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by Clair Lois on April 21st, 2005

Clair Lois

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I think I am falling for a man who is 31 years older than me (I am 24, he is 55). I really enjoy being with him. Is there anything wrong with this?

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  • by KCTrey on April 22nd, 2005

    KCTrey

    I don't think that this is a question of "wrong" or "right".

    It is definitely a little unusual, although not unheard of. You need to think about the future. Right now, when he's 55, it may not be a big deal. He is probably still fairly active and willing to do the things that you want to do.

    But what do you want out of your life? Do you want kids? Chances are, if you do, he might not - especially if he has had any already.

    You need to also think about how your family and his will handle this relationship. It may not matter to you, and if that's the case, fine, but my experience has taught me that, even if you don't care about their approval now, you might in the future.

    And now for my editorial comment: It is very unlikely that your relationship will work in the long-run. Chances are, the goals that you set for yourself in life will be hindered by him and you will resent him for it. He has probably done so many things that you still need to experience in your life, and he isn't going to want to go through them all again.

    You might be able to be happy with him for a while, but (I've seen this happen) once you get to be a little older, you will start to wonder about all of the things that you have missed out on by being with him.

    I know there isn't a right or wrong answer to your question, but you need to think this through and decide if it's what's best for you. If you decide that it is....good luck.

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