in a word no, sound distuctive and unhealthy to me.

No. I've been in an abusive relationship. I didn't like it. Although if you love this person and want it to work you can try explaining to them what you're feeling. If you're committed to each other things will work out.

Ya gotta remember: there are no practice lives/ this is the one you get. If you keep that rule in the back of your mind, a lot of the questions on Answerbag become obvious.

This person is either a very controlling or a very immature person. Trying to blame someone else for everything that goes wrong, especially always blaming the same person, means that this person does not accept any responsibility for things that happen; it also means that they can't comprehend the concept of random occurrences. Either way, don't stay unless you can accept that this behaviour will not change and that it is possible that this person will be more and more angry with you as time goes by and could very well become physically violent; this person might already be emotionally violent - you did not indicate in the question whether this is so.

I did because I actually accepted that everything was my fault for awhile. After all that trouble I was finally able to sort out things that are and are not my fault in general. We are no longer together.

no, that would lower your self esteam until you relied on them and their abuse. Which would be dangerous.

It takes 2 in a relationship. Instead of blaming you the two of you should sit down and talk. Ask each other what would you like for me to change. And KEEP CALM. Make a list and work on something everyday. If the relationship is worth it it takes 100% from each of you not 50/50. If the relationship isn't worth a serious talk then I would move on.

Absolutely not.

Goodbye!

Nope .. I believe if a person loves you.. they want you to feel good about yourself.

No, I wouldn't. In fact, I'm almost positive that would be considered an abusive relationship.

No way. I think that would be really unhealthy. There are so many more people out there who are much more caring.

Nope, life is too short to always be put down.

No, i wouldnt. It would get too painful. find someone more caring!

No. No one needs that in their life regardless of what else they get in return.

NO! Not without strong compelling reasons to do so. This personality type believes they are perfect and fear any evidence to the contrary. Do you want to be the psychologial "trash can" in this relationship where s/he dumps all HIS/HER garbage?

no i wouldn't. who needs to put up with stuff like that. it won't do anything for your self esteem.

Not for very long. I stayed with one ex like that for awhile, hoping that it would pass because he was going through a difficult time. But after awhile when things didn't get any better, I had to leave. A person can only take so much. And I do not believe that love should be so critical. If it were a non-love, just casual type relationship, I'd kick him to the curb in no time flat. The only reason to stay with someone like this is to try to work things out. However, if my situation described above is typical at all, then perhaps that doesn't even work anyway.

NO, plain and simple

I've been there - Done that - And I'll never do it again! Nobody is worth that. Period !! So If your going through that run and run -- Don't Look Back - Pattijo

Not "NO" .....But.........HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!

I did stay with someone who blamed me for everything and anything. I suppose that I did not believe that I had any value or rights and I think he took over my life when I was first pregnant and VERY hormonal...it took a lot to leave I had two children to think of, but then I realised that I couldn't take care of them if I couldn't take care of myself. So I left, just packed up one day and left. Went home to my mother's place for a couple of weeks till I found a place to go, and I never looked back from that. I have never let a man walk over me EVER again. But then a few years ago I was in a job I liked but I didn't get along with a collegue in a superior position and I allowed her to blame me for everything and anything that went wrong at work. In the end I had a nervous breakdown, and it is only now after a lot of help that I am a new and improved me again. I still can't believe that I let another person do that to me. Still it happens, hopefully I have the 'ME' skills to never let that happen again....well ask me again in about 40 or 50 years and I will let you know how I went.

No. In a friendship, marriage or partnership there should always be a compromise of give and take. Insecure people are unable to accept defeat graciously and so always want to be right and have the last word.

it takes two to make a relationship work. blaming each other for everything doesn't work. also there has to be some kind of compromise. if you want to do what ever you want to do then you shouldn't be married period.

No way. Blaming indicates low or bad self-image, guilt, and/or deep resentments or repressed anger. Most "normal" adults in a relationship know "It takes Two" and work towards getting along - NOT work against each other! Whatever the person's problem - it's a BIG one, and most likely more than you can handle. Arguing or trying to defend yourself will never work - get out as of yesterday.

If someone feels that I am to blame for everything that goes wrong in their day to day life, then I would completly oblige that person by exiting their life for good. I don't want to be the source of someone elses discomfort or pain, so why would I hang around and associate with that person. The true blame lies with them anyway because they choose to continue the relationsip in the first place, or they are to proud to see the real person to blame is themselves... not I.

u mean all the time? well relationship shudn't live in a blaming and nagging all the time though those are juz an outlet to let off ur disappointment or ur feeling of getting upseted.. but i dont think its healthy that one is the only one to blame when sumthing went wrong coz for sure both has their own share of fault.. learn to talk about it quietly and settle things up, if ur partner didnt change and treat u always like that give urself a space away from them and made them realized sumthing they cant wen u r with them.. in every relationship "give and take" must exist..

certainly,you are probably the one doing everything wrong.stay-on, you will get your acts right.you could still be a loving couple even though you are always wrong.haven't you ever seen the HONEYMOONERS?(not the movie)

That is a very hard position. Some people blame others because they are so dang fed up with themselves. Others blame other people because they have that fear of it really being them to blame. My answer to your question is, yes stay with that person. If they admite that they have a problem with blaming you, then you can help them. Real love is forgiving someone and leaving it far behind. Everybody makes mistakes. Maybe their mistake that they are trying to forget is blaming people. Everyone has their own little adjustment that could do them some good to get rid of.

I did for 5 years. I got smart though after a long time. so the answer would be no. nor would I stay with someone who blamed themselves for everything.

If I couldn't resolve it through couselling and MUCH effort, then I would not.

no way. id tell him that everything is not my fault and if he cant stop blaming me, i dont have to deal with it.

No I wouldn't, I view that as being in an abusive relationship. Some people just cannot take responsibility for their own actions and find it easier to blame away from themselves. Sad, but true so stay away from the blamers!

Nope, I would make HIM leave, and remind him that it is my fault that the door is GOING to hit him in the ass on the way out!

I would say "It takes 2 people to make it work, are you going to blame me for everything or are we going to work on the real problem here? " There would seem to be more going on if that is a constant scenario, get some professional help.

no

My brother's ex-wife was always doing that, blaming him and saying he was a loser and always bringing him down, but that was because she was on drugs. And the only reason she blamed him about money and such, was because he couldn't suport her drug habbits. But someone that does that who isn't on drugs, either has something going wrong in their life, or is just stupid.

oops

No there are two of you in the relationship, "TOGETHER", What I'm feeling here is verbal, and emotional abuse. When I start on these issues I get descriptive about it and go on and on so bare with me. Abuse is about control and the fear of losing it. Ill-treatment is an absurd effort to maintain and enhance the abuser's hegemony - social, cultural, legal, and, above all, psychological. Abusers exploit, lie, insult, demean, ignore (the "silent treatment"), manipulate, Blame and control. There are a million ways to abuse, directly - To expect too much, to denigrate, to ignore - are all modes of abuse. There is physical abuse, verbal abuse, psychological abuse, sexual abuse. The list is long. Most abusers abuse surreptitiously. They are "stealth abusers". You have to actually live with one in order to witness the mistreatment.

I did for a long time. Then I tried to figure out what was really up with it. After a lot of thought I found that I was putting so much responsiblility on her for everything, that in her stress over it all, she would blame me as a kind of 'vent'. She was not an evil person, we were just young and had an unbalanced relationship.

No, it would be such a defeating situation. I would get out of there as soon as possible. There are plenty of people that are kind and generous, acknowledging fault when appropriate.

No, I Wouldn't But If you Seriously Love This Person Then You Ought To Try And Work It Out, They Might Just Have No-one Else To Blame And They Don't Want To Take The Stress Out On Themselves The Best Solution Is A Looong Talk And Try To Resolve The Issue If This Doesn't Work And You Both Really Want To Be Together I'd Suggest Councelling.

AM I to blame? If I'm not, than no. I would leave faster than you could call a cab. There is someone out there for everyone and life is too short not to be living life to its fullest. If I've been a cheating, lying, sneaking around schmuck, than maybe I need to take stock of my wrongs, apologize and set things right.

I suppose alot of us do. I know of alot of relationships that their partner blames them for everything going wrong, because i think its easier for us to blame others when things go wrong, we take our partners for granted, and we know they are probably the only people in our lives that will stick by us no matter what. It depends whether the partner is being violent or not? There are ways to encourage people to stop baming you for everything, you just have to be smart about how you do it.

No. Life's too short to sit around being abused. However, first you might want to take a step back and look at the situation. Is this really the case, or do you just feel as though you are being blamed for everything, because you yourself aren't happy in the relationship? On some level you may also be enabling this situation to continue by letting her/him project the blame onto you.

No. Life's too short to sit around being abused. However, first you might want to take a step back and look at the situation. Is this really the case, or do you just feel as though you are being blamed for everything, because you yourself aren't happy in the relationship? On some level you may also be enabling this situation to continue by letting her/him project the blame onto you.

Not only would I NOT stay with them, I'd be asking them (on my way out the door) "If that's how you feel, why on earth were you with me?"

no i wouldn't stay with someone who blames you. It is not healthy and we desreve better. PEople like that are trying to make you feel stupid and dumb because they can't take the blame for there actions and rather than admit it,they try and blame it on others.

I lived with my dad for 26 years, and he never takes responsibility for ANYTHING! He blames anyone and everyone for his mistakes and im glad i moved out. Would not, could not stay with someone who did that - its too ghastly for words.

I get blamed for everything all of the time but its out of fun and its not really my fault.So i just go with it.

HELL NO it show they dont love you

Nope. I would tell him/her to bite me as I'm walking out of the door. He/she needs to mature a little more and learn that you don't play the "blame game" in a relationship. Pointing fingers doesn't resolve the issue at hand, it just creates another one. My kids do that all day. "He did it! No she did it!" I wouldn't want to listen to someone else doing that when I listen to my kids do it all day long.

I did, at one point and it knocked my self esteem right down. I fell out with family members and even distanced myself from my friends. Now we aren't together, ive since found out that hes seeing a psychiatrist because hes the one with the problems. So in answer to your question - no, its not worth it

Yes. No one is at fault for EVERYTHING.

If you mean staying in a relationship if someone blames you for everything? No-way. I have a daughter that blames me for EVERYTHING. (that does NOT count). Staying in a negative relationship such as that can not have any good results. You are the one to suffer and you must take care of you. While it is hard to see what kind of negative effect it will have on you. The damage is silently happening right now. Take care of yourself and get out... Good luck.

Yes. I am living with someone like that right now. He provides me with food, shelter, clothing, everything. And I sort of feel like I have no choise but to stay with him, since he is my Dad.

in a word...no

I've noticed that most of the answers to this question are from women. Is there a pattern here? I have a son who has been married for fifteen years to a woman who is a true sociopath, in every scence of the word! This poor guy has raised their three children. He gets them up every morning, makes sure they have their shower, brush their teeth etc. He cooks all meals does all laundry, all cleaning, all the driving to and from ball practice, gymnastics, attends (alone) any and all teacher's conferances, school plays and games! Yet SHE BLAMES HIM FOR ANYTHING<AND EVERYTHING ! She is addicted to pain medications due to migraines. She walks around with a "puke" bucket under her chin for the entire six hours she is awake! She can't clean because the chemicals give her a headache. She can't go shopping because the perfumes of other shoppers gives her a headache. She can't cook for her family because the smell of cooking makes her deathly ill. However, she CAN smoke three packs of cigarettes a day (during the six hours she's awake! She Can spend several hours during super bowl Sunday at an out of state bar.(credit card bills verify this) while she was supose to be getting help for her addiction out of state. All the while, my son was at home with the three children, doing what needed to be done, and trying to keep his business afloat! I know I'm probably viewed as the EVIL MOTHER_IN_LAW, but I"ve tried to get her some help, which she refused! After all, she's not the problem, everyone else is to blame! Any advice? HELP! MOM

In the real world or is it just my world that's the way of life. The man does blame the woman for everything. It's easier for them and makes them superior in there minds that they are never wrong. But in reality woman are the strong ones, because 75 percent of reltionships are of those that are blamed and we deal and cope. No not angry, I have always been in this situation and so have my sisters and friends. Men can only handle so much.

No. Sounds like a precursor to verbal and/or physical abuse. I would give it one shot -- sit down and discuss that you feel you're being blamed for everything and you don't like it. If you're not given acknowledgement along with some kind of empathy, apology , something.....proceed to the exit sign.

No never wy would i stay with someone that keeps pulling me down over and over

Hell, NO

hell NO! that would totally suck and drain me.

NO, I would say GOOD BYE!! go find some one else you can blame your problems on hope that she is smarter than me to figure you out sooner than it took me or I thought you would change but "You cant teach an old dog new tricks" They can only change within there selves women cant change a man.People cant change others to what they want if you knew that someone had signs of negitive things that you didnt like. NO GOOD, Next Please, Move on;) there are other fish, in the sea, you may have too keep looking till you catch the right one for you but never give up, have faith;)

I didn't.

that depends, if i love her or not, if i did i would put up with it for a little while, then i would talk to her about stopping it and if that doesnt work i would tell her its time to move on, despite how hard it would be, boy am i glad my Girl friend isnt like that!

No, I wont tolarate someone blaming me for something I have nothing to do with. If a person really loves you than that person wouldnt be blaming you for everything...

Hell no. I've been going through the same thing with my boyfriend for more than five years and now i am planning my escape. Escape of a relationship that is evidentlly abusive. Mental abuse is the worst. I have learned that men that do alot of blamming is actually insecure with themselves for one reason or another. They tend to take out their insecurties on the closest person to them. My boyfriend has went as far as complaining about me to some neighborhood people. I'm definately out of here soon and will leave him to work out his own problems, while i find someone who is more deserving of me. I spent way to much time with this guy.

I'd speak to the person to better understand what the real problem is. It sounds like they are frustrated and are using you as a vent for their lack of success and happiness. Something underlies this and I would seek to find what that was.