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@kristy
I am using the word divinity in my reply in an attempt to remain neutral, as we all express this and feel a deep connection to this in our own way and I do not wish nor aim to offend... hope that works for all of you.
The presupposition that we would crucify you were you surrounded by us and that we hate you is sad. It bespeaks of what you choose to not understand and the beliefs you seem to blindly follow.
I feel a deep sadness and pain for you. All things created are the children of divinity and contain within them the essence of divinity. As such all things are divine.
Any belief system that a person chooses to embrace should comfort them, empower them, and fill them with joy rather than scare them into submission. I can only hope that at some point in your life you will find joy, peace, and love instead of the obvious pain and fear that encompass you now as is obvious from what you have written.
If I may a meditation offered...
May Divinity keep you safe and may you one day find a deeper more loving spiritual connection the universe of possibilities that surround you that are not founded in the concepts of pain and fear, anger and hate, or self loathing. May you one day arise to find the veil lifted from your eyes and your vision cleared to the eternal love that fills the universe and only asks of you to give back to it the love you have received.
So mote it be
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