In a classroom of third graders, the teacher says to the kids, "Today, class, we will be telling stories that have a moral to them." She explained what a moral to a story was and asked for volunteers. Little Suzie raises her hand. Suzie: "I live on a farm and we have a chicken that laid 12 eggs, we were excited to have 12 more chickens but only 6 of them hatched." Teacher: "That's a good story, now what is the moral?" Suzie: "Don't count your chickens before they are hatched." Teacher: "Very good Suzie, anyone else?" Ralphie: "Yes teacher, I was carrying some eggs I bought for my mom in my bicycle basket one day and I crashed my bike and all the eggs broke." Teacher: "That's a nice story, what is the moral?" Ralphie: "Don't put all your eggs in one basket." Teacher: "Very good Ralphie, anyone else?" Little Johnny: "Yes teacher, my Aunt Karen is in the army and when she was in the Gulf War, she parachuted down with only a gun, 20 bullets, a knife, and a six-pack of beer. On her way down, she drank the six pack. When she landed, she shot 20 Iraqis and killed ten of them with her knife." Teacher: "Very interesting, Johnny, what is the moral to your story?" Little Johnny: "Don't mess with Aunt Karen when she's drunk."

A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was doing and his brother said, "Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you." The husband was thinking to himself, "Oh no, what has he done now?" and asked with some trepidation, "Well, bro, what did you name them?" Whereupon, his brother replied, "I named the little girl Denise." The husband, relieved, said, "That's a lovely name! And what did you come up with for my son?" The brother winked and replied, "Denephew." Moral: Don't let your family name your kids.

Once there was a lawyer who was demonstrating skyskraper safety. To show how strong the windows were, he started ramming into it (he had done this many times before). Eventually he broke through the window and fell to his death. so what we can apply for computers also goes for skyskrapers: never bet your life on windows not crashing. (true story)

http://www.coolnicks.co.uk/funnystories/112/A-Philosophy-Professor/ i found this quite funny

A turkey was standing in a field chatting to a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of yonder tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Whereupon he was spotted by a farmer who dashed into the farmhouse, emerged with a shotgun, and shot the turkey right out of the tree. Moral of the Story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

There once was a little baby born and it was only a head, no torso, arms legs, nothing but a head. When the boy was about 4 years old he heard his mom say that if you wanted something bad enough you could pray for it long and hard and you would get it. SO the boy prayed and prayed for a body and one morning he woke up and he had a torso. Excited, he started praying for arms and legs, and a few weeks later he woke up and he had arms and legs,,, He was so excited he jumped up, put on some clothes, ran outside to play and was promptly ran over and killed by a truck. Moral,, It is better to quit while you're a head.