How do u make a (homemade) penis pump?

How to make a homemade Improvised Enlargement Device (IED).

You'll need a 20 oz. Gatorade or G2 bottle - empty and washed. Cost .89 including refreshing drink!
2 ft of 1/4-inch clear plastic tubing -- Cost $1- $2
1 plastic 1/4-inch nipple-to-tubing pipe fitting - the type used to plumb in-fridge ice makers. About $1.29 Both items available at Home Depot or Lowes plumbing dept.

Drill a small hole in the bottom of the bottle. The center is not the best place because it is hard to get a good vacuum seal. Try the edge of the bottle base, or even the side of the bottle at the bottom. There is a flat surface that will give your pipe fitting a better seal. Dont drill the hole too big. It needs to be slightly smaller than the nipple end of the pipe fitting so you can screw it into the bottle. You may want to glue it place, but since I've tried a variety of locations for the fitting, I didn't want to ruin it with glue. I did put an o-ring on the nipple to improve the seal.

Now push the tubing into the tube end of the pipe fitting. The fitting is designed for icemakers, so the seal is better with rigid plastic tubing, but I prefer the flexibility of the soft clear tubing. The downside is that it doesn't make a perfect vacuum seal, so you may have to hold it in during use.

Apply a dab of Vaseline or skin lotion to the mouth of the bottle and insert the little fella. Gently suck on the tubing to create a vacuum in the bottle. This will actually pull you further into the container if you have a good seal. Continue suckng on the tube, holding the suction with your tongue as you breathe. Don't hyperventilate your foolself! Experiment! Have fun! Don't get caught! You just saved yourself $100! Does this device work? Yes. Do the results last? I don't know yet, but I'm having fun trying to find out.

BTW, I'm looking for an economical method to apply the vacuum by hand if anyone has a suggestion.