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by tris992000 on December 19th, 2006
You should not let anyone pressure you into making this decision - I'm afraid it's one you have to make yourself for your reasons and not because it's what someone else wants you to do. I'm afraid I can't offer you any advice on what you consider is the right or wrong thing to do - there are far too many variables. I would suggest you may want to get some qualified counselling. Regardelss - it's YOUR choice and one you need to ponder for your child too. Sorry I can't help more.
by kyannie72 on December 20th, 2006
This is a big decision that is not to be made lightly. I do not believe in abortion personally, but it is your choice to make and live with. If you do not feel that you are ready to be a mother, adoption is a wonderful thing. I was adopted and had a wonderful childhood and parents. My brother and his wife just adopted a baby and it was an open adoption. That is where the birth mother gets to somewhat remain in the child's life. Please go talk to a counselor before you do anything. There are so many couples out there would love to give your child a loving home. Abortion is not the only choice. It is a hard and heart-wrenching decision to make I know, but as you said, you don't want to make the wrong one for you and end up regretting it. I wish you all the best in whatever you decided, but do not make the decision hastily. Even though I'm pro-life, tell the father that it is your choice and you need to be the one to make it after much thought and consideration. He's not the one that has to live with it the rest of his life. Also, just curious if you are getting any kind of support from your family. Take care and good luck.
by munchkin_kids_downunder on December 20th, 2006
you have to about the end of the first trimester to make a decision. go to your doctor, go to the family planning clinic, talk to your family. don't hold it inside you, talk it out then come to a decision. you have time to make a decision, use the time wisely.
by Sarita1 Goes Bollywood on December 19th, 2006
How old are you? If you are too yong (9-16) it may not be the right time and you may be too young to be a mom right now, dont you think? Or are you thinking about an option like putting it up for adoption? If you are older, and you want to keep it please think about life with baby - what will you do for a job, what happens when you cant get a sitter, what happens when you get called in from work because baby is ill or you need to take care of something. If you are well equipped mentally at any age, then more power to you. When faced with this decision at 18 and again at 20 I was not emotionally capable of handling it and while I wonder what if, I know that I would not have the life, the home and the man I have if I had made the other choice. Think about you and your life, not what dad says - you have to live with this forever, not him.
by Anonymous on December 20th, 2006
Go with what you think, Don't have an abortion because someone else wants you to. If you think you will regret it now, you will most definitely regret it later.. If you cannot take care of the child, consider putting it up for adoption..
by tinybubbles is sitting on the carpet read on December 19th, 2006
just stop and take a deep breath and think about what you are feeling at that moment. Therer are many options out there if you feel that getting an abortion is out of the question. talk to a counsler and go though all the optins of what are avaliable to you. You should never be pressured into making a decison.
by JUSTNORMAL on December 20th, 2006
They say "when in doubt DON'T"..As others have said, give it alot of thought first, talk to professionals and follow your heart. Its not an easy decision at all for a woman to make. Adoption is also another alternative. Sounds like you have your head on straight, and I have no doubt that you will make the right decision for you.
by Ezzy on December 20th, 2006
go with your heart....just remember your father CAN'T make you get an abortion. What's the best for you right now?
by Anonymous on December 20th, 2006
Thank you all for your responses. It's good to hear some outside opinions. They've each helped in their different ways and has given me a lot to think out. Thank you again.
by littl_foggy on December 19th, 2006
google or look up a support hotline they have people unbius to talk to you and find out why you would do it and why you dont want to give you other options and in the end you and you alone can may a completly knowledgeble decsion
by AntigoneRising on December 20th, 2006
You need to first calm down. Ask everyone to give you a few days to think clearly. Do some research and soul-searching. Be honest with yourself. You have some time before you need to decide anything firmly. Give yourself the time to come to a decision that you are comfortable with.
by Annie Maggie on May 25th, 2008
Of course the father wants you to get an abortion. He just wants the problem to go away. For him it would be done with, women however (and you are a woman) will have to deal with this for the rest of their lives. I am pro life, but didn't become that until after I lost my first baby (miscarried) at 31 years old. I now have 2 sons and they are the best thing that ever happened to me. I can say that having a baby and adopting him/her out is better for that child than an abortion. Your life will be inconvienced for a short time, but your baby will have a life. Give up some time from your life and let this child live. You will not ever regret giving that child a chance at life. The cost to you is small and the guilt of an abortion won't be on your shoulders. The time has come to think beyond your immediate desires and think of your child's needs. You don't have to raise this baby, just have him or her and adopt her/him out to a good family who desprately wants a child of their own. There are good orginizations who place babies with good families, I have two friends who finally adopted after 10 years of trying to adopt and 12 years of trying to have their own babies. These kids couldn't be more loved and charished by their new families. They are loved by their new grandparents too.
Time to step beyond this moment and look down the road, not just your life road, but this child's life road. Seek counseling, and don't let the boyfriend pressure you. He doesn't have your best interests in mind and this baby isn't a reality for him at this stage, it's just a thought, an inconvience.
by coolkat on June 28th, 2007
there is a way to get rid of the baby without hurting it.have you ever heard of snowflake babies? they will take the egg out of your womb and give the child to a woman who wants it.kinda like artificial semenation but the baby is alive already.
by branciforte3241 on January 8th, 2007
I don't think you are pregnant. I think you are a pro-life advocate who is trying to make a statement. Pregnant teen-agers don't phrase questions the way you did. You posted a question that you knew would stir up varied responses and then you rewarded the ones that supported your pre-existant opinion by pretending to learn from them.
by LISE111 on January 2nd, 2007
Wow, I'm impressed with all the wonderful advice you've received! Yes, some people have abortions and don't regret, some do. The only way to be SURE not to regret it is not to do it. I'm not a pro-lifer per se, but this makes logical sense. Yes, having a child is life-altering, but its not the end of the world, women all over the world do it all the time.
Here's my advice: If you feel capable of taking care of a baby, then keep it. If not, then have the baby and give it up for adoption. That might seem really difficult to do, but its something you can feel GOOD about, knowing you did something positive for the child and the parents who wanted a child. The best advice is to call one of those adoption helplines, they will be nice, supportive and non-judmental, and its anonymous. Best of luck, and hooray for you being responsible and thinking this through!
by Angeleve on December 20th, 2006
You are the only one that can make that call dear. Do not let anyone even the father pressure you. But in making that decisions look at everything there is to look at. Your principals and morals are important, your beliefs of what is right and wrong. In doing all this thinking also think of the baby as seperate from you. When the child is born can you provide are you ready to raise a child ? Are you responsible for you and will you be for him/her. The father may be there he may not. Adoption is a great option, but no without concequence. You are the only one that knows you and you cannot lie to you. So think hard and good and take your time and the answer will be there. Good Luck!
by Anonymous on December 20th, 2006
Hey, Honestly I think you should think about this over a million times. I was quick to have an abortion and I regret it sooo much. It has been 3 years and I still cant live with the feeling of not having my child around. Its a really hard thing to go through and I wish you all the luck in the world!
by wedge22 on December 20th, 2006
please dont have an abortioN! that baby will never have the chance to live...how sad
by 321_fallen on November 2nd, 2008
Im never used to be anti-abortion, but now I am. Ive had an abortion, it was 16weeks old. It tears you appart for ages. it makes you sad, misrable and unhappy. If you can put up with that...then wow.
its your choice at the end of the day, your partner isnt the one that has to go through the guilt. If you don;t want to abort then adopt it out or keep it, there are millions of people that can't have children in this world that would love chilren.
Are you seruously ill? Are you living on the streets? Are you mentally ill? if you answer yes to any of these questions then it might be best to have an abortion or send the baby for adoption.
If you answer no to these, they please please please think about it, If i can stop someone else going through what ive been through it will help - even the dayy i took the 'pill' to stop my pregnancy hormones i wanted to throw up, i was influenced by my mum! She told me a bunch of lies. Please really think hard of your choice.
Abortion is the hardest thing any women will ever go through. Having a baby isnt easy either, but its rewarding as you watch him or here grow and speak, walk and play. It makes you feel so proud.
At the end of the day its up to YOU! Sod everyone else, its YOUR baby =]
Good luck!
by FrogPrincess on October 31st, 2008
its not anyone's choice but yours
if u wanna be a mama just go for it,
well im vs abortion tho
cause its like killing a sinless soul ! thats my own opinion (:
by ttxoxo on September 11th, 2008
u should pray a let GOD guide u a man cant make any decissions 4u remember thats a life and ur mom didnt abort u girl pray up and GOD will nake a way 4u and the baby GOD BLESS U AND UR LIFE
by Gold I on September 1st, 2008
look okay,it aint about what they want,it's about whats best for you.wether you like it or not,an abortion is murder.every child has the right to live.you wouldn't exist if your parents had aborted you would you.you know, you can die just carrying out an abortion. its a sin before God and man.Dont let them pressure you.it's your baby afterall.even if they would rather kill their grandchild, i wouldn't advicce you to.
by kikinha on August 31st, 2008
I can't have a baby and a give my life to be mom...
If you don't want him please i adopt him, i'll love and take care of him...
patricia_kikita@hotmail.com
Kiss
by Designer4theking...loves her kitties on August 28th, 2008
Well, it is a life already with a spirit and really wants to live . I think giving it up for adoption and that child will thank you for the life later. He or she deserves a life just like your mom did for you. Ther are so many places that will help you if you need it material wise and emoionally . Pass if a organization in chicago where they help you thru and then some. The Churchs are trained to help out and will you just need to ask. Its your baby and you can do it.
by janella on May 29th, 2008
follow your heart no matter what the father wants it is your choice and most of all your baby and also if you do not want the baby they are plenty people who do
by hot emo chick on May 23rd, 2008
well c i think u should do what ever u feel is better think about if u and the baby have food shelter and love lots of love
by babyb on May 23rd, 2008
There are things to look at. Are you and the father of the child together? If not are you ready to be a single parent and take on the responsibilities that come with children? Don't let any make you do something that you don't know if you want to do. You have a little time to think about it but I would way out your options here. If you keep the baby you can always give it up for adaption rather than have the abortion. The decision is yours and you will be the one who lives with the decision.
by I LOVE HIM on May 16th, 2008
for one dont get an abortion..
if u dont want the baby give it for adpotion dont kill it its not the babys fault for what your boyfriend wants it didnt ask to be brought in this world..
but if i was u i would keep it..cause if u dont u will regert it lata..
just please dont get an abortion..
by lizzie on May 14th, 2008
you should never get an abortion just think what if this kid could be the best thing in your life what if it could change someones life and do the world better thats why even i a thirteen~year~old would never do that even if i was presured i would go up to my step dad and say its in my stomich and its what i want to do not you its my life and i want to live it like i want to k and if you can't respect that then don't say anything at all.
by - M.C.S. - Dave on May 13th, 2008
Ask the father were he would be today, if someone else thought the same way he dose. There are many other family's out there who would do anything to be given the gift you have been given.
by Doctor on April 8th, 2008
The only decision you will regret is if you terminate your child. Tell the father to get lost. At least have your child and offer it for adoption if you can't take care of it.
Contact a Choose/life Care-net facility. They will help you through the entire process including giving you all the prenatal help you need. They'll give you clothes and car seats and help you with more life choices. The next thing to do is become more kind to yourself and don't let men use you for sex, while telling you they love you.
If a man loves you he'll wait for the prize of intimacy. Love is a verb it requires action, tell him either show his love or get lost.
by coolcountry on November 17th, 2007
well if you want to KILL a baby . go for it . cause that what you would be doing killing the innocent
by JeannieKerns on October 25th, 2007
The only thing you need to do is take some time to yourself and make a decision. This is your decision. If you choose to make it both of your decisions then take some time and weigh the pro's and con's. I myself am not for abortion, however I am for choice. So you take the time you need to make this life choice. Good luck darlin..
by Anonymous on August 24th, 2007
I was young when I had my child. I was only 17 by the time that I had her. The father had wanted me to abort and I was going to. I had the money so I knew I could. But I kept waiting and putting it off and then I just couldn't do it. I thought about adoption but we both decided that wasn't a good idea so we had her and are glad we kept her. It was hard because we were young but we were able to do it and over 4 years later I don't regret my choice for a second. Remember it is your choice not his but be prepared that he may not want to be in the childs life if you keep the child. So make sure you would be ok with going it alone. Also if you are under 18 make sure to look at your laws to abort. It's not easy you need a blood relative over 21 to sign for you or go in front of a judge to tell them why you can't take care of the child. (at least in wisconsin.)
by mattygold on July 4th, 2007
dont kill your baby ders a living fing inside der ud b a maderer
by Ankhorite on January 23rd, 2007
If you were five weeks more than four weeks ago, you are getting close to the time when a decision has to be made.
I agree with everyone who said you should make this decision yourself, and not let anyone pressure you into adoption, abortion, or keeping the infant yourself.
However, I *do* think you should carefully consider what the (man? boy?) who started this pregnancy thinks. It is your body, and it is your life, and it is your decision -- but think carefully about how whatever you do will change his life, too.
Legally, unless the child is adopted, he HAS to pay child support, or his parents have to pay it for him if he's under 18 until he turns 18. After 18, he must pay it himself. Since you talk about telling your mom, I assume you're both pre-college; trying to raise an infant now would almost certainly mean that both of you would have to give up on college, and THAT would mean that you two would be trying to support this child on whatever you can earn without it.
Child support always goes to 18, and usually through college, too, so this (man? boy?) will have a twenty-year financial obligation, and you will have to interact with him every month for all of those years.
Emotionally, if this pregnancy produces a child, it means he will always have a child somewhere, maybe a child he isn't allowed to see, and that any children he has later in life with the woman he eventually marries will have a mysterious, or even unknown, half-sibling. This part is true of you, too.
You are the chooser. He can't force you. But since you started this together, you should give his feelings serious weight. Whatever your decision is, you'll both live with it the rest of your lives.
You're not choosing just for yourself, or just for yourself and the fetus. You're also choosing for him, for his family, for your family, and for the children you may have in the future. You're making a choice that will affect your future husband, and this man's future wife.
I'm not trying to be gloomy; I'm trying to give you a sense of long-term perspective, and of some of the emotional and financial issues that might not have gotten covered in other answers. My strongest sympathy on your difficulties.
by kyliee18 on January 19th, 2007
i agree with mr Mc Clister that children are a big deal and you should do what you feel is right and not let anyone pressure you into anything. BUT i do believe you may always regret having an abortion but you will never regret having a child
by blessings on January 19th, 2007
A wise sage told me once about making decisions regarding children; he said to always ask, "Whose needs are being met?"
It seems that many today consider their own needs paramount. Rarely are the needs of the child considered seriously.
You are in a difficult position, to be sure. Recognise that you will live with this the rest of your life.
Do you want the inevitable grief from destroying the life of a child you helped create? Can you think ahead far enough to imagine a happy child somewhere, living a life of promise?
Adoption has many advocates and naysayers. But ask any adoptee if they would gladly relinquish that life, and I doubt you will find any that readily agree.
Who can say that the life you carry within your womb will not one day advance the cure for cancer, or save a life, or simply have children of their own and live out a good life? Who are any of us to deny another that basic tenet?
I urge you to prayerfully and thoughtfully consider before you act. For you it may well boil down to convenience versus inconvenience, as it does the majority in your situation.
But for the littlest of ones, it is a matter of life and death.
by amanda_0517 on January 19th, 2007
Don't let anyone make this decision for you, you have to make it yourself. It's your body, it's going to be coming from you, and you need to decide if your ready. Don't do anything you will regret either. Good luck and I hope you do what's good for you!
by Mr. McClister on January 2nd, 2007
I have to be brutally honest with this answer. Children are a big deal...you may think you are ready for them..but if you are young, kids could change your life in a way which you don't want it to. I have seen more than one girl throw her dreams away because she felt that an abortion was immoral...don't let someone pressure you to do it...but also don't let someone pressure out of it either for "immoral" reasons.
by tigueron on December 19th, 2006
as hard as it is to give advice on these situation (basically because from outside we always have a constrained view of the facts) I'd say, keep the child, you'll find later that the joy a child brings to your life is indescribable. You will certain face new and very tough times but you'll regret having an abortion.
by jjmommy2 on June 10th, 2009
I do not know how old you are and not that age really makes a difference,but at 16 i also was faced with the same question i chose to abort not that am proud of this but i did do it. I will tell you the emotional strain that i went through at the time was awful and the effects it still has on me today 16 years later are at times to much to bear.I believe that it is the womans choice and no one can make that decision but her. If your feeling pressure to do it then its probally not the right thing for you. Abortions should not be used as a form of birth control it is not a saveall "oh i messed up but its ok i can just have an abortion"that is not what its about. For those people continually goin to the abbortion clinic serriously there are other forms of birth control. I do not recomend it but all in all its your choice and no one else can make that decision for you, noone else has to walk in your shoes or feel what you feel.Take your time and you will figure out what you really want.Goodluck in what ever decision YOU choose
by Anonymous on June 7th, 2009
You are in a emotional point of your life, full of hormones and being torns in two directions is never fun. Abortion is permanent. You can't undo it. I would go in to speak with a counsiler who knows about these types of situations. Look over all options including adoption. Most women who have an abortion live with life long regret and depression over it. My ex pressured me many times to get an abortion and i am glad I didn't,I have a wonderful 12 year old as a result of not listening to him. If you choose adoption most adoptive parents will cover all your expenses during your pregnancy. Either way don't make a rash choice, you still have lots of time to think.
by popcorn on June 7th, 2009
you've definitely made a decision by now.. what did it end up being?
by Anonymous on June 2nd, 2009
You do want you want to do, if you want the baby i say keep it b/c all my friends they have had abortions and trust me they ended up regretting it and now they each got pregnat again and now they are more happier than ever to have a child
by 232499 on June 2nd, 2009
Never make a decision you can't reverse
by soccer_4-H_chick on June 2nd, 2009
You should do what you think is right. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. If you have your baby and think it is going to be too hard, you can put the baby up for adoption. If you get an abortion, you could regret not having your baby. you still have 8 months to decide what you want to do. It's your decision not anyone else's.
by Franklin on May 31st, 2009
If you have the baby, you have time to think about whether you can/want to raise him/her or put him/her up for adoption. An abortion could potentially be regretted forever, with no way to reverse your decision.
by mrs. crystal on May 7th, 2009
I don't believe in abortioins, but I'm not going to shove my beliefs down your throat and I'm not telling you what to do. What I will tell you though, is that you should follow your heart. If you want the baby. Then keep it. Many men would love to help you raise your child. And after s/he is born, have the father sign over his rights. You will have full custody of your son/daughter. If you don't want to abort the baby, yet you don't think you could care for it financially or emotionally, then put him/her up for adoption. There are plenty of people that want children yet can't have them. I was thinking about giving my son up for adoption. But that only lasted a few weeks. Then I felt him move. That thought was over. Now I can't wait to have him and hold him.
Oh, and one more thing, I'm sure if you decide not to abort him/her, and your partner stays with you, his feelings will change after he holds his son/daughter for the first time. Good luck and I hope you are happy with the decision you choose.
P.S. My father wanted my mother to abort me. I'm glad she didn't. I really do thank her every day for giving me life. But she did put me up for an open adoption. That means, I still get to see her. At first, they said she was my adopted big sister, (she was 15 when she had me) then they told me she was my mother. I'm glad I'm still here :)
by world sucks on February 7th, 2009
I would keep the kid and put him up for uadption
Who performs abortions?
by Answerbag Staff on June 16th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
How late can abortion be legally accomplished?
by Answerbag Staff on June 16th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
Woman is physically attacked and as a result loses her 10 week fetus. Should assailant be charged with anything related to the baby?
by tibear on December 13th, 2011
| 3 people like this
How much will an abortion cost if you are on Medicare?
by Answerbag Staff on June 15th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
To women who've undergone an abortion, how do you get over this depression? Esp. when you feel guilty to even forget about your baby.
by hazeeffect on November 28th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
You're reading I'm 5 weeks pregnant. The father wants me to get an abortion. I don't know if that's what I want. I'm feeling pressured to make a decision without thinking it through. I'm worried I'll make the wrong choice and end up regretting it. What should I do?
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Comments
well said
by tigueron on December 19th, 2006
Thank you for your answer. Your advice was very helpful and has given me some things to think about.
by Anonymous on December 20th, 2006
You are very welcome - have a great Christmas - glad I was able to be of some little help.
by tris992000 on December 20th, 2006
Hope you have a wonderful Christmas, too. Thanks again :)
by Anonymous on December 20th, 2006
saved me some typing. :-)
by Jessicax23 on January 23rd, 2007
Truthfully, I know 2 people who have had abortions (both under pressure) I know they both still regret it. It is her decision and I am not a pro-lifer. However, I would have advise against it. I have seen the depression and saddness it can cause.
by Zandalee.Lonely.Lunatic.3yrs-here on February 4th, 2007
do we know whatever happen with this? did u have the abortion, keep baby, or decide to put up for adoption?
by No Air on August 22nd, 2008
so this is the first time seeing this, did she keep her baby? whatever it was i am sending positive thought her way...
by Ganja Girl on June 10th, 2009
you should make your own choices. i know someone who has an abortion and now shes trying to get pregnant and can't. she is taking hormones and trying to get his sperm inserted inside her. so be wise and jsut think it throught and think that might be your ownly chance to have a child. You got pregnat for a reson and the child isn't at fault for you guys not using protection. There are some adoption agencies that you can give your child to if you decide to keep it or mothers out there that cannot have any kids at all.
by Anonymous on September 11th, 2009