This guy I know gives me great advice, but he purposely tries to humiliate me at the same time. Should I just not talk to him ever again?
by 
AnonymousGirl
ANSWERS: 16
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I wouldn't ask him for advice or tell him any personal info anymore.If he gives you any unsolicited advice in the future,tell him that you're not interested in hearing it.If he persists,give him a verbal smackdown.He deserves it.
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have you tried telling him how you feel?
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He does that to make himself feel superior. Don’t play into it. If he were a friend, he wouldn’t treat you that way.
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Sometimes a person needs to feel shame for the things they have done, however to do it needlessly is not acceptable you have two choices, quit telling him your problems and taking his advice his advice or deal with it.
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Are you sure that he goes out of his way to make you look bad? I have a co-worker and I "snap" on him regularly... he says things about other people that he is guilty of himself and I may chime in and say "Excuse me, what was that? Mr. Guilty of the Same Offense and Possibly Worse". He criticizes women that are overweight and yet, he is a 260 lbs. He tells the boss that a company does something 75 percent and then drops it when he is guilty of this multiple times a day and can't even sometimes remember to flush the crapper behind him. Sometimes, you have to make people THINK... I would trust that this guy is at least five years older than you and has your best interest at heart. The next time he humilates you, privately take him aside and let him know how your feel. If he is apologetic or remorseful, it wasn't meant to be hurtful. If he is all cocky and doesn't care and tells you to "deal with it", then you then know what he is all about.
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No, you should move past the point of needing to seek advice from this person. There's nothing wrong with occasionally asking someone for advice, but at some point a person should develop enough maturity to seek their own council.
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I suppose that would depend upon whether the advice he gives you outweighs the humiliation and the way it makes you feel. He certainly doesn't sound like a good friend.
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Remember that those that can help you can also hurt you, if you are open to advice, you are susceptible to many other things as well. Just be strong, and act on your own free will, if things seem like they arent going well for you, back off, dont accept the help, for it may not be help at all.
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Can I ask you something? If he's giving you advice which you say is great but humiliates you at the same time, is that him trying to take the edge off the situation? With bad jokes... If I argue with my BF I end up joking with him, so far its been what releases tension...but sometimes I think if the guy didn't get me I'm not sure this would fly with everybody.
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Whatever advice he gives is not worth that.Some people are energy stealers.He gets a boost out of putting you down.He may do this in all his relationships.This is not the kind of friendship you want in your life,it's toxic.Look for friends that make you feel good you deserve the best.I wouldn't even bother talking to him about it,he won't get it.Just move on.Good Luck:)((hugs))
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Actually I had that exact situation about 2 months ago. With those kinds of people, what they are really looking for is someone who needs to latch onto them. Someone who is dependant on them. Those kinds of people have NASTY psychological problems and you should avoid them. Yes, get the hell away from him and stay the hell away from him.
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I would not talk to him again
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IMHO You need to decide if the great advice outweighs the humiliation. Personally I wouldn't want to be with someone who humiliates me no matter how much good he can give me. Weigh the pros and cons.
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I'm sorry first of all that in all these years since you posted this question no one bothered, or knew to tell you that no one can humiliate you without your consent. I'd suggest you listen to the guy and learn why you choose to feel humiliated because of what he says. If its true and you don't like it then change it. If its not true then you need to remember that for your list of times this guy lied and figure that into your idea of great advice.... It might just be "great advice" you don't want to hear, but need to.
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Great advice is not easy to find. It seems like he feels like a "hot shot" who wants to be in control or the dominant one by being aggressively playful. "Hot shot" definition in slang: "a person regarded by others or personally as an expert in some activity or as very important, aggressive, or skillful."
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He sounds like a tosser. Dont talk to him dont tell him personal things about yourself.
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