Can the guilt and loss of self-esteem after abusive relationships by hidden behind an egotistical and self-important appearance?
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 4
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I don't think that you can pinpoint how the hurt, guilt and shame will manifest itself. It would seem logical that a mask of this sort could expressed. Have you been feeling bad about the stuff that has happened to you? I don't know much about your situation, but i think generally when stuff like this that happens to you in the past is generally not your fault. Don't let a$$holes like that ruin your life. I bet you are a good person.
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Defiantly ...there are numerous was people deal with being abuse....
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You know... Im going to say no. Know why? Because I believe that we as humans are inherently smart on a level that even we are not aware of but make use of on a subconscious level. When you feel crappy about yourself for whatever reason, I find through experience, people tend to know it. It is a subtle chemical response and presentation thing that we both put out there and take in on a daily basis with whomever we come into contact with. It is how men know which woman are mestruating in a public place even if they are not cognizantly aware of which ones are and don't act by knowing but by instict. I think that fear and depression and a low self esteem can be covered over by slutty behavior (if that is what you mean?) But men dont really care what you are underneigth if the message you are putting out is simply that you want to get f****d as a way to stuff back the pain of being dumped by someone else. They rather feed off that kind of energy I think? But don't expect them to stick around for very long afterward for the very same reasons.
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If you kick any captive animal around long enough -- a kid, a dog, a prisoner at Guantanamo, or a significant other -- they will lash out in aggression (either passive, as you describe, or full frontal) at everyone except the perpetrator, then eventually fold in on themselves and disappear into a catatonic state. It depends on the strength of their will to survive and how long they are abused. Your friend shows a strong will to survive, but is stuck in fight or flight mode. She doesn't feel safe around humans and employs passive aggression as her defense mechanism.
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