Sex is essential. As the man once said, "Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good." Sex won't improve by itself; it takes a partner willing to learn or do more to please the other. If you don't have kids in the marriage, leaving would be a best bet IF you have tried everything from counseling to sex therapy. Don't cheat as it shows disrespect for your partner. If you have the balls to go out and find a woman on the side, you should have the balls to dissolve the marriage before you start looking for the next bedwarmer. As to the last, damn few men could do that AND have a happy marriage unless there as a DAMN good reason. Dr. Laura has often counseled people in that situation AND who have kids to suck it up until the kids are grown and out of the house, chalking it up to a painful life lesson learned.

i thought as long as you love ur partner so much all things done by both are awesome? hm maybe talk to ur partner and encourage him/her to try more stuff or experiment on something.. hmm maybe watching some videos will give them the idea? and yes cannedham is right cheating will not be a solution..

If I loved my partner I would stay with my partner. I could never cheat, but that does not mean that my only remaining option is a life without sexual satisfaction.

In the marriage I was in sex was a very big issue. It was essential for me but he could have cared less about having it. When we did have it which was about once a month it was very unsatisfying for me because it was so quick and never got any pleasure from it. I wanted to cheat several times and almost did one time but that wouldnt have solved anything. We are divorced now and sex wasnt the only reason but it played a big part in my wanting to get out of it.

Sex is a big part of any relationship. You can always improve it if you know how. Tell him/her exactly what you want without sounding demeaning. Slowly they'll learn what it is that makes you happy. I definitely couldn't live my entire life with dissappointing sex, but you have to listen to your heart before you leave. Don't cheat. It isn't worth it to hurt someone else that badly because you aren't physically satisfied. Try talking with them... if it doesn't work, listen to your heart. You love them, but there are many other people out there.

the importance of sex in a relationship is different from person to person. just look at sexual relations in different cultures. obviously its important enough for you to ask on a blog. but how important is it in your relationship? is horrible because of outside causes. that could be identified through counceling. it sounds like you love the person enough that you are still trying which is a good sign to a future healthy relationship. talk it out with your partner and let them know how you feel. you will make a better decision on what to do by how that person responds. if they are willing to try, i suggest sexual counceling, self help books, and porn. masturbation will help with your sexual needs while this problem in your relationship is mended, but it will take alot of communication between you and your partner, and again a therapist can help facilitate that. if all fails, then there might be a break down somewhere else in the relationship, and if it starts to bleed into other parts of your relationship (the nothing fights because of sexual frustration) then consider a seperation. my philosophy on relationships is that they are like lottery tickets, not all of them are winners.

Sex is a very important part of marriage, but so is integrity. I am sure there are counsellors out there who can give advice on better sex (and communication about sex), as well as gyms and plastic surgeons if there are major physical issues. But you can't replace integrity. It is far better to get a divorce and remarry than to cheat, though I don't personally believe in the "d" word and am grateful to have never heard it mentioned in my house growing up.

This is why you should have sex before marriage... you really do need to know what you are getting into, because sex is a biggy -- good sex can get your through tough times. "cheating" is an option, but only if you have your partner's consent; or go solo -- no consent needed for that (in my opinion). Really, you and your partner should go get counselling -- you need to learn how to talk about sex together. If the talking doesn't happen -- I'd get out of the marriage.

I would never suggest someone cheat on their marriage and divorce, in my book, is never an option unless adultery or physical life threatening abuse is in the mix. If you need sex more than your husband, which is often the case for women I'm afraid, I would strongly suggest sex therapy and counseling, but there are things that perhaps you need to evaluate about yourself that should be happening now, or have already happened, before you have to go that route. Please consider the following: 1) Have you put on an extreme amount of weight? I know this seems an unfair question, but for men it's more of an issue than it is for women. I think you need to think in terms of the overall length of time of your marriage when considering this point and ask yourself was sex better at the beginning of the marriage, when you were thinner, and has just, overtime, petered out...pardon the pun...or has it always just been non-existant? Men can be brutal in this regard and pretty shallow too and often like it or not, it is a huge issue for them. Again I understand that is not fair, but it is what it is. 2) Has he put on a lot of weight? It's a known fact that people who are overweight lose a desire for sex as they get larger. Maybe both he and you need to go on some kind of joint weight loss program. Make it worth it for him by wearing something revealing as you workout together, it might generate some interest and the time together can be even more valuable to your marriage. * Maybe he has some health issues that need to be addressed, erectile dysfunction, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, testosterone, have him checked out medically before you engage in any exercise program! 3) Is he overworked and just tired? Sex usually isn't even a consideration when you are pooped! Maybe the two of you need a vacation? A good idea is to maybe plan one where you spent your honeymoon, if you went on one, and try and recreate some of the excitement that you both felt then, however long ago that was. 4) Do you nag him constantly or get on him about not doing things around the house or helping out with housework? See point 3 first, but nagging can be a huge turn-off for men. Who wants to make love to a nagging wife or husband? 5) Do you have external issues, like finances, issues with the kids that could be driving a wedge emotionally and spiritually between you and your husband? 6) Do you have any sexual hangups or does he that might serve as a deterrant to you having a "normal" sex life? For instance, perhaps your husband wants you to perform oral sex and you think that is abnormal and refuse and he has written off getting any enjoyment from sex because his needs are not getting met. The thing is, there could be any number of reasons why things are the way they are and over which you can exert some control that could immediately jumpstart your sex life with your husband and get the fires burning again. Problem is often we refuse to consider that we may be the problem. Perhaps you did something to cause him to lost trust or faith in you and you have dropped a few notches in his eyes. I would suggest talking to your bishop about your feelings and possibly engaging the help of LDS family services before you do anything life altering or life damaging. I will pray for you.

Im not married but I have been in a long-term relationship, and I can say from a young guy's point of view sex is something that cannot be lived without. If you can't provide it, it will be harder and harder for him to resist going somewhere else for it. There are a ton of ways to improve one's sexlife, and chances are youve tried some- my only real advice is do not assume that a divorce is less painful for kids as they get older- watching your parents split is something that gets harder to watch as you get older.

Do not cheat, it cheapens yourself and makes a mockery of the promise you made. I say have the consideration to get a divorce and end the union. Many divorces have been granted for "Lack of Consortium", establishing that the legal system also recognizes the importance of sex in a marriage.

No sex no marriage, no love, just end the marriage.

I am very deeply in love with my partner and his std prevents him from being able to have intercourse.I wish we could and am sometimes angry that we can't.I would never cheat on him.He is my life with or without sex.I hate that he hurts too much to enjoy anything arousing.I feel rejected and unwanted even though I know the reality is it will cause him pain if we do.Love wins.

The sex act is what makes a marriage a marriage.All of the other stuff can legitimately be done between two people who are not married, by any moral code If you and your spouse are physically capable of sex and one of you is too stubborn, mean spirited,lazy or wrapped up in football to get together with the other and tear one off, on a regular basis, then he/she is defrauding the other. Leaving or cheating shows bad faith and is just as bad (or in certain sitautions WORSE) than giving the cold shoulder. Never give up on sex, the mix it yourself glue that can soften the rough edges.

Millions of married people are making do with very little or with none. If sex were essential, then the divorce rate would be closer to 100% than 50%.

wow .. thats a question im sure every relationship would love to know the awnser too ...and its a very hard one .. sex is very very important to a heathly relationship .live a life with out sex (not an option) would i cheat (no either) but would i leave it depends i geuss i mean if iv tried everything possible and i do mean everything and i cant make it better then yes i do think id leave bc chances are if your not cheating he is lol .. sex is when you connect with your partner on such a different level ..and when its bad the less you want to have it .. and the less you connect in this way .. sex should be fun and sexy and satisfying and if you both dont feel that way then its kinda pointless and you wernt ment to be together ...bc chemistry is an amazing thing ..i actully think thats when i relized my husband was my soalmate was when we were having sex .. just the way i felt with him was amazing!!

I struggled with this for eight years with a terrible sex life and I tried everything. I still don't know what the problem was. I tried cheating, I tried forgetting about it, I fell in live with someone else and tried to deny it. I tried having sex with people I didn't like to fill a need whilst still trying to be a good wife. Finally I left the marriage when I realised that there were other issues aswell and that without sex in a relationship, all you end up is bitter, frustrated, unwanted and ultimately unloved to a degree. If the person can't have sex for a medical reason it is different. And obviously every couples sex life wanes to a degree, but even if you can't have sex, you can still kiss, cuddle and have foreplay. I was wrong to have an affair, but I truly believed I couldn't leave the relationship nor solve the issues within it. At the end of the day if you feel like cheating there is something wrong. For a while I asked myself if humans were intended to be in lasting manogamous relationships. Then when I seperated from my husband and got back with the man I had fallen in love with four years before, I finally understood that it was possible. If your partner expects you to put up with it for no valid reasons then s/he is selfish and wrong. I found it like a form of torture, i became so angry. I would advise you to hoinestly assess the other parts of your relationship. Are they good? Or have you just got used to it? Does spending your life with this person make you happy or scared and sad? If the problem has got worse over time, do you honestly believe it will get better in the future?

daamn...i will hang myself...if i dont hve sex....

i am in this situation. he never wants sex, and when we do it, he has no interest in my pleasure ( i mean NONE, zero, not at all)we have discussed it over and over, h has no interest in providing me with any sexual pleasure. he thinks sexual pleasure is for a woman to provide to a man, not for a man to provide to a woman. I havent left, i woudl not even think about cheating (becasue i do love him, and if you love somebody you dont cheat) Forgettting about sex is hard, so i masterbate every damned day!

My second husband mostly ignored me once we were married. I cheated a few times with someone I knew previously and did masturbate a little (which I have never been very good at!) but mostly I put those energies into my children and social causes.