The person has to be willing to deal with his/her demons (those past traumatic events) and come to terms with them. It really helps to deal with this with a clinical or counseling psychologist.

You know, Jodie, I'm certainly not qualified, and I certainly don't have the whole answer - but... I guarantee that if a person decides in advance that they are going to have a good day, or that they are a good person, or that something good will happen... Then that is how that person will percieve the events of that day. We only get fixed day by day, so it seems to me that I should just wake up and say: "someone is going to like me today". All of these little things build esteem, and may seem shallow, but when your esteem is boosted, you can then deal with your past trauma with a stronger foundation.

councelling was the only way for me.

Jodie- 1st, you have to believe that you are not 'irreparably broken'. It is not reasonable to think that when you have a life-changing event, that you can not process it into your new reality. You can. The key is to be able to integrate it into the new you. Life goes on, and you have to be able to take this trauma and work it into something you can deal with in a new way. I would suggest that you find a Licensed mental Health Professional with experience in trauma-not everyone who hangs out a shingle, has the same qualifications! Sometimes, reframing what you are fdeeling into something else, or viewing it from another perspective, will help you make gains in a positive direction. You don't want to remain a victim, so let someone qualified help you get past some of those Acute or prolonged stress reactions. Good luck-do it for you!

It may take a lot of counseling, but even before that, it takes a decision not to continue to be victimized by the past. Sometimes that decision is weak and the resolve is thin, but a glimmer of hope and an mistakable desire will precede the choice to reach out for help and take the necessary steps to do the hard work of healing. I don't think it is so much about fixing a person, but healing the brokenness.

Patiently. Sometimes, people want a quick fix or to feel better immediately and that's usually not how it works. Focusing on where you want to be (mentally/emotionally) in a month from now, a few months/a year/5 years from now helps and recognizing that life is just a lesson to learn from and to believe that you ARE fixable and you ARE worth the effort is a start. If you have to remind yourself that daily, you will soon believe it and feel it too. Surrounding yourself with positive people who want what is best for you can hurry the process.

It has taken me over 30 years -- I am permanently broken. You must find another road to travel. And learn to live with yourself. Simple as that. I saved you thusands of dollars w=from having to visit a shrink who will tell you the same thing. :)

Some of the greatest buildings erected suffer from structural damage, corrosion, and countless other problems that affect the foundation. Two choices arise from such a scenario: renovate or demolish (and rebuild of course). No matter what the choice is, the integrity of the initial design, the function, and the meaning will be better represented in the new structure. The same principles apply to people rebuilding themselves. Nothing is ever irreparably broken.

Through many layers, Fear, doubt, grief, denial, tears, out of darkness into the light. Where you can see this is PAST, it can't hurt you anymore. Then you decide, I've got to try, try to get some kind of quality out of my life! Your life isn't broken, just a left wing, and it's fixable!!!!!!!!!!!!! Signed, Dr Stillme When you feel all alone inside your heart, Don't be affraid to fall apart. Think of precious times when you have no fear, in those moments I'll always be near!!!!!!!!!!

Time, the company of dependable friends and family and a VERY STRONG faith in God and Self.

Hey Jodie hunny, have you tried seeing a counselor?

time will heal all wounds.

Usually people find out that they are not alone when they seek out others who have experienced similar trauma. There are many message boards on the internet where people can read about how others have stood up after being afflicted by trauma. I would assume that being "irreparably broke" is akin to being given a death notice from a doctor. Other than that "I'm fixable" would seem to be the positive attitude to take on the road to recovery.

I think it is taking the time to fix yourself, to be logical, and to fill your life with positivity. When i went through ha terrible traumatic experience in a car, (I crashed into a tree at 70mph) , in that time I lost my Granparent Edith who was like a mother to me, I broke my arm, and I lost my job...you jsut have to get on and be strong, that's how I did it

I bet thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands, of folks ask themselves this question every day. When I think of past trauma, Dave Pelzer pops into my mind immediately. I know my example is specific to child abuse, but honestly, I believe this man epitomizes how to transform past trauma into a a healing, restorative sense of wholeness. For anyone who has never heard of Dave Pelzer, here is a little background. He was born in California on December 29, 1960. For five years, he lived a normal life as a little boy with his older siblings and single mother. When Dave reached the age of 5, his mother began drinking, spiraling downward into a place more cruel than madness. His world became dark, scary, ugly - a struggle for survival. To read the accounts of his physical and emotional abuse, I would suggest checking out his autobiographies (Beginning with "A Child Called It"). I can barely fathom what that child was exposed to, nevermind recount it directly. Suffice it to say, even hearing about such abuse would make a person question the fairness of life and the existence of evil in human nature. His is one of, if not the worst, case of documented child abuse in history. Flash forward to today. Dave Pelzer lives by the motto "Helping others...to help themselves". Not only is he a best-selling author, he also has a full resume of humanitarian efforts and honors under his belt. He is also happily married with children. Shouldn't he be irreparably broken? The odds were stacked against Dave Pelzer; he was a living, breathing psychology textbook. And this guy made it. He more than just, made it. He defines and expands what the human spirit is and what it can do. Words like "resilience" can't even adequately describe such a movement from the darkness to the light. This is an extreme situation to illustrate that people are, in fact, amazingly strong. Maybe God made us this way. Maybe it's evolution. But I digress. How to move forward is not only our minds being capable of such work (and it is a LOT of work!), it's also our hearts being open, ready, and willing. I chose to answer this question with one specific case study but not to harp on one type of issue that ought to encapsulate many different types of pain and suffering. Moreso, I feel a certain sense of timelessness and universality in the enduring human spirit. We must be intrepid and carry on. We must do the things we think we cannot do. Here are a few Dave Pelzer quotes: “To help yourself, you must be yourself. Be the best that you can be. When you make a mistake, learn from it, pick yourself up and move on.” “If people have a basic understanding of right from wrong, possess a strong desire to better themselves and persist in there cause, they can break the chain of any negative environment.” "The thing is, at the end of the day you still have to face yourself.” "I believe it is important for people to know that no matter what lies in their past, they can overcome the dark side and press on to a brighter world." "It is perhaps a paradox that without the abuse of my past, I might not be what I am today. Because of the darkness in my childhood, I have a deep appreciation for life. I was fortunate enough to turn tragedy into triumph."

Jodie, check out Theophostic.com This has helped me more than counceling ever did. I know the people who head this off. Alot of churches offer this free service. Its amazing at the results my husband and I and friends have had.

they say time heals all wounds.

People will tell you that time will heal the wounds..and without intending any disrespect to those people I have to tell you that is Bullshit..excuse the language..time doesnt heal anything..you have to face the past head on..you have to fight, and really desire to become fixable..It's not easy and it's not at all quick..but little by little one by one you can start to break through some walls you have built to deal with whatever it was..but in building those walls you also have contained what it was behind them..that is where the face them part comes in..when the walls come down..you can begin to fix them = fixable :)

i'm still trying to be fixed..it takes time and surrounding yourself with family and friends..my ex broke something inside of me..it's still not fixed..even though i no longer love him, i'm better but not fully functional yet, focus on the positive and heal from that

It could take years. In my case it took over 50 years. I thought I was unlovable , unworthy of any kindness or praise,until I met Bob. I couldn't fix it by myself because I believed those things to be true. I needed someone else to prove to me I mattered. He deserves a trophy of some kind because he continually proves it every day. I'm sure a therapist would argue with me and say that I need to give those things to myself but that isn't how I needed it to happen. It was worth the wait but very sad that we have to go trough it at all...we didn't do anything wrong.

I don't know. I am still broken. If you figure it out, let me know.

Good freinds and QUALIFIED counsellors....

The only (and not very helpful answer) I can give is that everyone has their own road - generalisations just don't provide instructions. Everyone is different. Some wounds heal and there's barely a scar. Some scars, big and small, we conceal. Some we can't conceal, some we don't need to - even if it's only from a few, or a single person. Time does help, but not all by itself. We do heal ourselves without conscious thought, albeit not always with great success, and sometimes our bodies and minds do just enough to keep us functioning, so it doesn't feel as if we're improving at all. Being able to trust someone helps. Being able to speak to someone helps. Being active helps. Being able to love helps, as does being loved. Whatever it is, accepting it may help. No injury done to us repairs itself quickly, but all injuries that leave us living do heal. We may still be able to see the cracks, and even if we hide them we know they're still there, but a cracked thing is still a 'fixed' thing. Having said that, a 'fixed' thing is always an 'altered' thing. Identifying and using that change positively may also help. I should have put a cliché warning at the start of that. Sorry, but hope it's helpful.