well, boys will be boys. i suppose the roughhousing is a normal dynamic at your childrens home. it seems the grandchildren are on best behavior when they come to your house and you have a calming effect on them. but when their parents come to get them, they revert back to their "normal" modus operandi. its also possible that they really enjoy their time with you and dont want to go back home, so they start acting up. or maybe theyre just trying to get their parents attention by fighting & yelling. im not a child psychologist, so these are just guesses. i would recommend that you have them engage in peaceful activities like reading or coloring or watching an educational program on television prior to their parents coming over. something that requires less interaction with one another. in the event they do end up fighting, i would use the horse whisperer technique on the them. monty roberts, the horse whisperer, developed amazing techniques to tame wild horses without the use of violence or force. whats even more amazing is that his technique also works on humans. his clients have ranged from ceos to violent offenders. his recommendation was to never fight violence with anger. no rebukes, no harsh words, etc. what works best is communication, trust, voice control and body language. first separate them and hug each one of them and tell them that you love them. the physical contact will call them down. afterwards facilitate a calm discussion between each of them. have them listen to each other and have each of them explain why they are upset with one another. have them look each other in the eyes. make sure the voice levels remain low and calm. after the talk, get them to hug one another and tell each other that they love them. that would be my best recommendation. i hope you can get them to calm down rollie!

Sounds like they are acting out specifically to Mom and Dad since the dynamic is created when they enter the picture. I would think the parents need to get serious and create healthy discipline so the kids recognize that they have to mind Mom and Dad and can't take advantage of anyone.

I know someone going through a similar situation and I will relate what I know.. I'm not saying this is the same as your case, I'm only telling you what I know of the subject. When the mother shows up for her child, the child acts up and does things she would never dream of doing during with the relative and it's because she is desperate for the attention of the mother who is too busy with work and everything else and barely responds to her child when she walks into the home. The Dad works late but tries to spend time with the child. She is just starving for affection and has a fear of abandonment.

i have 3 boys and one girl. They are fine when i am around but when they go to my parents house they act up. I think its the different rules that are set for them. things they wont get away with me they will do it at my parents. Ive tried to explain to them but sometimes its what they can get away with is what they will do. Talk to the parents and the kids together and explain to them what u see from the outside it worked a little for me

They love being at grandpa's house (I cant blame them) and dont want to go home. They know what they can get away with when they are with their parents. Maybe next time they are with you let them know that you love having them their but you dont like how they behave when they are leaving.

you tell them in front of their parents--------you boys were great until your parents showed up. I expect you to continue to behave yourselves. (they know what they can get away with, with their parents present). If you do not speak up they will continue to act this way. They feel they are in their comfort zone with their parents there and that you will not say anything to them.

They are pushing your buttons. They know what they can get away with when they are with their parents and when they are with you. I am a nanny and babysitter for awhile now and you have to pick battles. I allow the children maybe to make a little more of a mess or a little more noise when they are with me because it gives them some release. They have to know what is expected and what is not. The next time they come over remind them first of stuff they get to do now that they are here. Like watching more tv or eating more candy than with their parents. Then let them know what rules are still here and will be followed or they will not get the perks of being with the grandparents. Good luck because boys will still be boys like the others said.

The kids are competing for their parent's attention. Negative attention is better than none. There isn't much you can do, as it isn't about you. It is about the dynamics between the parents and the kids....they can get help with those behaviours if they want to do the research.....lots out thee!

I have experienced this with some nephews and neices. The reason they act up as soon as the parents get there is because they live by a different set of rules with mom and dad then with you. They know the boundaries that are set up and the consequences that follow when they cross a boundary. I am willing to bet there are not many consequences with mom and dad. you can't say that you are going to punish them for doing something wrong and then not follow through. Also, if they do get disciplined and turn on the water works you can not say that it is ok. you have to say what you did was wrong, not ok and this will be the same consequence as the next time.

Because, they can get away with it when the folks show up. You must have rules and guidelines and consequences, the folks must not, free for all. I see that a LOT with kids and parents at the school my youngest attends. Kids come over by me, parents pick them up I say the kid was great, they are shocked and want to leave the kid. Parenting thing is MY opinion.