Abusive relationships
 
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9 abusive relationships in 2 years. I'm only 14. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!?

By Disturbed in a Jr COAT is so confused Asked Aug 20 2008 12:46PM
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Top Answer out of 130

by Penal Colony on Aug 20, 2008 at 12:49 pm Permalink

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Ok sorry if this sounds cruel, but how on earth have you had 9 relationships by age 14?

Maybe you just need to kind of take a break, spend some time alone or with your friends instead of a constant string of relationships. I think you may be a little bit too young to be getting that serious about relationships in the first place, and having some time alone will give you a chance to gain perspective and heal yourself before trying again.
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Answer 2 out of 130

by Stoutjunt on Aug 20, 2008 at 1:03 pm Permalink

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You are way too young to be having any type of relationship much less an abusive one. I know this sounds unrealistic but please stop worrying so much about boys and just enjoy being being a kid. If you keep on like this you will wind up like me ....Pregnant at 16 please just enjoy being a kid,enjoy your friends,family,and school. Before you know it you will be an adult. You dont need a bf,you dont need one to make you look cool or fit in with everyone else.
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Avatar Stoutjunt Aug, 20 2008 at 03:02 PM
thank you i didnt think i said anything negative
Avatar lizardqueen Sep, 25 2008 at 05:07 AM
you didn't, your advice was good, there are some people who just like to DR for no aparent reason, it's obnoxious.
Avatar Stoutjunt Sep, 25 2008 at 11:11 PM
thank you and i know its obnoxius i hate it

Answer 3 out of 130

by Blackope-Knowledge is Power on Aug 20, 2008 at 12:51 pm Permalink

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At 14, what do you know about a relationship? Define what you call a relationship. What you may be experiencing is encounters and in these encounters, you are giving permission on how you are to be treated.
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Avatar lizardqueen Sep, 25 2008 at 05:21 AM
Disturbed, you aren't understanding the advice your being given. You said yourself that you are a "nieve young girl who just wants to be loved", so knowing this, the smart thing to do would be to NOT get into any relationships until you can take an honest look at yourself to find why it is you continue to pick abusive boys. if you think you are mature enough to be in romantic relationships, you should also be mature enough to learn from your mistakes (which you obviously are NOT).
Avatar Disturbed in a Jr COAT is so confused Dec, 25 2008 at 03:22 AM
I was not actually raped by THIS boy. He just tried. But thank you for the advice Lori K.
Avatar DannysUlto Jun, 27 2009 at 06:33 PM
Lol shot Blackrope +++

Answer 4 out of 130

by slmcgaughey on Aug 20, 2008 at 12:49 pm Permalink

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IMO you are trying to grow up to fast. Take a break. Enjoy the reminder of your childhood. Being grown up and in grown up relationships is not all it is cracked up to be. And believe me one day you will turn around and you will be in your 30's thinking to yourself "where did all that time go?"
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Avatar laksjfdhasdlkjfhalsdjfh Dec, 21 2008 at 09:43 PM
great answer. i'm 14 too, and i just need to chill.

Answer 5 out of 130

by Sheepingly needs no handy men only hugs on Aug 20, 2008 at 12:47 pm Permalink

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first question u might ask is why do u have so many relationships in 2 years at that age...that's like 1 boyfriend/gf every 2-3 months...do u move fast or what
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Avatar Designer4theking...loves her kitties Oct, 24 2008 at 05:42 PM
Sheepingly, I agree with you totally, I came from not being able to have a guy as a friend. I didnt know how to do that. I think if I had more guy friends I would not have been so eager to jump in to always having to be in love. For me I was needy because I didnt receive that love at home and was always looking for love or to be in a relationship. It helped me to forget about my pain . It was not until I started going to recovery group for emotional healing I started then to draw healthier relationships to me. It took time and effort on my part. But now have a wonderful husband today. Well thanks hope that helped the blessed be.
Avatar Sheepingly needs no handy men only hugs Oct, 25 2008 at 04:28 PM
well i think its a good thing to be friends with a guy. Even if its someone you're attracted to and want to date. You get to know them in and out and all their faults and their quirks...so when you do date...your not turned off...
Avatar Designer4theking...loves her kitties Oct, 26 2008 at 10:29 PM
Exactly it seems like this generation is doing the right thing compared to the way I was. I am glad to see people in groups and really getting to know each its a great opportunity. Good going. Chow for now, D.

Answer 6 out of 130

by Mrs Anonymous -HM on Sep 25, 2008 at 4:54 am Permalink

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You're too young to be with all those people.I think you should concentrate on school and not so much on drama.
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Avatar lizardqueen Sep, 25 2008 at 05:02 AM
My thoughts exactly Mrs. Anonymous. Disturbed: Two years ago you were 12 and in an abusive 'relationship' are you kidding me? Where the hell are your parents?? 14 is far to young to be in a romantic relationship, let alone an abusive one, you need to stop what your doing or you will ruin your life, for God's sake, enjoy being a child!!
Avatar jamamiss Dec, 26 2008 at 09:29 PM
Completely agree with both of you!! And this bears saying again--Where the hell are your parents??

Answer 7 out of 130

by Lori K still ignores stalkers and trolls on Aug 20, 2008 at 1:14 pm Permalink

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You are too young to be dating. It's as simple as that.
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Avatar Disturbed in a Jr COAT is so confused Aug, 21 2008 at 04:26 AM
Too late. I got a new boyfriend a few days ago. He was one of best friends before we got into this relationship, so I don't think that there will be a problem. The only issue it that he's 3 years older than me.
Avatar Lori K still ignores stalkers and trolls Aug, 21 2008 at 07:10 AM
Honey, at 14 it's never too late. He's far to old for you at 17. I've raised 2 daughters -- one 24 and one 17, so I'm certainly aware of how things "go" these days. I certainly don't blame you for the path you are on. I think you are the victim. I see too many young girls like you in my mentoring program. I grieve for you and pray that someone will come into your life and help you to find a more productive path for your life. My best wishes to you.

Answer 8 out of 130

by questioneverything4 on Aug 20, 2008 at 1:02 pm Permalink

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Your only 14 you are too young to have a serious relationship, try friendships until your about 20. The other half of the question is to ask yourself the question, what do I look for in the other person? Do you look for macho? Or someone to make you feel good or attractive? or someone to give you attention? etc. It's best to find someone who gives you nothing but companionship. Then you will have no expectations of them and no requirements. They will not be able to let you down.
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Answer 9 out of 130

by azgirl23 on Aug 20, 2008 at 1:14 pm Permalink

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You need to forget about guys for a while. I know that sounds hard, but think about how important it is for you to be strong and independant! Maybe it would be a good idea for you to talk to a counselor, and make it a goal for yourself to just take care of you for a while- and keep away from men who control your feelings. Take advice from someone who has been there, and deal with these issues now before they get worse because believe me they will! Good luck and stay strong
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Avatar Misplaced_Diamond Sep, 25 2008 at 04:48 AM
Theres your problem.
Also date your own age.
Asking for trouble when males at that age are typically going to want sex... thats all
Avatar lizardqueen Sep, 25 2008 at 05:05 AM
yep!!
Avatar Jen says hi - xx Sep, 25 2008 at 11:24 PM
i agree 100%

Answer 10 out of 130

by MRSHINYSHOES on Dec 26, 2008 at 8:55 pm Permalink

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Having "relationships" at such a young age.
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Avatar POLICE...A FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE Dec, 26 2008 at 09:19 PM
really


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