by 
CoachMJ
ANSWERS: 21
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that's so hard to answer, kids have a magical way to find a funnier thing to say after you thought you just heard the funniest ever.
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i told my little brother to close the front door while it was open and he was standing right there and he replied "Eat my shorts!" its funny hearing it from a 3 yr old going on 4. there are so many more
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Long ago, my brother fell out of the window while playing Superman. After the window slammed violently shut, my two-year-old cousin turned to me and said, "He gone." Luckily we were on the first floor!
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A co-worker of mine brought her son in on bring your child to work day--he was 7 or 8. He looks at me wide eyed and says,"you're beautiful" then turns to his mom looking perplexed and says very matter if factly, "mommy she does NOT look like a tart". . . insulting but hilarious.
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My seven year old nephew banged his genitals the other day and said, "Oh, that got me right in the fundamentals."
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the cubs will win the world series
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I was babysitting my friend's son. I had just bought a new car and he asked me how much I had paid for it. Well we had just left a store where he had bought a comic book for a $1. So I said about 11,000 comic books. He looked at me surprised and said "I'd rather have the comic books". I guess that makes sense since he wouldn't be able to drive for several years.
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A 7 year old I have never seen before in my life,came up to me and swore at me.
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My daughter asked me if I hated children once when I refused to buy her a My Little Pony to add to her already huge collection. I did laugh.
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A young charge of mine once came up to me and out of nowhere said, "I've got three balls." Needless to say, I was dumbstruck.
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When my son was 8 he asked what tampons were, since he has asked about pads a few weeks earlier I told him they were kind of the same thing and he said "Oh no their not! They are medicine sticks for your butt! I SAW them under your sink!"
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Well, my children say hilarious things all of the time, but this little gem comes from my nephew... He was 3 years old and we were all standing around at a BBQ. He began pointing to each of us and saying "You're fat and you're fat and "you're fat" You get the picture. He then came to our VERY large cousin and said "you're not fat" and then continued calling everyone else fat in the group. We asked "why didn't you call Matthew fat". He looked shocked and whispered in my ear "Because he really is fat and that would hurt his feelings" Oh, I wish I could be that honest.
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a kid asked if i was hatched from an egg (because i was never in my mother's belly)
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I was giving a bath to my friend's 2 year old son, and we were using some Sesame Street Cookie Monster bubblebath... Well, he was already a big Elmo fan (remember, Elmo went off and did the solo thing with his own show - so this kid had never seen another Sesame Street character before). I proceeded to explain to him that this was Cookie Monster, and he was a friend of Elmo's. He looked at me, scrunched his nose up in disbelief and said, "Bullshit". That was right up there with the time my mom's best friend's little boy (who is about 10 years younger than me) told me that "Lions poop at the zoo". He was potty training and apparently his mom had been filling him full of all kinds of interesting potty trivia.
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my moms fat i dont like her will you be my mom.
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When my 3 year old son saw a neighbour breast feeding her baby he asked what she was doing. On being told that she was giving the baby his dinner he replied, "Oh, my mum's got a microwave."
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My 5 year old son, Seth, was playing with his 3 year old identical twin sisters, Whitney and Brittany. Both of the girls are trying to play with the same toy, an argument ensues and Whitney calls Brittany "a big ugly." I start to remind the girls that it's not nice to call each other names when I see that Seth is handling the situation. I watch as he puts an arm around each twin and pull them in close together. I'm so proud when I hear him tell Whitney, "Don't ever call your sister "a big ugly." Then I crack up as I hear him add, "Call her a stupid, not a big ugly because you look just like her."
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I had to take my 1 year old to the doctor the other day. He says a few words but of course not as much as my 3 year old. Well I kept telling my 3 year old we had to bring Nick to the doctor then we would go to the park next. After about the 100th time telling him "Nick has to go to the doctor first" he said "why cause he can't talk?" I explained to him that he just needed a check up and that we need to teach him how to talk. So after the doctor looked at him she said "you are all done now." and my three year old Dominic said to Nick "Nick, you can talk now?"
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My nephew aged 5 was playing with a child's DIY kit and, whilst holding the screwdriver, he told me he was going to screw himself! Keeping a straight face was very difficult.
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My 4 year old cousin told me 'My Dad has a hairy vagina' while I was babysitting. Her parents had been explaining the birds and the bees - or at least the anatomical terms. It killed me.
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Went to London with a friend (we're from California) -- we took a trip to Windsor Castle and were winding our way through the line going from one opulent room to another. There was a mother with a little boy and girl right in front of us. In one of the rooms there was an ornate high-boy type chest and the little girl exclaimed, "Mummy, is that where the Queen keeps her knickers?" I thought the woman was going to crawl under the carpet. Another classic was when my wife and I were babysitting a friend's eight year old son, Jack. We were horsing around on the couch when Jack sat up suddenly, peered intently down my wife's generous cleavage, and exclamed, "Wow! You've got a whole butt down there!"
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