how about a joke or 2: WE GOT RID OF THE KIDS. THE CAT WAS ALLERGIC. EVERY TIME I HEAR THE DIRTY WORD "EXERCISE" I WASH MY MOUTH OUT WITH CHOCOLATE. AT MY AGE, "GETTING LUCKY" MEANS FINDING MY CAR IN THE PARKING LOT The new father ran out of the delivery room and announced to the rest of his family who were waiting for the news: "We had twins!" The family was so excited they immediately asked, "Who do they look like?" The father paused, smiled, and said, "Each other." Dogs Letters To God x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x* Dear God, How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities? Dear God, When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story? Dear God, Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle! Dear God, If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog? Dear God, Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on ramps? Dear God, If we come back as humans, is that good, or bad? Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in? Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the Poodle across the street! Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? Dear God, Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpet thing, again? One day there was a priest sitting in a pew with a very worried and nervous look, and a another priest saw him a wondered what was wrong. The second priest thought he should try to help, so he approached his distraught associate and asked him what was wrong. "Well" the first priest said, "have you ever heard of a Freudian Slip?" "No," said the other. "Well" said the first, "it's when one slips and says something one is thinking usually when it is the least opportune time," "Oh," said the third, "so, what happened." "Well, today I performed a wedding and you know the part when you say 'I now pronounce you man and wife'? asked the first. "Yes" said the second. "Well that is what I meant to say, and what I actually said was ' I now sentence you to death.' If those don't make you smile. Let me know. I have TONS more.

With a friends help, or a little dab of this on your teeth, and hopefully we'll both remember how.