- NEW!
by Disturbed in a Jr COAT is so confused on August 20th, 2008
Help answer this question below.
by Penal Colony is wicked marrying Andy on August 20th, 2008
Ok sorry if this sounds cruel, but how on earth have you had 9 relationships by age 14?
Maybe you just need to kind of take a break, spend some time alone or with your friends instead of a constant string of relationships. I think you may be a little bit too young to be getting that serious about relationships in the first place, and having some time alone will give you a chance to gain perspective and heal yourself before trying again.
by Stoutjunt on August 20th, 2008
You are way too young to be having any type of relationship much less an abusive one. I know this sounds unrealistic but please stop worrying so much about boys and just enjoy being being a kid. If you keep on like this you will wind up like me ....Pregnant at 16 please just enjoy being a kid,enjoy your friends,family,and school. Before you know it you will be an adult. You dont need a bf,you dont need one to make you look cool or fit in with everyone else.
by Blackope-Knowledge is Power on August 20th, 2008
At 14, what do you know about a relationship? Define what you call a relationship. What you may be experiencing is encounters and in these encounters, you are giving permission on how you are to be treated.
by slmcgaughey on August 20th, 2008
IMO you are trying to grow up to fast. Take a break. Enjoy the reminder of your childhood. Being grown up and in grown up relationships is not all it is cracked up to be. And believe me one day you will turn around and you will be in your 30's thinking to yourself "where did all that time go?"
by Sheepingly needs no handy men only hugs on August 20th, 2008
first question u might ask is why do u have so many relationships in 2 years at that age...that's like 1 boyfriend/gf every 2-3 months...do u move fast or what
by Lori K still ignores stalkers and trolls on August 20th, 2008
You are too young to be dating. It's as simple as that.
by Ms.A on September 25th, 2008
You're too young to be with all those people.I think you should concentrate on school and not so much on drama.
by azgirl23 on August 20th, 2008
You need to forget about guys for a while. I know that sounds hard, but think about how important it is for you to be strong and independant! Maybe it would be a good idea for you to talk to a counselor, and make it a goal for yourself to just take care of you for a while- and keep away from men who control your feelings. Take advice from someone who has been there, and deal with these issues now before they get worse because believe me they will! Good luck and stay strong
by questioneverything4 on August 20th, 2008
Your only 14 you are too young to have a serious relationship, try friendships until your about 20. The other half of the question is to ask yourself the question, what do I look for in the other person? Do you look for macho? Or someone to make you feel good or attractive? or someone to give you attention? etc. It's best to find someone who gives you nothing but companionship. Then you will have no expectations of them and no requirements. They will not be able to let you down.
by MRSHINYSHOES on December 26th, 2008
Having "relationships" at such a young age.
by R_Berue on September 25th, 2008
PLEASE keep in mind I don't mean to hurt you or offend you.
Do you know the definition of insanity? If not, here it is: Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and over again AND expecting different results."
This is according to one of the greatest men and greatest geniuses who ever lived: Alberrt Einstein.
Whatever you're doing (or not doing), you have to change to another way of doing (or not doing) it.
You don't have to go to bars, clubs or other "meat market"-type environments. There are some great places to meet nice people right in your own environment and perhaps if you get out of your "comfort zone" just a bit, a whole new world might open before you.
If you go to church, temple or mosque, perhaps there are events for singles. If not go on-line and find-out when and where those social events will occur.
If you have one or more hobbies or outside interests such as fishing, hunting, knitting, computers, etc., find a club or group in your area with people who have the same hobbies or interests.
At your work, ask about professional organizations, which you can get involved with and participate in.
Whatever your interest, IT'S UP TO YOU TO PARTICIPATE AND BE ACTIVE! Get on committees. Let people know you're alive!
Get out of your comfort zone just a little: Find a worthy charity and on a regular, dependable basis - just as though it was a second job - do volunteer work for that charity. "The powers that be" and many caring, loving people - the folks you may be hoping to meet and "rub elbows with" and get to know, are those ladies and gentlemen doing volunteer work at hospitals, nursing homes, worthy charities and causes.
When you do volunteer work on a consistent, dependable basis, your ability increases, your horizons expand and meeting that "special someone" AND possibly "climb, up the social ladder" could be greatly shortened and you could be recognized A WHOLE LOT SOONER.
Are you bashful or an introvert? Perhaps you could enroll and participate in public speaking courses to help you "turn your flower bud into a live, vibrant, beautiful blossom" or plant! There are wonderful courses!
I was reported for SPAM. Otherwise I would tell you which ones they are.
Thanks for asking your Q! I did my best to answer it.
I hope the information helps.
VTY,
Ron Berue
Yes, that is my real last name!
Sources: Some personal observations and opinions.
"THE University of Hard Knocks"
Also known as ("a/k/a") "life's valuable lessons".
by UneFille on September 25th, 2008
What's wrong with you? Well nothing, just that you might want to forget guys for a while and focus on yourself and school.
by CousinVinny on October 24th, 2008
At 14, really?
At 14 you don't know what an abusive relationship is.
Wait till you get older. THE REAL s.o.b.s are out there waiting for you.
Are you drawn to the "bad boys" or something?
Before you pursue any more relationships - you need to study yourself - and learn who you really are, and what it is that you want to become.
by Jen says hi - xx on September 25th, 2008
grow up and start listening to the advice people are giving you
1) you are too young to understand what a relationship (with a boy) is
2) you are obviously lacking the maturity to be in a relationship and to take care of yourself...
3) Stop being neieve and throwing yourself at guys, get to know them, (for longer than a few weeks)
4) Treat yourself better and take a break from 'relationships', get to know people, go out and have fun..
5) stop 'trying' to be loved..
and honey at this rate you are going to, or already have a label, if you do some nice guys wont even go near you with a 10 foot pole..
relationships may be addictive but just try to give it up for the time being..
BTW>>> Blackope was spot on with his answer, the way you are acting is like asking for permission, just slow down girl, give it a rest for a while
by Little Devil the Pumpkin King on September 25th, 2008
Do you need attention? Do you like drama? Are you setting yourself up?
by Sosueme on June 7th, 2009
Dating too young perhaps????
by alwayscurious on June 7th, 2009
Age 14 sounds too young to me to have had 9 relationshops of any kind. But you need to get to know someone well enough from now on before you get into a relationship with them. Maybe you can take a break from relationships & just focus on school & family for awhile. You may see that you enjoy the break from the other. Then, as you are a bit older, you may be able to find someone else who does not abuse at all.
by Audiotron on November 13th, 2008
well the simple fact that you are only 14 and have had 9 relationships in the past 2 years kinda makes you seem like you are being way too promiscuous. Don't need to be having sex to be a slut.
I would talk to your parents and get them to get you some counseling. Behavior of that sort can be a sign of past sexual abuse or insecurity based on your relationship with your father/father figure.
So in direct answer to your question, "what is wrong with me?" I answer:
" You are acting like a ho, and you are going to develop a reputation for being with too many guys, even if you are not having sex. remember guys that age will usually claim that they had sex with you to sound cool to their friends, even if they didn't. So word gets around, even if untrue.This will constantly lead to you being seen only as a sex object, which will result in the abusive type of guys being the ones who display any interest in you. Good guys simply don't want girls who have been around that much that fast."
by Anonymous on September 25th, 2008
For starters, you're trying to have "relationships" when you're just a kid. What you need now are friends, not relationships. Take things slow, give yourself time to get things together. Do you have a counselor at school or at church or somewhere you might talk to? Recognizing you need to break the cycle is the first step, but they can help you find the patterns.
by Daniel on September 25th, 2008
I agree with most of what's posted here. In your own words, you're 'only 14'. To me, that screams, "I know I shouldn't even be in serious relationships". And that would be right. Concentrate on school, hang out with your friends (guys and girls both), and for goodness sakes, stay away from serious relationships!
The guys your age aren't ready for serious relationships. Trust me, I'm only 21; it's not been that long since I was a 14-year-old guy. I remember quite well how I thought and acted then, and I wasn't anywhere near ready to date. Today, I thank my parents that I wasn't allowed to get into relationships until I was 16. I still wasn't ready even then, but I was considerably more ready than at 14.
My answer is: I seriously doubt there's anything wrong with you. However, there's a lot of things wrong with the guys who are dating you. Either they're too old for you, or too young to be dating. Sorry, but that's the fact of the matter. You're too young to be dating an 18 year old, but the guys in your age group are too young to be dating anyone period.
Get involved in the community - especially in the church, if you're religious. Trust me, it's not long before you're going to be 16 or even 18. Concentrate instead of on dating on making friends. Friends will stick with you throughout your dating ups and downs, and you're going to need that later. Exboyfriends get kind of awkward when you need help or someone to talk to about your relationship with the new boyfriend. Again, been there, done that... not a fun experience. Don't be pressured into moving too fast, it's not nearly worth it.
by Galeanda on September 25th, 2008
The trouble is that you aren't old enough to be in romantic relati0onships of any kind. You need to mature, get to know yourself better and learn more about others, as well. Then when you are a better person and more knowledgeable about choosing good friends, you can reach out to others in a romantic way.
by Candygirl on September 25th, 2008
The question I have is what in the hell is wrong with your parents. Two years ago you were only 12. How can a 12-14 year old be in 9 abusive relationships??? I would rather have a talk with your parents instead of you.
by niznj on June 8th, 2009
your answer is in your question.
by hotgirl on June 7th, 2009
14 is too young to have had that many relationships first of all I didn't have my first boyfriend until 16 but it sounds like you have a bad habit of picking losers
by English Gal is back. on June 7th, 2009
The thing thats wrong with you is you are a child and you need to start acting like one you are way to young for relationships.
by bagicide stayed 10 months too long on June 7th, 2009
Maybe you need to start looking at the character of a potential partner before you get involved.
by jazzy jazz on December 24th, 2008
you're only 14, that's what's wrong.
don't be too hard on yourself. you probably just choose the same "type" over and over so it happens, well, over and over.
how old are those abusers anyway?!
by Hattori Hanzo on December 24th, 2008
you're 14 you don't know the meaning of relationship. stop trying to be in a relationship and let it happen naturally.
by Cari on December 23rd, 2008
The first question that comes to mind is, "Were you molested as a child?" The second question is, "What are you running from?" Finally, the third question is, "What are you trying to prove to yourself?" If none of these fit, then I'm at a loss for now.
Cari
by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on December 23rd, 2008
because you are a little girl trying to grow up too fast and are stupid enough to fall for the jerks "because they are so (hot/popular/cool)" try not dating for a while until you get your head straightened out. trust me, there are nice guys out there but you are not capable of seeing them yet because you have not straightened out your priorities.
by dajkl on December 22nd, 2008
Ha, you pick out the wrong guys. Thats all. Stop picking the bipolar emo kids. Honestly go out with someone thats sweet and strong. And make sure they don't snap too easily.
But if they did, are you possibly bossy ?
by Anonymous on December 22nd, 2008
Where are your parents? Perhaps that's the problem. Poor role models.
by R U Sirius on December 22nd, 2008
By the time you reach 15 you will have surpassed Liza Minelli.............slow down!
by ilovemybong on December 22nd, 2008
find a nce guy like me. and the pentagram might have something to do with it. idk.
by socrateswasfat on December 22nd, 2008
sounds like you are messing with the playground bullies too much to me. shouldnt you be reading animal farm and playing hop scotch?
by Olero on December 22nd, 2008
14 and you've had 9 relationships!??!
by account closed. on December 22nd, 2008
you're too young to date
by MrJosh on December 22nd, 2008
Without knowing you, I would suggest that you are too young for a serious relationship. Perhaps you should focus on yourslef for awhile, and not be in a relationship.
by HDev is living On tHE EdgE on December 22nd, 2008
I think you are pushing too hard...Be slow in choosing a partner..9 relationships in 2 years seems too desperate to me and that too at just 14..You just need to sit back and see a sensible guy..It is not necessary that you have to be with a guy all the time..Just wait for the right one..
by ooo00ooo on December 22nd, 2008
cannot say there is something wrong with you but there certainly is a problem. 9 relationships in 2 yrs is simply too many and so is 9 relationships at 14. Heck! even if you're 20 it's still too many. you seriously need to slow down. life is not just about relationships. personally i'm 26 and have never been in a relationship. perhaps i'm commitment phobic but i don't think so. i may be afraid to get hurt but i also know i simply haven't found someone worth taking the risk for.
by Crazy Guy on December 21st, 2008
Well, the big question is what kind of abuse are you talking about? However, at 14 you should not even worry about having "relationships", just enjoy hanging with your friends and having a good time. As you get (and wiser), you choices for a boyfriend should get better and you may be able to have a functional relationship with someone who values you for who you are.
by Sodapop on December 21st, 2008
NEVER ASK YOURSELF THAT AGAIN!!! nothing is wrong with you. it is the a-holes you are dating. men can be pigs at times and a man that hits a woman is a monster in my opinion. i have seen too much abuse commited against my mother and myself to just sit back and say, "o, maybe its something wrong with the woman" NO!! its not. you are 14. you have your whole life ahead of you. you can go a while not dating and i would prefer you did not but its your body. take some time off relationships and think about who you are as a person and develop your own self. you are human, you are strong, you are beautiful and dont you ever forget it. if you let this continue to go on you are only pushing yourself closer and closer to the grave. Please be careful and think through things before you jump into a relationship. You are so young, and i do not want to open up the paper and see another life lost to a abusive boyfriend. That is a horrible thing to see.
by Leeses Pieces is COATed in chocolate on December 21st, 2008
FIRST of all, you should elaborate on your definition of relationship, because it makes a huge difference what you have done in these relationships.
SECOND of all, you should be commended for trying to find out why they aren't working, rather than using denial, and continuing on the path that you are.
THIRD of all, sounds to me like you should take some time off from dating, and work on yourself. Work on being happy with WHO you are, and WHAT you deserve, as a person, in a relationship. I have been in a couple abusive relationships and they usually stemmed form being so unhappy with who I am, and not respecting myself enough to think I deserved better.
by Angel7 on December 21st, 2008
Be glad I'm not your mother, you're way to young to be in a relationship. Where r u finding these guys from? prison?..
by ginalasvegas on November 13th, 2008
well for starters, its partly ur thought it does sound a bit sluttish that uve been with 9 boys in 2 years, surely uve learnt something- TAKE A TIME OUT!!!!!!!!- otherwise ur gonna have grey hair by the time ur 20
by Weird-Monkey on September 25th, 2008
listen to Jen and Blackope... and everyone else on here..
Slow down sweetie
by questioneverything4 on September 25th, 2008
I noticed by your question that you said, “what’s wrong with me”? Maybe there is nothing wrong with you. I agree with most of the other comments that you are too young to have serious relationships but a friendship relationship is fine. If you are choosing friends that are abusive to you and then you need to retreat from them for safety reasons or to avoid abuse, maybe it could be you. Questions you might ask yourself would be. Why are you choosing boys that are disrespectful to you? Do you like certain boys that are rough or rugged, Macho etc.? Or boys that are perceived as strong and powerful with others? What you said about something being wrong with you might be a sign that you don’t feel good about yourself or that you don’t feel worthy of a good friend. Do you choose girl friend that are quite or troubled? Do you feel superior to those chosen friends? Sorry for all those questions, it’s just that the answer to your question is not always a simple one it can be very involved.
by KritterKeeper on September 25th, 2008
Hmmmmm, seems this is not so unusaul with today's youth as I have a 12 year old daughter who wishes that she could date. My girls are not allowed to go on dates, unsupervised dates, till they are 16 years old, and sometimes I think that is too soon! Where are your parents? I understand that parents aren't always there and are sometimes afraid of making enemiews of their children by enforcing rules and regulations upon them but, too bad. . . That's what we are here for and someday the child will understand and appreciate the fact that you cared enough about them to make them follow some rules, they will know you love them and weren't just being mean but were concerned about their well being and future.
You are too young for any of this, and I know you are probably so tired of hearing that, but that doesn't make it any less true. GOD . . . to be 14 again and know what I know now would be so fricking GREAT! Just try and slow down and stop looking so hard for the right guy, you will find him someday when you least expect it. You deserve to be treated with respect regardless of anything else. You must also learn to give respect and love yourself before anyone else can love and respect you. Take a good long look in the mirrow and ask yourself is this really how you want to live the rest of your life . . . in constant turmoil?
I think you can turn things around right now for yourself, find someone to talk to about you and your feelings, someone you can trust and who won't pressure you, just listen to you, there are people put there that care enough to do this for you . . . There is nothing wrong with you other than just being 14 and confussed. Enjoy life because life is so very short and you are in control of your own happiness and you can change your life to be what you want and need it to be, even if it is the hardest thing you have ever done. . . you deserve better!!!!
by Anarchy2010 on September 25th, 2008
Well, you're dating 24 year old morons who are willing to date a 14 year old, first of all. Odds are fellows like these aren't operating on all 8 cylinders. Get your head out of your ass and stop perceiving nice guys your age boring and weak and going after "bad boys" that are actually just retarded violent fuckwads.
by DA on September 25th, 2008
You should not be going through boys like water at your age. If all these boys are the same age as you, then they are adolescents full of hormones and don't want a relationship, so of course you're just an excuse for them to experiment with their sexuality. And if they're older than you, they just want something young and easy. Sorry for sounding harsh, but there's a reason why people advise you to focus on schooling and leave relationships until you're a bit older. Your parents should have told you this.
What is considered spousal abuse?
by Answerbag Staff on April 21st, 2010
| 1 person likes this
What constitutes a verbally abusive husband?
by Answerbag Staff on April 20th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
What is relationship abuse?
by Answerbag Staff on April 17th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
Am I wrong? Or is he wrong?
by gbblue23 on August 7th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
Omg Why are men such jerks and when will they learn? We are not toys
by Jay_G5044 on April 20th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
You're reading 9 abusive relationships in 2 years. I'm only 14. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!?
Your favorite Q&A site is on Facebook! Become a fan to connect with the ever-growing community of Answerbaggers, share your thoughts and find out what Answerbag's up to next!
Comments