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by Anonymous on October 18th, 2009
For the sake of being blunt, I'd have to say no. No offense, of course, if you wrote it. It's very short, which can be good, as seen by Ezra Pound, but there's no intrigue, no mystery. Not much is being said in this, and there's no imagery, except for the rain, which is used too frequently to express atmosphere. You (or the author, if they are not one and the same) might as well have written
"It was raining, and I woke up for no reason."
The last sentence, "Another thing I was prone" is the passive voice. It's also bad grammar, and seems to have no purpose or meaning except to rhyme with 'alone.' Keep in mind you don't have to rhyme whatsoever. There's no emotion in the poem. You have the chance to, even in a couple lines, to express that you woke up, dreading what you've become, that at some point you took a bad turn, and lost your greater purpose, that the sum of your parts isn't whole at all. Keep at it, I think you need to fine tune how you express what you're feeling, and have fun with it as well.
IN A STATION OF THE METRO
The apparition of these faces in the crowd;
Petals on a wet, black bough.
--Ezra Pound
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is this a good poem?
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Can I see/hear some of your own personally written poetry?
by Unicorn Man on October 31st, 2011
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You're reading Is this a good poem? Awoken by nothing, I sat there alone, The rain was pouring, Another thing I was prone.
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Comments
excellent critique
by His Lordship... has left on October 22nd, 2009