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by answerbeggar on January 5th, 2008

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My voice changes when doing a presentation or speaking publicly in front of many people, along with heartbeat raises, hands getting cold, what should I do to maintain my real self and act like normal and sound like my real voice?

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  • by Stableboy on January 5th, 2008

    Stableboy

    You can't "maintain your real self", because the anxiety IS your real self! There's a conflict going on between your ideas about how you SHOULD be in public, and how you actually ARE. Because you don't grant yourself permission to have your nervous reaction, you're left in an endless and self-defeating loop: fighting with your own mind and conditioning to regain "control" over your own emotions.

    Yes, there are people who have used various techniques to manage this anxiety reaction, but none of them have really resolved the core issue that way: if you want to be yourself, you have to expand your notion of what SELF is to include whatever is going on!

    Basically, that means being aware of your emotions and choosing them, rather than resisting them. It's sort of like the advice for dealing with a skid when driving on ice -- you have to turn INTO the direction of the skid, rather than resisting it. Translated into public speaking, that means when you feel nervous, allow yourself to feel nervous. Choose the nervousness consciously.

    Notice the details of it -- the cold hands, the heartbeat, the thoughts about what the audience is thinking, the thoughts about how well you'll perform, etc. These are all OK to have, none of them are the end of the world. You don't have to get rid of them to be yourself, they're a PART of yourself -- as are your desires to be smooth and polished and calm. All of that is just like the clouds coming and going -- there's no reason for the sky to react to the clouds, whether they're dark or light and fluffy.

    When you can allow your anxiety to be, it will allow you to be. That's the secret of being yourself in public speaking.

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