In the end I always feel stupid; like it's all my fault...I'm sorry I don't really help at all..It's just a bit of a relief I'm not the only one...
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