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As a vocal coach I have trained several people who were "tone deaf" to sing- with great pitch accuracy! Unless there is true organic (physical) damage to the ear which eliminates the ability to process sound signals, you can indeed learn to sing. Being tone deaf is a "lack of aural education". Somehow you missed a natural training of your hearing abilities to distinguish differences in pitch.
You can make up for lost time if you are willing to dig in and do some consistent target practice. Play a note, try to match it. At first you will need to have someone present (a vocal coach would be great) to tell you if you are right. Then move up to several notes in a row, then notes in strange intervals, etc. You need to know how to find good breath support and control, and how to make sounds with an open throat, too, in order to truly sing your best. http://judyrodman.com
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