If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole? I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feedbag. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning! How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized? I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face. My love for you is like diarrhea-I just can't hold it in. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass! If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays? You remind me of a championship bass-I don't know whether to mount you or eat you! Your parents must be retarded because you are special. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside? I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69? How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open and I'll put my head in. Can i floss my teeth with your pubic hair Did you fart? cuz you blew me away. Do you have a library card? cuz I’d like to sign you out. Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em. You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty’s only a light switch away. Man - ‘Fat Penguin!’ Woman - ‘WHAT?’ Man - ‘I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.’ I know I’m not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock. the word of the day is legs, let's go back to my place and spread the word do work at Subway, 'cause you just gave me a foot long you got something on your chest, my eyes i lost my teddy bear, can i sleep with you? I'm like Burger King, you can have it your way was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world? can i take a picture of you so i can show Santa what i want for Christmas? do you have a band-aid, cause i scraped my knee fallin' for you do you have a map, 'cause i got lost in your eyes? i'm like a rubix cube, the more you play with me the harder i get i lost my number, can i have yours? As long as you need a place to sit, you'll always have my face. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning. Do you know what'd look good on you? Me. (Tap your thigh) You just think this is my leg. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it. If its cash your after drop your drawers and the moneys yours (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes. Do you sleep on your stomach? Do you mind if I do? Why are you going, when you could be coming? Sit on my face and I'll guess your weight. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue. Wanna come back to my house and do some Maths? You can add the bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we'll multiply. Let's play war, I'll lay down and you blow the hell out of me! You're like a championship bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you. Im like domino's pizza, if I dont come in 30 minutes the next one is free. Do me if im wrong but you want to kiss me. Nice legs, at which hour they open? You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more? It's not going to suck itself. Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside? Do you work for UPS? Because I saw you checking out my package when I walked in here. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up? Guy: Did we fuck last weekend? Girl: no! Guy: Im sorry I didnt call you back, you were great........and so was your friend! (Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with the rest. What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper! Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before? My ride left without me , can you give me one? Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you? I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in? Whoa, you just gave me the hardest semi I have ever had. I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button. Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours. Guy: Do you want to do a 68? Girl: What's that? Guy: You go down, and I'll owe you one. Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under. I'm not feeling myself today, may i feel you instead ;) (Motion with your finger for a girl to come over, when she gets there say) I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum. You have some nice jewellery, it would look great on my nightstand Your face or MINE!? Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognise you with your clothes on? Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want? I'm easy. Are you? You wanna play circus? You roar and I'll throw ya the meat! I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand. Wanna play TV? I'll play with your knobs while you watch my antenna rise. If I were a carpenter and you were a porch. I'd take out all your nails and screw ya! Wanna play train? I can sit on your face and you can CHEW CHEW. I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down. My name's Pogo, d'ya wanna jump on my stick? Hump is the subject today, would it be a noun or a verb when you put it on me? Do you think I can fit that in my mouth? Wanna try? Is your name Little Red? Cause I could sure ride you in that hood! Roses are red, pickles are green, I like your legs and what's in between! Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself. Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows! Are you free tonight or will it cost me I own the best roller coaster in town, wanna ride it? Let's play house, you be the door and I'll slam you all night long! Lets play titanic youll be the ocean and ill go down on you I hope you're not a vegetarian... cuz I want to feed you some meat! I don't know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns. (When someone clears their throat) Do you have a frog in your throat? Want me instead? Are you a lumberjack? Because you just gave me wood! Rate 'em!

Do you have mirrors in your pants? Because I can see myself in them, right now.

Female Waitress- can i take your order? guy- Yes i'll have a waitress with no dressing.

i could really go for a fish taco right now. interested?