ANSWERS: 3
  • I believe that I could. The circumstances would need to be emotional monogamy and physical non-monogamy, with open dialogue.
    • officegirl
      Thank you - don't know if there is able to be complete emotional monogamy but there has to be enough love and bonding of whatever kind to keep you together.
    • ATOMANT
      True- in my world honesty supports much of my emotional neediness thus honesty regarding her ongoing relationship would be needed.
  • It definitely would not be "Goo-bye Charlie" or in my case "Good bye Charlene..." However, it would be hard. My gf asks so little of me when it comes to sex that I would feel it was important to - and honestly would want to - say "yes." However, I have to confess that it would be an adjustment. My gf and I, in our early days, did some threesomes and I watched her have sex with other guys. It was hot - but I have to admit a small spurt of jealousy. A sense of, I love her and I want to have her for myself. I got over it because I realized that we were doing sex for fun - to turn each other on - and that the feelings were not there. I also got over it because I loved and trusted her and knew that I was her first love. So if she said that she wanted to have sex with another guy - unless she also said with him but not with me - it would probably sting a little, Especially as she is also the mother of my children. Weirdly, though, I can imagine that if she got pregnant by the other guy, I would still be willing, indeed happy, to raise their baby as my own. To my mind it would be a way of proving my love for my gf. That any part of her will always be a part of me. So I am a bit of a contradiction. Call it "Yes" with qualifiers, I guess.
    • officegirl
      Thank you dorat - one of the best and most sympathetic and I think realistic answers. Jealousy is natural and has to be handled which does take some adjustment and learning how for most people. The love you have for Charlene (oh wonderful name - my hub's youngest is 'Marlene') is so palpable in your messages as is it seems her devotion to you. So I guess this would be in your instance entirely theoretical. But just the fact that you could understand she might want that - is more than many men could. I think from a jealousy point of view out of sight is more out of mind. So long as you don't allow your imagination to run away with you. Unless you are "swinging". But even then I have seen so many couples feel they have to be checking up on each other and pulling on the leash and oh have a good time but not that much of a good time. If it is not going to be enjoyable and we can't enjoy as much as possible then why bother? I trust Charlene would not allow herself to become pregnant with another. But I like that you understand her baby would be a part of her and comes with her and you can't have one without the other. Many men don't realize that. Anyway great answer and thank you. +5 were we on the former site eight years ago.
    • dorat
      Thank you, Officegirl. Yup, I am the luckiest man on Earth. My gf met me at a moment when I was hitting bottom. She was compassionate, loving, understanding and kind - and has stayed that way ever since. I am not saying we never argue, but we never ever go to bed angry, and most of the time, when I get on my high horse about something, she just rolls her eyes, smiles at me, and gives me a kiss on the cheek. In an instant, I get perspective. She has never said a harsh word about me. I love her so much and will never ever be able to repay all the love she has given me other than trying to be the best bfd to her and father to our children that I can be. Your question is theoretical, but she asks so little of me - especially when it comes to sex - that it would be cruel not to give her what she wanted. If she felt the need for sex with another man or woman, I would agree because her happiness has to be my highest priority. However, I won't lie, it would hurt a little. We have been through a lot together. When she met me, as I say, I was down. When we decided to move in together and decided not to be married, to her father's HUGE irritation. When we became - twice by accident and once by choice - parents and still decided not to be married. We have done some crazy stuff sexually, though after becoming parents we have tamed it down somewhat, but through it all we have trusted and love each other. It would never be out of sight out of mind. I need her in my life too much. Hell, I think about her when she goes grocery shopping and am as alert as a lion until she is safely home and off the roads. I doubt she would get pregnant by another guy, but after what she has given me, the very least I could do is love her child as she has loved me and our children. One thing, though - you wrote "Good-bye Charlie," so I was just playing on words when I answered and wrote "Charlene" since obviously my gf is a girl. Actually her name is Dawn. (Charlene, I agree, is a pretty name, though.) Thanks for your kind words.
    • officegirl
      OK I see. Well Dawn is prettier. And you know I am "Donna". Very 50s-ish name. My husband's ex is Hope, and his current I guess you might say "mistress" is Moira. Many women's names are quite lovely.
    • Supersoftball
      Those answers are too long to be true, in my opinion.
  • NEVER!

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