ANSWERS: 3
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  • Ultimatums don't work. Period. These are merely attempts at controlling the other person. People don't control very easily. Better to learn to accept the other as they are. If you don't like the way another is, then leave. It's like turning the channel on the TV. If you don't like the show you're watching, change channels. First, learn to love and accept yourself. If you can truly do this, then you can learn to accept others. That doesn't mean you have to love others, just learn to accept them. When you find another, he/she will reflect the best, and worst, in you. If you can honor yourself, you will select only those who honor themselves...and you.
  • I did have a situation along those lines, nothing was ever said verbally, but I knew what would happen if I didn't go along with his plans. In the end, I was true to myself and he left, he did want to move back in at one point, but he had changed so much and wasn't acting himself at all, it was rather scary. I feel that I made the only choice I could, even though I went through a lot of pain after we split up, I had to do what I could live with.
  • ultimatums, by nature, are a control tactic. Other than an employment environment, they should not bge used. In a relationship, we talk through our problems. if the party is not concerned about your feelings, then go. You DO deserve to be with someone who cares about you.

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