WOW! you must have had the very WORST tutors in the world! I have never heard of a tutor telling a student that they were helpless and hopeless and would never do better. Paying someone to do your work for you is not the answer at all. I know you hate the idea of this, but practice is the only way to better understand things like math. You need to have a good teacher and a good tutor who will be supportive and encourage you when you are having trouble, and who can help your self confidence and work WITH you through the topics that you find difficult and confusing.
I had trouble with math all my life. I thought I was just stupid when it came to math and I had no confidence in my abilities. I even avoided going to college after high school because I thought that I was stupid. I had teachers when I was growing up who didn't take the time to help me to learn, a few bad teachers over the years damaged my self esteem and left me frustrated with myself and with math in general I felt exactly like you do.
Then a couple of years ago I decided to go back to school because I want to become a speech therapist and you know what? My first math teacher was great. He helped to build up my confidence in myself, and now I actually LIKE math! I help to tutor other students in my classes when they are having trouble, I am not afraid to raise my hand because now I see that even if I'm wrong I learn better when I participate, and EVERYONE gets it wrong sometimes. Keep working at it, but also find yourself a good tutor, someone who will be patient with you and who will take the time to help you through it. I promise that if you try you will be able to do it. You might not learn to like it the way that I did, but you don't have to hate it either. And good luck to you, don't give up on yourself, you are totally worth the effort.