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by Anonymous on December 19th, 2007

Anonymous

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How can I stop being jealous of my husband's ex-wife? They talk on the phone and they want to do things together with their children (birthday parties, Christmas, etc.). I don't feel comfortable with this. Am I wrong?

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  • by Snooch on December 21st, 2007

    Snooch

    The way I can tell the character of a man is in how he treats others.
    If he could blow off his children's mother to make you feel more secure.. that would not sit well with me because that would mean he could do that to you.
    I applaud this man and if I were in your shoes, I would be proud of him and who he is.
    Yes, I WOULD be a bit insecure about it.. that is a weakness we all feel at one time or another when threatened but this is his children's mother and they are first priority.
    Stand by him and support him because he is not a dead beat dad.
    I do not think you are wrong.. I think you feel threatened and I have been there but show support and be proud of a man who is involved in his kids' lives.

    They are showing their children that there is still respect and concern even though they are no longer together and that is very important and critical to THEIR state of mind.
    Trust him and trust In him to do the right thing and be there to support him.
    Would you support him if he blew off these functions because she would be there? That would hurt his children and surely you would not enjoy that?
    I can imagine it is hard but it takes a good man to be involved.
    Be the good woman behind him supporting this and have faith.
    This is all about the children. Not him and her.
    Good luck and Merry Christmas.

    Comments

    • Great advice!

      centrator

      by centrator on December 25th, 2007

    • Thanks!!

      Snooch

      by Snooch on December 26th, 2007

    • I totally disagree with ex wives and their children being a man's top priority in a new marriage. This is NOT fair to the new wife esp. if she doesn't have any children or has never been married before. Your current spouse is your number one priority. Then when your children are born they take the number one spot. As a mother, yes I believe your children are your top priority but not as a father.

      My dad was a deadbeat dad and didn't pay a penny of child support. In fact I met him for the first time at age 34! I now get along well with him, his wife, and his other children. But I am independent and never needed him. Why would I have wanted a man to feel obligated to be in my life when he didn't want to be? That causes resentment and jealousy and I do not resent his decision nor am I jealous of his wife and other kids. I have my own family too

      darlingdino

      by darlingdino on July 2nd, 2010

    • darlingdino: when a man makes a child his life long priority # one is that child. Whether he gets along with his wife or he doesn't makes no difference. His sacred obligation is to that child. And his ex's obligation is to make it easy and pleasant for Dad to see his kids. Some ex's are so cruel to their own children--every child deserves a loving Dad--and that has nothing to do with money. and mom should never put Dad down in front of the children either.

      centrator

      by centrator on July 4th, 2010

    • Great, compassionate answer.

      centrator

      by centrator on July 4th, 2010

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