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by anonymous on October 11th, 2006

anonymous

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How do you forgive a rapist or molester?

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  • by ptrask on November 13th, 2006

    ptrask

    Forgiving is not a prerequisite for healing. It is possible to go through the healing process without ever forgiving the perpetrator. If the victim of the rape or molestation feels a need to forgive the perpetrator, sometimes a few (or many) years of separation from the abuse will allow forgiveness. Sometimes, if the perpetrator was a close friend or relative, the inability to forgive becomes a source of guilt that contributes to a level of shame felt by the victim.

    I knew someone well who was a victim of childhood sexual abuse, and she always referred to herself as a survivor. I learned that she experienced symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, every bit as much as those who returned from the Vietnam POW camps. I don't imagine that there are too many people asking the released POWs if they have forgiven their former captors.

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    • thank you ---I was always vaguely unconfortable with 'you have to forgive the person in order to heal yourself'...you put into words what I have often thought.

      DA BEN DAN yanggui zi

      by DA BEN DAN yanggui zi on October 29th, 2007

    • I thank-you also sometimes it seems there is no forgiveness for those who can't forgive...I feel like I have been judged for not forgiving my Dad but I had to go through the anger and healing before I could forgive then something else happened my son was molested when he was young and is suffering now and I have to say I am angry with everyone including myself and I am tired of being told to forgive without being able to work it out.

      sharron1957

      by sharron1957 on May 17th, 2010

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