ANSWERS: 11
  • I don't believe there's any such thing. You can't "close" it, whatever it was. It has become part of you and you have become part of that person, event, or experience. You embody your experiences, no matter how painful. You can choose to accept or reject them, but when you reject them... you ultimately learn that you are fighting yourself. I went through a phase where I was desperate for closure. I was chasing the situation like a hamster in a wheel. You can have all the wisdom in the world. But the thing is, if you think you can intellectualize a situation that needs closure, you'll never get it. If you hope that you will move on because things somehow worked out neatly, well, that doesn't describe you either. What happens is that you agonize. You grieve. You stay up all night. And two years later, you and someone else walk into a bar where they are and you sit down and you talk, and you laugh, and you look into each other's eyes, like there always was and always will be love here. But you recognize it is over and you moved on. It isn't as dramatic as closure necessarily, and that's what makes it real. That's what makes it part of life, your learning experience, and so much more. Thinking you could provide Closure is like Kicking the Universe you should trust in the balls.
  • The acceptance that I have done all I can in a situation. The understanding that there are things I cannot control or change.
  • To me closure is finding a place you can deal with whatever it is you need "closure" from. Technically, we never have closure, it is there, it happened, you cannot unring a bell. When you get to the place you can comfortably LIVE with what happened or how it ended then you have closure. Its not forgetting just moving past. :) {{{hugs my friend}}}
  • Ultimately that will be death. Nothing else could make everything go away... not even Calagon.
  • Closure to me, is that you close that chapter of your life, and start anew, with what you have.
  • Finding out why [a particular circumstance happened], thoroughly comprehending that answer, and then consciously choosing to move forward. Good question +
  • When I can finally put something behind me and move on. It doesn't mean that I don't feel anything regarding whatever it is anymore, but I've accepted what happened and don't "stew" over it.
  • Closure is like sewing up the patient after surgery. There are things that have happened, sometimes good, sometimes bad, and the major event(s) have happened. But there are still loose ends, still lingering thoughts, still vibrant memories until the point when you realize you have achieved closure.
  • I see it is a accepting something and moving on- whether its after a bad break-up or after someone's hurt you in some other way. Sometimes you just have to accept things for yourself without lashing out at the person who hurt you so bad- shame on them- but you have to move on with your life. At least, that's what I did. :)
  • To be able to forgive, and have forgivness of why there needed to be closure. For then and only then can you have true closure.
  • It's a question of how the past is affecting the present and future. When something is "complete" (i.e. the general form of what is meant by "closed"), it stops distorting the present and future -- you're free of unhelpful influences from the trauma or pain, and you're able to appreciate whatever was there of value. So for example, if a loved one dies, you can declare closure when all that's left is your appreciation for who they were and the memories you have -- when the pain of losing them no longer impedes your ability to love again, etc.

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