What came before AnswerBag?

Before Answerbag, long ago, before Time, there was the Word.


And the Word was 'Aardvark'.

Our story begins (as most good stories do) with a man, sitting in his pants, drinking a beer and scratching himself. Then the words that will change our lives forever were heard from the next room: 'Joel, will you ever wash your own God damn pants?'

'No,' he thought, 'no I won't.' 'But will I?' he pondered more. He did not know the answer, what should he do? Would he spend the rest of his dirty panted life without ever knowing the answer?

And so answerbag was born. Sadly, he has never asked the question, too embarressed by how many answerbaggers would see. So Joel, do you ever wash your own pants?

The "Magic 8 Ball"

Boredom.

The Questions. They were always there. They were always there, and they will always be there. Suddenly came the Big AnswerBang, and millions of years later, here we are!

  There was nothing before Answerbag.

Sex. ;)

Before Answerbag, there was Richard Simmons, and thou Richard commanded thee: "Oh, you simply must buy my steamer, David!" And Letterman replied: "Go-go karts?" Whence thou Richard came with: "You beast! You make me feel like Michael Jackson, ugh! I shall create a 'Bag, the 'Bag of all 'Bags. It shall proclaim answers, and receive them."
But suddenly David Hasselhoff appeared out of nowhere, and spread his evil perm all over the great Answering machine. Richard merely replied: "Oh Davey, where there is the power of the people, there shall always be answers." And thence he created the bag as we know it, and others expanded upon His great work.

Endless hours spent on NeoPets.

Bag full of questions

Before Answerbag was the Nothingness. Then Atreyu rode Falkor, the Luckdragon, and did battle the Nothingness. Victorious, this saved all of Fantastica, including the Childlike Empress, and allowed Bastian Balthazar Bux to enter the land.

This was before Answerbag.