Curses no, How do you deal with it ?, I guess you look at what you do have, a great little kid, and stay strong for them. I'm really sorry to hear your news mate, stay strong :-) *hugs*

Hello Matt. First I am sorry that you have gone through this pain, I have read your posts before and think you are a good guy. I did not lose mt wife through death, but I did lose her. Sometimes I also feel the past few years have been cursed, But I found that in order to save my sanity I had to accept the pain as part of life just as a smile is. You cannot let it control you, you must find a way to use it productivly, I have found that behavior can really affect feelings. If we wait to adjust our behavior ubtill our feelings are in line we miss so much. I had a really bad head injury. I was shot. Spent months in the hospital and a year and a half in rehab.I lost my house and a few rentals I had, lost my wife, everything. When I got home I found 3 kids that I didn't want to deal with. I wanted to sit and stew in my own pity and anger, NOT take the kids to the park. Knowing my feelings were wrong I did it anyway, before too long and with out even realizing, it got fun, Last year, after spending a few years building my house, A tree fell on it, this was on, of all days, Jan 4th 2008, my birthday...It destoyed the house, had to move out, well...I just moved back in, it is better than ever...Things will get better if you want them to...Don't lose yourself in them and you will come out of them fine.....Good Luck...

I know what you mean, Matt. I haven’t had quite as much heartache as you, but eight years of infertility (including multiple losses) coupled with not enough money, then finally getting children but becoming severely underemployed and then completely unemployed…. It’s rough sometimes. I wouldn’t call it a curse, though; it’s just this stupid world we live in. Tragedy is, unfortunately, a part of our temporal, mortal existence. Hollow as it may sound now, there’s always something to be grateful for, if you look hard enough; and someday we’ll understand how it all fits together. Hang in there, man. I empathize with you.

No, I do not believe in curses. As far as how I deal with strings of horrible calamities, which I have had: I know that life is not fair and I know that nothing is going to make it fair. I do not expect anything different. I have recently been in a string of rather unpleasant events. I try to take each good thing that happens and cherish it.

I'm sorry... Nothing to do but wade through it. I am a strong believer in visioning. That is imagining what you want and the power of the mind. Possitive thinking etc... Vision this, you're wading across a big muddy lake. You must keep going there is no choice other than HOW you do it. Meaning you can moan and groan at each step,constantly discouraged. Or you can think thoughts that inspire you and look for the good. I guarantee you will reach the shore faster by finding the good things in this. YES, There's always good to every bad. I've found my happiest highs while eperiencing the deepest lows. No to curses. Hang in there. Much love sent your way.

No, I sure don't believe in curses but runs of hard times hit is all in different ways and in different concentrations so to speak. Sometimes a little here and there and of course sometimes long periods of are crammed full of 'em. I'll share with you a conversation I had with a fellow member. A little background first. I have a progressive neuromuscular disease that has forced me to retire from what was my dream job. It's a very painful condition that has taken from me my mobility (I go between forearm crutches and a wheelchair) and my sleep. I've been away from AB for a while recently recovering with the most recent bout but this stuff isn't about comparing my tough times with anyones it's just necessary to make the conversation make sense. With this in mind, my friend asked: "How do you cope?" (Of course different things apply for me than may for you; for example, I'm blessed with a wife and am gettin' old, you are blessed with a child and are still young.) Some parts are of course omitted since this is a public place. Anyway, this was my reply and I hope it helps you in someway. :0) ** Subject: Blessings that help us to cope ******, I get that question a lot, lol! :) I suppose it's time I sat down and typed out all the details and shared them. You're right, a lot of severe pain is involved and there are times that I get bummed out but I've learned to fight it though sometimes it takes a few days to shake it off. It's frustrating at times too when your own body won't do simple things you ask it to or fights with you such as hands that draw up. 2 - 4 hours of sleep for every 24 doesn't help either and the cold and the gray of winter makes everything worse. To cope is a complicated process but well worth the effort and requires determination on my part and some good old fashioned stubborn love of life for starters. I'm glad you ask because it's good for me to list the reasons for the above which are part of the process now and then (besides, I love to share them): * I have been blessed with the most wonderful wife in the whole world, my perfect match and soul mate. * I have a great, supportive family that loves me as much as I love them and that sure is a whole bunch. * As someone on AB once said "I did not choose my friends; God gave them to me" and I have to add that He did a perfect job of bringing you all into my life. * Of course I've adopted many of you spoken or unspoken [here on AB and have been the gift of a whole new family]. Wow, what do you say about such a precious gift as that? Gosh, these are just a few reasons to be stubborn and love life; this helps me to cope. Another major factor is is the realization of the fact stated at the end of all my emails: "It's the simple pleasures in life that serve to enhance its wonderful complexity." I learned this pretty quickly after the disease had progressed to the point that my mobility was beginning to be limited. I seek out the simplest things to appreciate and to take joy in; they get taken for granted a lot so someone's gotta go it huh? :0) For example, every blade of grass is it's own, individual, little plant. When I look at a yard and then just one blade, I find that amazing and wonderful. A breeze, I love them and soak them in as I do sunlight every chance I get whether it be outside in it or through a window. Ever think of what it takes to make a breeze or even one sunbeam for that matter? This is the type of stuff I love; maybe I'm just easily amused but I'm thankful for it. ;-) Pictures are worth a thousand words but hugs are worth a million so: ((((((BEAR HUG!!!)))))) for you and I hope to talk with you soon . . . *** You have my address so feel free to drop me a line if you need to talk. :)

Dear Matt, im so sorry to read this, and NO i dont believe in curses. Some people have to deal with more than their fair share of tragedy, and sadly this is what has happened to you. I cannot tell you why this is happening, all i can say is, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, you may not see it now, but it is definitely there. I have found this out for myself. We all experience tragedies at some time or other, but you just need to keep battling on, and some good will eventually come out of it. Of course me saying all this isnt really going to help, but i just want you to know we are all here for you, anytime you need to talk just email me, im here.

Matt89, so much has happened to you at such a young age. I'm so sorry to hear about your heartaches and tragedies. At age 22, my first heartache struck with the health of a child - my life changed. You are the only one that knows the personal pain that you've went through because of your losses. I'm just here to try to validate how you feel. My two sons ages are 32 and 36 have had losses. One coped with losses by turning to supportive friends, venting and just plain crying every day. My other son had a more difficult time with his coping but now is coping much better. My coping has been done by reaching out to other people and faith. I'm glad you reached out to your AB friends. I don't know you well enough to give you a hug...but I'm going to walk on the wild side anyway and give a (((bighug))). Take care Matt.

I don't believe in curses but I do believe in thigns catching up to you all at once. I'm sure that there were times where things ALL seemed to work out for you & you had the luck of the Devil. Then it all hits you at once. I had the world @ my fingertips then my I lost my lawsuit for a personal injury, lost my excellent paying job, & my son got arrested. Nothing compared to you, but depressing nonetheless. The only way I can deal w/ it is by pushing on in my life & see that I have my head in order to push on for ONE MORE DAY. That's the only way I can deal @ times. Just like they taught me in NA. Sometimes when 1 day seems too long, take it an hour @ a time. Eventually the pain will go away, but the memories are still there & the memory of the PAIN is still there. Pain & fear are 2 driving forces in humans. It makes us realize that we are mortal & to appreciate what we haev in front of us & to not take ANYTHING for granted. I am very sorry to hear about your losses but tomorrow is a new day to make the scars less visible & to love again. Good luck to you & the Coats are her if you need us.