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by Anonymous on August 28th, 2005

Anonymous

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What does it mean if a guy says he loves you but says sex is very important to him and to be with him you have to be willing to try anything when it comes to sex?

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  • by KCTrey on August 29th, 2005

    KCTrey

    This is a GREAT question, and I have a little more experience than some people. Let me give you a little of my background, so you know where my info is coming from.

    One of my best friends, a guy, was dating a girl, who, in the course of their relationship, became a very good friend of mine. He had always been, for lack of a better term, a little perverted when it came to sex. He always wanted to try new things, and wanted a girl who was willing to do the same.

    She, however, was very unadventurous when it came to sex, and she was happy with the same 3 positions she had always known. She was afraid to try new things.

    For a while, things were fine. He loved her, and that was enough to keep his "desires" at bay. As time went on, however, he began to realize that he was not out-of-line by wanting her to try new things, and he discussed it with her. She wasn't receptive to the idea, and it ended up being the basis for their breakup, 3 months after they had gotten engaged.

    So, to help with your question, all I can say is that you have to find someone who is tune with you both emotionally AND sexually. If the guy you are with "requires" someone who will do the things that he wants, and you aren't willing to be that person, then you may have to accept that no amount of love between you will solve this problem.

    I agree with the first answer that love and sex aren't the same thing, but you wouldn't want to give up some of your "ideals" for a relationship, so why should he, not matter how ridiculous they may seem to anyone else?

    Best thing: Talk to him openly about it. Find out exactly what he is envisioning, and decide if you are willing to try. Don't let him degrade you into doing something you don't want to do, but be aware that he may believe that he can only be with someone who will.

    Either way, you'll be better off once you know what exactly you might be getting yourself into.

    Good luck!

    Edited: I am sorry if somehow this didn't answer the question. What does it mean? It means that being with someone who is willing to try new things sexually is very important to him, and he wants you to know that.

    Comments

    • Thanks. It's getting me thinking because I'm not really sure what I want, talking to him would be the best bet.

      Anonymous

      by Anonymous on August 30th, 2005

    • Great, balanced answer! I agree that both aspects (love and sex) are important in a relationship.

      Anon

      by Anon on August 31st, 2005

    • I glad the asker found this helpful, but it doesn't answer the question that was asked.

      Merry Walker

      by Merry Walker on August 31st, 2005

    • Good answer. My last girlfriend considered 3 positions to be adventurous! *sigh*

      mister_c

      by mister_c on September 23rd, 2005

    • touched on all the right points, great illustrative story

      zipper

      by zipper on December 25th, 2005

    • excellent! the story helps to illustrate a good point

      Sam8988378

      by Sam8988378 on January 18th, 2006

    • really good, down to earth advice

      Anonymous

      by Anonymous on January 25th, 2006

    • awesome answer!

      xoxojuli

      by xoxojuli on April 24th, 2006

    • Yep, fantastic points :-)

      Carmella

      by Carmella on August 25th, 2007

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