Regarding trust in a relationship: Should trust automatically be GIVEN at the beginning of a relationship until it is taken for granted? Or is trust something that gradually builds over time?
by 
kerr-plunk
ANSWERS: 5
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It would depend on the previous experiences of the people involved. That I think would set the ground rules. I dated a woman back in my single days who had serious trust issues right out of the gate. But then she had been used and abused by at least two previous boyfirends, one of whom I knew. Because of him, I understood her concerns.
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Well it would be nice but on the other hand you must protect yourself until you really know someone. I think trust is something that is earned, over time it becomes stronger and stronger but is like a fine thread and can be broken in seconds. I think Mr Macrum's answer sums things up very well. Usually one judges other people by one's own behaviour. I trusted my first husband implicitly but over 25 years he constantly lied, cheated and I became so insecure. I thought all men couldn't be trusted. How wrong that is, I trust my new husband completely. It took time and patience as at the beginning I had insecurities but I am glad to say that I feel normal now. I never thought I could feel like this. I just KNOW he wouldn't hurt me and likewise I could never hurt him. Good question.
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I think that trust is needed from the very start of the relationship. This is why you should get to know your gf/bf before you start dating them, so that you can get to know their personality, and begin to trust them. When you just jump into a relationship right after meeting them, then you're just setting yourself up for it to not last very long, because you don't even know the person yet, how in the world are you going to be able to trust them? I'm not saying that spontaneous relationships never work out, I'm sure some do, I'm just saying its probably not the best way. Also, trust should never ever be taken for granted. Never assume someone just trusts you, even if you've been with them for years. Never give them a reason not to trust you, and you should be good, but all it takes is once. trust is a fragile thing.
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A certain amount of trust is given and then one must earn the rest. Trust is like love, it must be earned from the other person.
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Every relationship is different. In some, both know how they truly feel about each other and trust is automatic. you just know it. In some, it takes time for trust to present itself, espcially if one partner has crossed the line. Give trust a chance at the beginning. No matter, its a gamble either way.
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