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  • You should have thought about that BEFORE you had a child with him. Several issues here. Was this a ONE time occurrence? If it was, move on and NEVER bring it up again, EVER!!! Regardless if it was or not, you have to think about this next issue i bring up. If you dont stay with him, he has LEGAL rights to see that child 50% of the time. You have no control over the women the father brings into his home around your kid. You have no control how that father raises, punishes, teaches or anything to your kid while in the fathers home. The way i see it is you have 18 (minus the age of the child) years to go in that marriage. If things are bad for you, TOO BAD FOR YOU! its about the kid now. tie your tubes up and stay married until the child is 18 then get a divorce. NOW, if the father is abusive, thats different... DONT get married.
  • I would wait, and see if he gives you any more info on other things he's done to you, it will take time to recover all the mixed feelings you have for him, if anything see what happens in a couple more years, before marriage. If your hurt now, what's going to change down the road from now. Good luck
  • Do you love him? Yes? then stay with him and work on your upcoming marriage. Talk about his infidelity with him. Ask if he knows why. (He may not.) Don't press him too hard. You don't need to know everything. After you get married pay attention to him. Make sure he knows that you want him, that sex with him drives you mad. (If it doesn't then maybe there should be no marriage.)Fidelity is not the most important thing in a marriage.
  • If he cheated on you once he'll do it again. I say leave him. He doesn't respect you or value his relationship with you.
  • See my answers about forgiving cheaters (if you wish): Forgiving cheaters - Here's my answer to someone asking about forgiving a cheater - http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2691789 and http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2676754 (Yes... You can, if you want to, but there are things you BOTH must do... If you CAN'T, see http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2704787 )
  • I truly believe that men often don't know why they do these things. If he was drinking at the time, then he can't be trusted when he's drinking. Drinking would be the real problem in that case. Just know that his actions had nothing to do with you. He was given free will in his life. If he was upset or disappointed with/in you, THERE WERE OTHER CHOICES HE COULD HAVE MADE! Finding himself entwined with another female body wasn't his only choice . . . it's the one HE chose. Part of his character. The most important decision a woman can make, bar none, is the choice of who she will allow to be the father of her child(ren).
  • no, i think we stimulate each other. As long as we can play nice. Whats the song? Opposites attract? I may have been a jerk... but be honest... dont tell me you werent either.
  • Do you really want advice or just validation? If you truly want advice, I'd say find someone who respects you more. He didn't love or respect you enough to marry you or even to be faithful to you when you gave birth to his child 4 years ago. I think any woman deserves more than that. Much more. However, if you only want to be validated in staying with him, good luck. I wish you the best.
  • is he sneaky and do u feel like u could trust him because u shouldnt stay if u feel like every time u get mad u are going to throw it up in his face then u havent forgiving him and u will always have trust issues
  • when in doubt throw it out...
  • If you and your kid can survive without him YOU better let him go.
  • That's a tough one. I would strongly suggest that you postpone the wedding and go through some serious couples counseling. After that, then decide what you will do.
  • Run away, leave. DO NOT MARRY HIM. He will do it again. Do not forgive please this is your life he already showed what he can do with his.
  • talk to him and see how he feels about it and what he has done to upset you,if you Love him and are willing to give him another chance the do it if not move on.

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