ANSWERS: 3
  • Have you spoken to a professional in this field? I don't know a lot about this kind of thing, but I'm sure you'd get a lot more out of speaking to a guidance person. I hope you get things sorted out in a way that is beneficial to everyone. God bless.
  • HEllo sara- i was in a very similar situation to what it sounds like you are. my husband and i had two boys and 1 girl, ages 7,5, and 2. we just grew apart and developed different interests, likes, and dislikes. i did lots of research on my own when we decided to divorce and go our own ways. the so called "experts" seem to always come back to the fact that both parents need to be on the same page with how they are talking with the kids about things. it is so important to never pit one parent against the other one by trying to use the kids. that is hard, but can be done. emotions run high and there are days i would like to kick my ex but we never talk bad. we did counseling, which i would recommend if you have not already, but regarding the kids, the counseler did not seem to want to weigh in on what he thought was the best arrangment. he too stressed to just keep on good terms with your spouse. it has been three years now. we have our kids one week on and one week off and i am happy to say they really thriving. they are actually doing better and seem less stressed than before we split. my youngest just started school and is at the top of his class (proud mom!). this works for us, but might not for you. we also did not do a separation, so I am not sure how that would work. every person is stronger than we think. it is natural to be scared, but yuo sound strong and smart. you will be o.k. tammy
  • Have you both decided the marriage is over, and do you both agree it can't be worked out and you want to see your family ripped apart and your kids lives unraveled just because you are having a couple of bad years? If not, then marriage counseling or reading up on how to save and even spice up a marriage might be the best thing for you. Look up some counselors or go on amazon or ebay or to your local book store and find some books on saving a marriage and family. It might be well worth your time and the happiness of the kids. They need you both and kids will always blame themselves for the split, it's just how they are, you wldn't want that for them would you? Thay have no choice in the matter. And hey even if you do split after giving it some effort, please tell the kids it's not their fault, you both love them, your both friends, and give them twice the time and love as before, and don't let them see any of the bad, or fighting. They'll need twice the love they needed before!

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