ANSWERS: 33
  • Pets are often members of the family and she was there before you. I think you need to be sensitive about the subject, since rejecting the dog could mean hurting his feelings. Perhaps you need to be more tolerant of the dog.
  • I hate when people say that, "a dog is a dog" no kidding. I think people know that their dog is a dog. so because the dog is a dog should the dog sleep outside in the cold. should the dog not be with his owner who loves him and shows him affection. And i agree with elfie that dogs are considered members of the family. I can understand if the dog slept right between you two then ask your bf to place the dog in a doggy bed on the bedroom floor so he wont feel cast aside. dogs have feelings and they will let you know when they are hurt or upset.
  • If you want to keep the man you better get used to the dog.
  • I had wrote this nice long answer then my comp froze so i'll shorten this one up. I have a dog who use to sleep in my room. even in my bed. but i had a daughter who now sleeps in my bed and I had to place the dog on the floor. When he is nice and clean he is welcomed in my bed. Lately he has made his way into the kitchen and enjoys sleeping in there. I completely understand that the dog is stinky and if your bf wants the dog to sleep between the two of you i can see where you wouldnt want that. I agree with you there. no one wants to cuddle up with a smelly dog. I hope it all works out for you two, I mean three. good luck
  • I don’t take my close off in front of anybody. get the dog OUT
  • The best advice I can give you is do NOT try to come between a man and his dog. The dog will win over the girlfriend every time. If the dog being dirty is an issue, try surprising your boyfriend by giving the dog a bath. If that is not physically possible (dog too big), try giving him a gift certificate to take the dog to a groomer. If the only issue is that the dog is dirty, that should remedy the problem. If the underlying issue is you just don't like the dog, you might want to keep that thought to yourself.
  • Mans best friend isn't woman, it's the dog. Push too hard and you might be the one sleeping somewhere else.
  • "Love him, love his dog".....you will lose on this one. Factor this into your decision as to whether the bf is THE ONE.
  • Sorry, but you won't find any help in this corner. Look, some people just can't grasp the strength of the bond that can exist between a person and their dog...simply put, not everyone is a dog person. For us dog people, our pets are more than just possessions....they are FAMILY. Sure, they may not have opposible thumbs or the ability to make bad financial decisions, but never under estimate the dog's capacity for unconditional love and loyalty. That's more than I can say for most people. Frankly, if anyone ever tried to force me to chose between them and my girls, I would choose the dogs without a moments hesitation.
  • well..im pretty sure he had this dog before you...you're going to have to get used to it...i had to same prob when i moved in with my bf he has three dogs...but i learned to live with it..besides i love those dogs...to him that dog is part of the family maybe she just needs some more discipline so she can stop making a mess...all dogs are trainable... if you really like him you need to make sacrifices...
  • It sounds as if he's placed you in the same category as his dog. If he's not willing to change where his dog sleeps for you, what makes you think he'll change his LIFE for you?
  • AS many have said here if you keep pushing to hard you will be the looser in the end. You are in a very delicate situation as Staffy was there before and in his eyes she isn't a dog, she is a pet something that makes his day better when he comes home, something that loves him unconditionally, no question asked and requires little from him except food, water and lots of love. He may be doing what he does also because he wants to make sure in his mind that if things in the future get real serious between you two, Staffy doesn't get left out in the cold and will still be a part of his life. Some how you have to reassure him of that and yet convince him that sleep & sex life don't mix with Staffy in middle, maybe a bed in corner of room as long as she is clean after all"Honey when we have kids she must be clean for their sake" or along those line, so get her more use to baths now, or on a groomer schedule etc. Just do it all with LOVE and keep Staffy in the picture and you will be fine.
  • I am going through a similair situation. My boyfriend has 2 dogs a boxer and a pit. I love the dogs to death but I can't sleep with big dogs...I need space...he has a bad back. So he finally had them sleep in the living room. Now, he wants to go back on his word and insist that they atleast sleep on the floor in the bedroom. I have no problem if they are in the room during the day time but when it is bed time I want to sleep or be intimate with my man and there is no way that I am making love with a dog in there. He says that the dogs are like his kids but if that is the case, maybe my son should sleep on the floor too??? What gives ??? I just need privacy that is all...nothing against the dogs.
  • I don't let my dog sleep with me because of the dominance thing. Although I love him unconditionally, I do accept that he's a dog & sometimes I must do things that seem harsh in order to make things better. He understands & I think he prefers his own bed now, especially because it's near the front door & his guard insticts are kicking in now he's maturing. I'm single, but I actually use my dog to "once over" any girls I meet... I even tell them that. In fact, I use him to check everyone - he's an excellent judge of character.
  • I'm gonna stick up for you, I like dogs but I have the same problem as you, my boyfriend thinks its ok to sleep with a dirty smelly spaniel and I got bitten by a flea when I stayed there so you know what my answer is vote with your feet and don't stay at his!
  • No sympathy here, It sounds like it's his house. Try telling a guy what to do in his own house, and he may show you the door.
  • What dose the dog making the house a mess have to do with it sleeping in the bed? You have a problem! Ether you don't want the dog around, or you have an issue with you boyfriend being a slob. If I was your boyfriend, I'd tell you there's the door.
  • It's his house and his dog so what he says goes. Just because the dog sleeps in his room doesn't mean he thinks it's people. LOTS of people let their dogs sleep in their rooms and - gasp! - even their own beds! Do you really want to make this into an issue?
  • Is this the same person who just asked a question like this? Get a new boyfriend already. He doesn't care about you.
  • Dear Genius: Men, forced to choose between dogs and, let's say 'cats', always choose the cats. Make your demand clear!
  • Darl'n. . . . . .if his DOG is more important than YOU are (and I value my dogs as family members, as well). . . . . . .then MAYBE he's giving you a "polite" cue to either ACCEPT HIS DOG (which IS, and should be, a part of his life!). . . . . .or YOU'RE "el historio"! Listen. . . . .any man who can LOVE A DOG is worth KEEPING, in my book! Where's YOUR sense of "love for animals"!???????????????????????
  • You cant,i love dogs i let my dog sleep in the bed when my s/o isnt here,however i dated a guy had a very large doberman she bit me ,she was jealous and i was scared too death of her.he let her in the bedroom when i was there.i felt the dog was more important than me.
  • Not sure which you object to more, the dog sleeping with his owner or the mess in the house. Unlikely the dog is the only one making the mess. You will need to accept the situation with his dog and if you don't find another boyfriend. He has made it clear which is his preference. See the writing on the wall and accept it or leave. You will never change it and if you manage to he will always resent you for it.
  • My Molly (my dog)is like one of my kids, accept her or leave me. His "kid" was more than likely there long before you and will be there long after.
  • A dog is just that a dog/animal and not a human. You can have affection for them, etc. but I never have once had or seen one I would value over a human. No dogs in my bed. If they are in the house, they sleep in their own corner (not the bedroom). Most of my dogs have slept outside in a dog house even in winter. I would find another boy friend because you are not going to change him.
  • the thing with dog or cat lovers is that our animals ARE humans to us...that are our kids and we will defend them....so sad to say, but since you came inthis life after the dog, you might say second to the dog....it's not personal...it's just our way....
  • A dog is man's best friend. or Love me...love my dog! I have to ask this because I cannot quit wondering about it. Why did he name the dog Staffy? My mind is sort of in the gutter and I am imagining a bunch of reasons the dog is named Staffy that border on nasty haha Please clear it up for me.
  • This is a hard one. On one hand, his house and his dog, but on the other hand, him knowing that you're not crazy about sleeping with animals should be enough to make adjustments. Personally, I'd have you in my bed and the dog in another.........
  • If your boyfriend does not understand that there is a difference between a human and a dog that may be the least of your concerns. If you both do not understand that how you value pets may differ and that you may to reach an understanding and not with the precoceived notion that the other one is wrong and you are correct attitude but trying to find some common ground than again there is a problem - May try talking about your concerns and desires and to listen to what to the other. Guessing this could be just the start of not talking and not listening - may not bode so well for the long term.+5
  • I'll answer again. Alluneedtoknow's worry is the cleanliness of the dog. I don't think she's ensinuating that the BF is a slob. Also, some dogs after BMing tend to lick themselves and even eat their excrements. We have a dog that does that and I've labeled him the lick machine. So I'm constantly keeping this dog from licking my face and my gf kindly kennels him when we are in the bed and I'm a person WHO LIKES to sleep with animals in the bed.
  • Some people have their dogs in their rooms. Deal with it. You can't moan about every small problem in a relationship, just try and understand them. Understanding frequently brings resolution and if not, acceptance.
  • Is this puppy or an adult dog? Does she have bad manners? Are you uncomfortable with her strictly because you feel like she trashes his home, or are you uncomfortable with her breed? If she is a nice friendly dog, and has her own bed, that she sleeps in, I, as a dog lover, have a hard time understanding what your REAL complaint is. Does she interfere when you two are trying to be intimidate? Animals can shed, and if they are young, don't have enough toys of their own, their owners leave things laying about that they dog should not chew on, but the dog is bored...the dog will sometimes chew on things they should not! This is not the fault of the dog, it's the fault of the owner! Likewise, if the dog messes up the house, it is the responsibility of the OWNER..THE ONE WITH THE THUMBS...to CLEAN UP the house. Different folks have different standards to which they are comfortable living...in regards to what they feel is considered to be "A MESS." The bottom line is that your BOYFRIEND (not the dog) is responsible for whatever MESS exists in HIS HOUSE! You don't say how long you have been a couple, but I suspect it won't last too much longer. I'm not saying that either of you is a BAD person either. It sounds to me that you either do not really like (love) THIS DOG, or you may not be a dog person in general. This contrary to popular opinion, doesn't really make you a bad person either..it is PERSONAL PREFERENCE. It may be by fear (maybe you had a bad experience with a dog) or it maybe by choice, (maybe you were not raised around animals, and so you fail to place a VALUE on having a close bond with an animal.) Your boyfriend clearly IS in love with his dog, and is an animal person to a point that you are clearly uncomfortable with. The question is...HOW uncomfortable are you? People who bond with their companion animals rarely will break that bond for another person. Not because they love the person less, but because it is simply UNTHINKABLE to shun the bond. If the dog needs training to learn to be calmer, needs appropriate toys, needs MR. Boyfriend to stop leaving inappropriate things sitting where she can get to them...needs MORE EXERCISE AND PLAY, which is also part of Positive Reinforcement training methods.... Then THESE THINGS perhaps DO need to be addressed. A calm, happy, well trained dog that is getting ENOUGH enrichment, and gets both MENTAL AND PHYSICAL challenges through training and play...usually will not mess up a house! (of course we have no clue as to what degree you would call a house a mess...) I'm not trying to be mean, but it sounds like you are pretty unhappy...and there are lots of other people in the world...as in MEN... who do NOT HAVE DOGS... Ultimately, you may feel happier and more comfortable looking for someone who feels closer to your feelings about dogs...and who is willing to PICK UP and CLEAN UP after their dog... If he is this trashy with a dog...can you imagine how little he would clean up after a KID!!!?? Kids are not going to chew the couch or chairs...well not as much as a dog could...but kids, over all, are a lot more messy than any dog I've ever had! And they create their messes on pretty much a DAILY basis....up to a certain age! You have three choices. Either really, truly let this go and stop (really stop) caring about it...accept it. or Try to enlist your boyfriend's help, work with him, to clean up the mess, and meet the dog's needs (because, like a child, a dog is DEPENDANT on the humans, they can't fix most problems on their own). or Say Good-by and know better in your heart what sort of guy you want to keep your eyes open for in the future! You know right now, what you DON'T WANT to have to deal with...and that's worth something in the big old dating pool! Good luck! Live is too short to be miserable! Note: I see you added some information...I don't think much of him for keeping the dog outside all day...evidently alone...no wonder the dog may be hyper when people come home...I don't think much of him for treating the dog THAT WAY! Especially if she is kept tied up to boot...that's a set up for the dog to be unhappy, and to behave in ways you might find unacceptable! Again HUMAN ERROR not the dog's fault! He is setting his poor dog up to be stinky and a pain in your eyes! I wouldn't blame you a bit, for saying bye bye to his guy.
  • I see a lot of people saying that it's his house and his dog and therefore she should just get used to it. But would you say the same if it was a guy complaining about his girlfriend's cat? That he should just get used to it or move on? That the bond between a woman and her cat shouldn't be disrespected? Didn't think so!

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