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by bethany19651 on January 6th, 2007

bethany19651

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Do you believe in sparing the rod to save the child when it comes to punishment time

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Answers. 21 helpful answers below.

  • by Anonymous on March 8th, 2007

    Anonymous

    NO!!! I do not believe in using a rod or in any form or corporal punishment. My father believed in that and all he got was a son who hated him for years and it also caused his son to not want children down the road.

    It is a way for the parent to do long term emotional damage to the child and only helps a parent get rid of their own stresses and tension. It is not an effective method of punishment in my mind. I never did any better or acted any better except immediately after being beaten.

    More talking and instruction while not angry and out of control would have taught me what I did was wrong. But parents often react quickly out of anger and then it is too late to try another healthy approach.

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  • by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on March 8th, 2007

    P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines

    No, I do not belive this. I spank my children when they are totally out of contol. Like when my youngest threw a temper tantrum at the store the other day and when I tried to calm him down he ran out into the parking lot full tilt. That said I do not use it as my first line of disapline. They get a "NO" first and if that doesn't work I remove them from the situation. And if that doesn't work I spank them three swats on the bottom. And I don't care where we're at or who sees me do it. I'm not intrested in other's opinion of my actions. I'm more worried about what not disaplining my children will do. And I've heard that whole speal about how spanking teaches children to hit and become violent. That's total bull. My son started hitting us when we told him "NO" or took something away before we started spanking him. It's a child's natural response to anger and frustration before they can speak. And when you look at the statistics as spanking has gone out of favor the rate of violent crime has risen, not decreased. So has child abuse. Not the only cause, but very telling.

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  • by hoki on August 15th, 2007

    hoki

    yes definitely... it's not a good thing to do but for young kids, that is what drives home the point effectively. Why respect persons who are unruly & try explaining politely to them? Give them one hard whack & then they start listening to you.

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  • by NetNet on March 8th, 2007

    NetNet

    I believe in spanking but not in beating. If there are no consequences for misbehavior what a mess this world would be in.

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  • by FineBalance . on January 6th, 2007

    FineBalance .

    I have been a strict mother, with rules and regulation and my kids appreciated it always. I think I raised two good humans and kids.

    We can create a discipline without ever raising a hand. It needs more energy, reasoning and patience.

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  • by blondecowgirl865 loves NC bbq on August 14th, 2007

    blondecowgirl865 loves NC bbq

    yes, i firmly believe that spankings help.. not beating, just a smack on a tush. my mom used to carry around a wooden spoon in her purse, just in case, and i turned out great :-D

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  • by Valparaiso on March 8th, 2007

    Valparaiso

    My parents spanked me, with a board. I don't think I would go that far but I do belive in spanking.

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  • by bowlinggreen on January 6th, 2007

    bowlinggreen

    Beating kids? In an ideal world, I would avoid it. Although I have never been unlucky enough to have a child who terrorized me and was a danger to him/herself as well. I would probably exhaust every reasonable method I could think of to solve the problem before I would consider such a thing, but I can imagine hypothetical scenarios where I might lose my temper.

    When I was young, I got slapped in the face a few times. No major emotional scars over it.

    My neighbor used to beat his son very loudly and one day I couldn't take it anymore and ran outside and started shouting 'STOP BEATING YOUR SON". He replied "I'M BEATING HIM BECAUSE I LOVE HIM". We never heard him beating the kid again. The kid grew up, got married, has two kids and beats them.

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  • by Snoopy on March 10th, 2007

    Snoopy

    As long as childeren know what the punissment will be for their bad behavior it is ok to cane or belt them. if they know beforhand what the punissment is then it is thier choice.
    I believe in the badder the behavior the harser the punnissment shold be.
    They gotto learn.
    there are many exelent tools to inflict pain but not do damage and parents shold use them.

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  • by carsrus on December 16th, 2009

    carsrus

    Spare the rod and spoil the child, u bet, spanking is an effective way of having children know right from wrong. I use it frequently- have 4 boys who are constantly fighting or rough housing, and yes, they get my belt!

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  • by jodijodi on April 23rd, 2008

    jodijodi

    Spanking is the best for my little boy. he's a year old, almost two and he knows that i will absolutely not tolerate wild behavior in public and tantrums. he tried to hit before i 1st hit him. i swatted him on the leg in return, he cried but he knows. YOU CAN'T TALK TO LITTLE PEOPLE LIKE SUCH..."NO...STOP,QUIT, DON'T" ALL THIS TEACHES THEM IS THEY CAN SAY THE SAME BACK TO YOU.YOU HAVE TO GET THEIR ATTENTION. at daycare he does not hit or act out, what so ever. he knows better "If i do this, mommy will get me" COMMON KNOWLEDGE AND COMMON SENSE. He is not stupid by far. he does something once he doesnt do it again.

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  • by singwell-is off researching a lot on March 8th, 2007

    singwell-is off researching a lot

    isn't the saying "spare the rod and spoil the child'? I gave up spanking as more of a harm to my hand than to the child, so I have spared the rod, and saved me...but neither did I spoil the child by not spanking...my best example is telling them that if they did not keep their toys tidy, I would sent them to poor children in Vanuatu (we had friends working in a Bible School there are the time). They didn't listen so off the toys went. Months later, my mother was giggling when I came home. Apparently, the younger daughter(all of 3 or 4) found some of her stuffed toys in a bag in the garage (just for storage-no other reason) sighed and said "There are my toys-going to Vanuatu."

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  • by Babycakes on March 8th, 2007

    Babycakes

    I use an egg timer and set it for 10 min.(4 yr. old) and i have had to use it only one time. She got the message I wont tolerate bad behavior, she sat in her room and i sat outside her door and listened to her cry and i cried for 10 min. I hope she never puts me through that again. My mother used a belt and i still carry those wounds in my heart

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  • by Gen.ButtNaked on March 16th, 2010

    Gen.ButtNaked

    HELL NO!!!!

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  • by thatsJustme on February 24th, 2010

    thatsJustme

    no, i firmly believe ,sparing the rod ruins a child.....you want them to be respectful , obediant, responsible....and sometimes it takes discipline, because you do love them....i don't mean beatings done in anger,rage ....i mean 'tough love' spankings or whippins as we called them....for the most part, all of got the message...
    as far as the ROD being the Bible....that too....

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  • by Annie Girl on April 8th, 2007

    Annie Girl

    NO! And, I am angry that so-called "Christians" have interpreted a sentence in the Bible that allows children to be beaten---CHILD ABUSE. You know, some preachers say that "the rod" when context and other Bible references THAT 'THE ROD' IS THE BIBLE, CONSIDERED THE WORD OF GOD TO HUMANITY. See the difference in how precious children of every age would otherwise be treated in some of America's families.

    A leather belt was used by my mother and his own belt was used by my Dad....sometimes his had a metal end on it. The only other 'corporal' punishment was a slap to the face.

    NO, NO. I do not think that in any way it made me a better adult. I know that it did not make my older brother a better adult because he used corporal punishment on his sons and worse on 2 of his 3 wives---"the third wife laid down the law" so he never hurt her physically when he was drinking. (In every way he acted out at his family as an alcoholic just LIKE our father did.

    My younger sister was 'spanked', beaten, more than once with a belt and there is no doubt that it DID NOT make her a better adult. In fact, it led her to hate herself, have very poor self image, believed that she was no good in every way and she could never find peace with/from God. Her 2 worst "spankings" beatings with a belt were: at age 7 by our young 24 yr "saintly" mother; and, at age 17 by our father.

    Nobody remembers why she was 'spanked for doing something wrong" at age 7. I remember every blow and the yelling at her and her fighting to get away from mother's hold on her with one hand and swinging the belt with the other.At age 8, I was powerless as were my brothers, age 6 and 9. At age 17 in 1957, she still lived at home aand bought a car after getting a great job after her June 1957 graduation. Most Saturday nights she and a girl friend would go to a movie, bowling, skating, and similar activities that were available to teenagers in the 1950's over 30 years before the sexual revolution and ease in buying beer, and the use of heroin primarily in the NE U.S.

    One night she and her girl friend did not just 'drag' (as in the movie, "American Graffitti" that was filmed at the favorite drive-in, round, at one of the street that was crowded by teenagers every Fri and Sat nights) the street and yell at the boys, but they left town and drove 60-plus miles away AND she arrived home at 8:00 a.m. When she opened the front door father demanded that she go to her room...our mother and I were in the kitchen and, as at age 9, I could only listen to her screams because my interference at 18 would just have meant that he would become even more angry and beat me too. Same for our mother. (That evening she called our grandmother and was on the plane to travel 5 states away the very next morning.)

    What he had done: Made her remove her clothing all except bra and panties, used his stiff narrow belt with a metal end to beat on her so hard so long. The incident was not mentioned by our parents. You see, he had decided that she was out there having sex with one or more boys---being liki him probably several times a week when at his favorite bar owned by the woman he had slept with for several years before alcohol killed him at 47.

    How "in God's green earth" could those 'spankings' have made her a better adult. She never spanked her own kids who are 3 fine adults now. She died at 57. God was merciful for she was happy one minute and dead the next, before her son could walk around the table, when an anyourism broke in the front of her head.

    Sadly, the laws making such treatment Child Abuse did not come until the 80's.

    I realize that some adults can bury such memories so deed that they do not realize the power those buried feelings have on their adult lives.

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  • by carsrus on February 7th, 2010

    carsrus

    Spanking is the way to go. I spank my 4 sons, sometimes frequently- they are well behaved, good in school and at sports. All 4 are fine young men-giving them a strapping may hurt their behinds, but not their spirt.

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  • by Nom de guerre on January 6th, 2007

    Nom de guerre

    I believe discipline is very important, but I do not believe in spanking. It's completely unnecessary.

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  • by Engeltje on March 10th, 2007

    Engeltje

    I don't believe in physical punishments. For my children talking to them and time out sometimes did wonders. Also taking away their toys for a while made them think about what they did.

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  • by L Anon has a Blank spot in her heart on August 15th, 2007

    L Anon has a Blank spot in her heart

    No, I don't believe in the saying. The atmosphere in the US today is of 'understanding the child's motivations' and leniency which unfortunately that leads to an extremely bad reaction to any spankings. It seems children then get the martyr syndrome which kind of defeats the purpose of the punishment.
    At a previous daycare we had our children (in a military installation) we could be turned into child services if we were seen so much as swatting our child's bottom, which I thought was a little sad.

    Another issue is because the home atmosphere is so different, such as so many two-income families, the positive time to balance a good peachtree stick whooping is no longer there.

    My discipline saying is "Be consistent and believe in what you are doing." For some it is the rod, and if it is not malicious nor excessive then that is what will work for you.

    That would not work for me, nor would it for the majority of parents these days.

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  • by NetNet on March 9th, 2007

    NetNet

    The mess the world is in today is not all because children aren't disciplined. We have drugs & immoral behavior & people that just don't care about anything that count for alot of it.

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