ANSWERS: 2
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What's missing is YOU. Your desire to have him "totally crazed...totally devoted...totally mine" is not your best idea ever -- it sounds like you're trying to fill up your own emptiness by having him stand there 24/7 like a Worship Machine, constantly irradiating you with your perfection. That's not a relationship, it's an addiction. So what's causing the void? Why do you feel the need for such abject devotion? If you get that one sorted out, you'll have a chance of having a real relationship.
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Where are you going, first of all? And who's him?
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