ANSWERS: 10
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You can only find the answer within yourself
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because you dont have any other children so you can't actually compare your love for normal children with autistic children? (after i found out the asker had more than one child EDIT): because you subconsciously feel that he needs more love because he has "special needs"
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I used to work with autistic and down syndrome children. The best job I ever had. You can't help but love them. You feel the need to watch over them and protect them, because they can't do that for themselves. And while doing that, you grow closer to them. Because they need you more than children without disabilities do. And this child, you actually gave birth to, so you have an even stronger bond.
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how do you know you love him more? do you have other children? How do you think your other children would feel if they knew that you loved their brother more than them just because he is special needs? well keep it to yourself.
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You always end up loving the really difficult ones more. You have so much more invested in them. My child spent her entire infancy and toddlerhood fighting a brain aneurysm, a stroke and a brain tumor. We have fought so hard to save her, and we have so much invested in her that we were just naturally drawn closer to her than we would have been had she been independant.
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Admiration for the special challenges he so bravely faces. The sense that he might need that extra love to meet those challenges. The feeling that your love will help bring him further down the road. The feeling that he needs it more than other children. The sense that he is yours and needs more tender loving care.
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I have 3 boys, one with Autism. Not to say that my other children aren't amazing awesome little guys as they all have their special qualities but my 4 year old Autistic son has such a free spirit! It makes me adore him so much! The challenges he faces are all too much for me to think about but he just runs through life so full of promise and hope. Maybe its just that he is clueless to the coldness of the world but whatever it is it makes me protect him more so than my other two sons. Having an Autistic son has also given me a new way of thinking and doing things. He has changed my life in so many ways. The trials and tribulations that he is sure to face make me cringe but it does nothing to break his free-spirited ways. He is beautiful in every aspect of the word.
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Maybe because he needs you more?
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Not really an answer to your question as such but I hope you listen and you like! and know you're not alone!
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my have 3 autistic children in my family. every holiday i treat them 3 more "special" then my other cousins because it takes double the attention for them. they prob. feel i am treating them normally, i talk to them normally but i know i treat them special. i think you feel more for that child because they have a problem.
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