My boyfreind whom I live with had kissed another girl the other night when he was drunk. He lied about it until the girl called me and told me they kissed.He didnt want to tell me cause he knew he would lose me. We are in love. Do I forgive him?
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 26
-
He lied to you!!!! that is what you should be looking at. Dont ever believe that when you're drunk you dont know what you're doing...actually when you're drunk you do and say things you've been wanting to do and say. the fact that you found out from someone else makes it even worst. you should definately talk to him...i do believe in that if he did it once he did it again...but all changes are possible in life...love is blind and silly...if this is his first time doing something like this, everyone deserves a second chance...
-
I'd be more inclined to forgive him if he hadn't hid the truth from you. Let me explain why. When you keep the truth from someone, you aren't REALLY doing it to protect that person's feelings. If the person's feelings meant that much to you, you wouldn't have done the behavior in the first place. You keep the truth from someone to avoid the consequences of what you've done. You are denying that person's right to make his/her own decisions based upon all the information. You are manipulating that person to stay with you, when that person otherwise may not wish to. This concerns me. What is he willing to do to re-establish trust?
-
I always love it when people ask these kinds of questions..."Should I forgive?" The only thing I can say is that forgiveness needs to come from within the person forgiving, AKA you. Everyone around you could tell you to not forgive him, hold a grudge, etc., or even to forgive him and give second chances. The thing is, do what YOU in your heart believes is right. If you think you can forgive him, then do it. If not, then you know what to do. :) Good luck!
-
forgive and forgett 2 different things. all I can say is that if you stay with him you will have to forget. its not the act of cheating that ruins a relationship but, the head trip that comes afterword. you can not bring it uo in fights or loose trust in him for it. if your not willing to exept these things leave him.
-
I think littl_foggy up the top there has hit the nail on the head. More or less anyway. Yet again as i find myself relating to every question on this website, i am on a personal level with this through recent experience - these things do happen. I feel i understand exactly what he means by he thought he would 'lose you', infact - when i was with my girlfriend, now of a year and 3 months, i made the stupid mistake of cheating. I lied for a time, and then came clean. What you have to understand is that, cheating made me realise how much i love her. I think we may have 'fizzled out', had i not made that mistake. (If in hindsight it was a mistake for this reason)
-
I for one don't really find kissing as a real sign of cheating but thats just me...and he was drunk, you do dumb things when your drunk..when I was single I would find my arm around a girl that was standing next to me...not even knowing who she was...if his never done anything like this before then you should forgive..the only thing you should have a problem with is him lying to you...he didn't want to hurt you yes but you should have a relationship that he can feel could live passed one drunken kiss P.S: umm the girl that told you is she a friend? cause if not then she may have been feeling really really bad or she wants your guy.
-
I think that girl that keeps telling you to break up with him would make me want to stay with him more just to piss her off, lol. Anyway... I would tighten up his chain quite a bit, but give him another chance. It sounds like he really loves you, and he may honestly have been trying to protect your feelings... to be honest, I drunk-kissed another guy behind my fiance's back the other night, first time and we have been together 3 years. I can't decide whether to tell him or not. Part of me wants to tell him, and part of me doesn't. I feel so so terrible and nauseious thinking about it, that I want to tell him, but then I think that's selfish. I just want to tell him so that I can feel better about it and he can be all kinds of hurt? That's not right. But it's not right to keep secrets from the man I want to marry, is it? So I don't know. I just thought it might be helpful to hear it from the other side... I am truly regretful and ashamed and want to do anything to get past this, so it's very possible your boyfriend feels the same way and will never do anything like this to you again.
-
I wouldn't kissing was the first step next he will cheat... is he hasn't alreay. I am in love too and I could NEVER kiss another drunk or not.
-
i think that if he was drunk in the first place then that is a little more impotant than him kissing the girl. And the fact that he lied is something to consider as well
-
You can try to forgive him but your biggest issuse might be if you can trust him ever again!
-
LOOK U SHOULD NOT FORGIVE HIS ASS CAUSE THEN HE IS GUNNA DO IT AGAIN ND HE IS GUNNA THINK UR OK WITH IT CAUSE U DIDNT DO ANYTHING BOUT IT THE LAST TIME,, EVEN IF HE TELLS U HE LOVES U TELL FUCK U ND GO KISS THAT GIRL...
-
***NO, you should take a knife and stab him OR ***you should also kiss someone, that will even things out OR ***you should ask him to quit drinking!
-
Yes, it is always good to forgive because in the long run, you will get over it when you least expect it. Trying to repay your friend back will only make the problems worser and it is not worth it especially when "your boyfriend was drunk," so that told it all the he was not sure what he was doing!
-
look if he was drunk u shouldn’t get mad about him kissing the girl. get mad that he drinks if you love him know that drinking is bad and will hurt him and apparently you too.
-
you shouldn't forgive him
-
Well, I would forgive him for kissing the girl after a while, BUT the thing is that he never told what he did. You had to find out. What else are you going to find out about in the future?
-
I find it rather strange that this girl would ring you and tell you about this ... sounds to me like she has motives behind doing this, now she sounds like she let him/lead him on.. why? to break you up?.. so she could get with him?. It was just a kiss and nothing more , he was drunk( no excuse) but again was he set up ?
-
<slapping my forehead in utter DISGUST that you can't figure this out for yourself>
-
I think it kinda depends on why they kissed... I would be worried about what happened before and after the kiss and would want to find this out. If this girl has made it clear she wants your man it makes it all worse. I'd personally prefer it if my partner was to fully cheat on me with a one night stand who he didn't know, like or care for 'cos he got caught up in the moment' than to have him build up a close, flirtatious 'friendship' with another girl where they spend alone time together where nothing happens, sometimes friendships aren't/can't be platonic. In a past relationship i both kissed a few random guys drunkenly and got rather close to a 'friend' where nothing happened. I felt more guilt over the friend because i knew and felt i really was disrespecting my partner and our relationship. The random kisses really did mean nothing. Only you know or can find out about the sort of relationship your fella has with this girl, and i would make sure you know the full extent of it before you make a decision. You shouldn't have to ask him to not be around her, he should be willing to do that himself. Hope this helps
-
I'd say people who love each other can still make certain mistakes but it depends what. I say in this situation the mistake just shows that he doesn't love you. If you forgive him for the kissing because he was drunk that doesn't solve the issue because if he was THAT drunk that he had to be excused from kissing a girl then maybe he is not mature enough to love you. What if he does it on a daily basis? What if he is an alcoholic and it happens yet again? So I think you should forgive him but break up.
-
the girl obviously wants your man... do you lose him to her. Tell him he needs to control his drinking as well because that's no excuse! forgive him once but only once +6
-
forget the girl. drop her from your A list. Not for kissing him but for being a tattle-tail.
-
wait until Hes asleep, then cut it off. Dont really do that i was being funny.. He didnt want to loose you so that means he has remorse. but does that mean that we wont do it again??? Id say its your call on losing him to her or forgiving him and working on your relationship.
-
I think you love him more than he does you. Being drunk means you can kiss others? Can you go to bed with someone else if you are drunk? Lies are okay if you might lose someone?
-
Was it a french kiss or just friendly kiss?
-
Of course you forgive him - it was a kiss not sex, but, your boyfriend needs to be more honest with you
RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC