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by Tranny on December 16th, 2006

Tranny

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Do you ever feel like some responces on AB go too far (to where you feel offended)? Or do I need to grow a thicker skin?

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Answers. 12 helpful answers below.

  • by Mirage V2.0 AWOL on December 16th, 2006

    Mirage V2.0 AWOL

    IT HAPPENS.

    Free speech and anonymity lead to controversy.
    Opinions are just that, no more.

    Statements of fact, should be referenced where possible, but others will drag out their sources too.

    So, I'd say, shake it off and stay out of the controversial areas unless this is your cup of tea.

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  • by Stableboy on December 16th, 2006

    Stableboy

    There's a lot of that. And there's a limit to what you can do about it, unfortunately.

    Part of it has to do with the medium -- because people are typing in their postings via the Internet, there's a false sense of isolation from the person they're addressing. People will say things in the forum that they would never say face-to-face to someone at a party. It's sort of like what happens in traffic -- people are inside their cars and lose the sense that they're surrounded by other PEOPLE, so they cut people off, flip the bird, drive aggressively and rudely, etc. If they are standing in a queue at the grocery store, you almost never see that kind of behavior because the sense of being with other people is much higher.

    So people on the 'bag often forget that they're talking to a real human, who has feelings, etc.

    Another aspect of this is that there's just a huge range of opinions and communication styles here. It's nearly impossible to say anything that EVERYBODY likes. One guy here pointed out that he had been down-rated on the question "How old are you?" when he provided a correct answer! What are you going to do about that one?!

    Anyway, I don't recommend a "thicker skin". If you're hurt by something someone says, be hurt. It's OK. Don't sacrifice your humanness and grow a thick shell, because that cuts you off from others. But don't react angrily, either. Just breathe, relax, let the reaction pass, move on to the next thing. Understanding that the 'bag is like the Wild West and you can't control what happens next is helpful. Nobody can really damage you with words unless you take them too seriously.

    And anyway, *I* like you. So that should be enough for anyone!! :-)

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  • by Anonymous on December 16th, 2006

    Anonymous

    Yeah I feel that way sometimes, too. You're not alone. I think people lose their inhibitions when they're online, so they end up saying hurtful things that they would never say face to face.

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  • by JUSTNORMAL on December 16th, 2006

    JUSTNORMAL

    The answers dont offend me, but I have to admit, some of the questions do!!

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  • by EL1 2 on December 16th, 2006

    EL1 2

    Indeed. I have often been trembling with rage, especially over some religious answers. But eventually I make peace.

    The problem with answerbag is that it is online and everyone is anonymous, practically. You all know my name or could easily find it out, but it isn't the same as being face to face. People are more likely to say offensive things when they won't be held accountable. For proof of this, see this website http://www.prisonexp.org/ where "guards" became much more abusive when they were masked. It is human nature.

    You do not need to grow a thicker skin... people are too insensitive these days and I think it is bad.

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  • by onzanzabarsands on December 16th, 2006

    onzanzabarsands

    When asking for others opinions you should expect a diversity of answers. Being more thick skinned is not the answer, being more open might be. If you are offended, you should remember, if you didn't want to know why did you ask.
    I do agree that some, not all, answers go a little overboard. But these are how others are affected by the world around them-so take that into consideration also.
    Hope this gives you some of the insight I myself had to learn.

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  • by browneyedbeauty on December 16th, 2006

    browneyedbeauty

    I think sometimes people can be harsh (i havent experienced this but im sure) and you have to realize that these are real people sitting at a computer simply sharing their veiws. not robots that come up with nice responses. but Im sure its not just you that feel this way and if someone is being rude or too far then tell whoever that they're taking it too far because if someone hurt your feelings then thats really not cool. everyone is only here for answers, support, and advice.

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  • by anguilla on January 6th, 2007

    anguilla

    If the questioner asks a question whose answer might offensive, that questioner still really wants to get a useful answer. You would be copping out to not give a full and complete answer.

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  • by nchntdmyth on December 18th, 2006

    nchntdmyth

    It all depends are you asking the question because you want the truth, or because your hoping everyone will tell you what you want to hear. The truth hurts sometimes, but if you listen to it and learn by it in the end it makes you a better person. Some times people can find nicer ways of telling you but if you just look at what they are telling you and not how they are telling you. You won’t get offended as much.

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  • by timetogetserious on December 16th, 2006

    timetogetserious

    you shouldn't feel offended. people on here are from all over the world, from different walks of life. we have all walked different roads, some longer than others. people are happy, people are sad, so depending who is on AB at the time, is really what we get. as we have different view points, we shouldn't get offended because someone doesn't agree with us, it would be a boring world otherwise. we all learn different things along our life journey, and we should learn from each other, and this is really what this is all about, isn't it? (but we shouldn't call people names or anything like that).

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  • by XxSpoofiesGirlxX on December 16th, 2006

    XxSpoofiesGirlxX

    I think sometimes people do tend to blow things out of proportion but AB has very insightful information and it is compiled with lots of good thoughts, info, and advice from highly intellectual individuals, and I believe that some of the responses which are offending and disrespectful are from people who have nothing better to do with their time besides criticize, and their being unhappy is being arrogant to others. Its like a fixfor them to make them happi. kind of like treating people badly makes them happy and they will continually do it because they think they are making some kind of point when really they are just making idiots out of themselves. I believe its all about opinions.

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  • by A on November 27th, 2011

    A

    Yes. That being said, I think it's best for someone who likes contributing to websites like this to have thick skin. It can help a lot.

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