Does anyone have any really good Holiday jokes? Please share! (mine in answer)
by 
Kitt-tastrophy
ANSWERS: 10
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How do we know Santa is a man? He shows up late, eats your cookie, empties his sack,comes only once, calls you a HO and leaves.
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On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. Christmas Santa The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the stupidity in the horse's brain instead of on his back." ° Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
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Boy> I lost it! I lost it! Girl> What did you lose? Boy> My feelings for you.
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what's yellow and smells like grren paint? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > yellow paint!
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look at Congress... That's always good for a laugh (or a good cry)
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Why did the turkey cross the road>? ....to prove he wasn't chicken
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here are some musical jokes: what do you call it when you drop a piano on a drill sergeant? a-flat major. what do you call it when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? a-flat minor.
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Not the best, but heard it today and made me chuckle... How do you know when you house has been built by a Lesbian builder? . . . . . . When there is an absense of studs and all the joints are tongue-and-groove joints!
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A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven." Mary answers, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!" The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this. "Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there
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