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by catlovr on September 22nd, 2007

catlovr

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It seems like as I'm dating, every guy I meet that likes me I don't like and every guy that I like doesn't like me. Why is it so hard to find that mutual connection or am I just a freak of nature?

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  • by u.. on March 19th, 2008

    u..

    You absolutely are not a "freak of nature." You are experiencing the "economics of dating relationships." It's been described as an unspoken and intangible assessment of your "stock" vs the "stock" of who you're with. It's part of the power structure in relationships. If you and your date consider your "stock" higher he wants you but you don't want him. If he feels his "stock" is higher he doesn't want you but you want him. It's only when you meet someone with whom you each feels is an "equal" that the relationship can become more cemented. If you look at dating in these terms you can more clearly see the challenge and understand that you have to be your "best" self when you're with a guy who may be somewhat "out of your league" so to speak. Women experience more success moving "up" in this structure. It's actually harder for the guys. The key is to be incredibly comfortable in your own skin and be your "authentic" self. All people are drawn to a quiet personal confidence. Love being with yourself and be comfortable with just yourself. It's amazing what happens when you keep yourself open to possibilities. Being a single working mother is definitely a huge drain on your energy and resources, but you are still your own individual and you must be willing to prioritize yourself on a somewhat regular basis. Moving to a new place makes it harder so I might suggest that you get involved in one or two activities that you yourself find interesting because this is probably the easiest way to meet new people. You have to balance your needs with those of your children. I wish you many happy, and hopefully, fulfilling encounters.

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