I would whoop the crap out of him. Family or not, that is not cool when there are kid in the picture.

Sounds like he is a dad of convenience, his... of course. I'm sorry but that isn't a dad! He may be the man who is you biological father but not a dad. He is selfish, self centered, and if the wind changes he could be out of your life again! I would enjoy seeing him, finding out about that side of the family, but I would make it very clear, you don't expect anything from him as far as a dad, he made that decision for you. Show him it's his loss, show him you have class, and dignity. Maybe give him some of your time, but when it's convenient for you! Don't set yourself up! I'm very sorry for his loss, all you can do is learn from this. Never do this to your child!

This happened to me. Only they got divorced and he disappeared for 3 years and reappeared living with a new family and 2 step kids. My advice? Let it go. Lifes too short to spend being pissed off all the time, and it doesnt do anyone any good anyway. Hes human. Remember that and dont be so self righteous as to think youre the only one who makes mistakes, rash decisions, or poor choices. Talk with him about it one day, but accept things in an effort to see how he came to find peace, and evaluate your decisions from there. Thats what I did, and Im much happier. I was miserable assigning blame, hating him, taking other peoples judgements over my own, and living in the past. Look at him as a person on a journey, hopefully he found what he was looking for, and hopefully you can forgive him if he unintentionally hurt you or was short sighted in the process. Good luck.

Everything is disposable replaceable and boring for those who need the chase for those who need drama.I had more than my share of step fathers who learned when they decided to kick the crap out of me it did not come free The military became my way out of this muck and one divorce destroyed by me,second at 42 she came with 4 children determined not to be the step parent from hell19 yrs.later its great.

It might be hard, but it's best to forgive.

Not for a while. Yuck and OUCH.

I think my anger would burns the place to the ground.

My father did something similar himself - you have my sympathy. Now here's what I would recomend to do - forgive him. Forgiveness is cheep - it costs next to nothing - but it has a value beyond price. That aside - follow my argument here. Time will pass - it always does, and both you and your dad will grow older and your time on this planet will grow shorter. Likely your father who is older than you will die before you - and if he dies before the both of you settle the "bad blood" you have between you he will die unhappier than he could be - and you will have regrets that will never be settled untill you too pass from this earth. Time spent in hatred and mistrust is time wasted in your life and you will never get it back again - make an effort to resolve the issues keeping you two apart and you will feel better about yourself - and if the two of you never do reconcile your differences then the fact that you tried to find an answer will take much of the hurt away. I had that "reconciliation" with my father - and we grew to be good friends - not so much as father and son, but more like 2 adults who shared a common heratige & interest. To this day however I regret the time we lost through our combined ego and ignorance - but I cherish the time we did have together when we both "grew up".

You drew a real dud of a Dad, but why make it worse by holding a grudge. that just gives him power over you. In my family when this happened, the adult kids were able to forge a new relationship with their dad.

my GF has the same situation and according to her, she will never forgive her dad. But, in my opinion, you should, and the reason why I am saying it is because of the same thing I tell to my GF all the time that you must accept the people for whatever and whoever they are, specially when that person is your dad, therefore you have no other choices but to respect him as a father. you should not see your parents as an idol. they are humans too right? so they make mistakes. The only thing we must do is to see those mistakes and learn not to do those mistakes and eventually become a better person than our parents.

Been there :-/ I used to hate my dad... I never told him...but I hated him for choosing to be with some girl over my mom...and ME!!!! But now as a single mom with 2 kids and a failed marriage, I now understand that you cant stick around just for the kids. If he was unhappy with my mother and he found what he was looking for with someone else, it would have been unfair for us all if he hadnt left. So I forgive him now...because now I know it wasnt personal. And as for the no contact for 2.5 years?!? What was his excuse? Did he have one? Hmmmm....

i went through the same thing except he ignored me and adopted his new wifes daughter and gave her a great life and left me at times homeless and told me i just had to understand that.